How to build and play Joseph Joestar in D&D 5e
What Even is This?
Inspired by the Building Character series by D&D Youtuber Tulok the Barbrarian, this series of slides over the next few months will be devoted to showing you how to play the Jojos that we all know and love in your games. Most of all, this is basically a thank you to three of my favorite things. Thanks to Jojo for having introduced me to a wonderful universe of characters to love. Thanks to D&D for introducing me to a wonderful pastime and the world of homebrewing with my Hicks Homebrew account. And thanks to Tulok for inspiring all this and entertaining numerous people with his builds. Thank you very much, and hope you enjoy!
The Plan
Over the next few months, both at the beginning and the end of each month, I plan to post a new D&D 5e build of each of the main Jojos. This will all lead up to April 4th, to the hopeful reveal of the Stone Ocean anime during the Jojo special event.
This will be a build for Joseph Joestar, the second main Jojo of the series, the first secondary Jojo and the only Jojo to be a third Jojo in a part that wasn’t his own. He is a fan favorite and has a lot of abilities over the years, and I have to try to fit it in 20 levels...this will be interesting
Goals for this build
We need to be able to make your punches shine, like your grandfather before you Need to be clever enough to use whatever you can to gain the advantage in battle. We need to unlock your stand, Hermit Purple, a stand that does multiple things… so this will be VERY interesting
Stats for this build
We’ll be using the standard point array for this build, roll for stats if you’d like, but just keep multiclassing requirements in mind there are a few of them here.
Dexterity: 15 - You like to attack a lot and I don’t think Hermit Purple is a heavy weapon
Charisma: 14 - You are in 3 Jojo parts and probably alive to the end of Stone Ocean, that's gotta be because of someone liking you
Strength: 13 - This is for multiclassing and you are part of the beefy squad of the Jojos
Constitution: 12 - You’re dealing with creatures that suck the life force from people so having a positive modifier would be nice
Wisdom: 10 - You can read people well but we’ll fix that with something we get from our class
Intelligence: 8 - We REALLY aren’t gonna need this high and honestly, you’re kinda an adorable dummy
Background for this build
For race, Joseph is a human like literally all of the Jojos so we’re gonna go with Variant Human Variant Humans get a feat, go with the Fighting Initiate feat to pick up the Unarmed Fighting style. This will make your unarmed strikes deal 1d6 + your Strength modifier in bludgeoning damage, 1d8 when you aren’t wielding a weapon or shield, and you can deal 1d4 bludgeoning damage to a creature you have grappled at the start of your turn. Just a spoiler this isn’t going to be the greatest attack option available to you but what would a Joseph build be without the ability to punch good?
For your two free ability points, pick up a +1 in both Charisma and Dexterity
For your free skill, pick up Deception because you’re really really good at it
Build your own background for the Persuasion and Performance, you liked to get the best deal on kebabs and goof around in fights.
1st Level
Kick things off as a Rogue, first level rogues get 4 skills to get proficiency in, pick up Acrobatics, Athletics, Perception, and Sleight of Hand for all the Joseph-esque skills.
You also get Expertise in two skills of your choice, I’d go for Perception and Deception to notice things no one else would and to be able to lie to what is essentially a god.
You also get Sneak Attack at this level, where you can add an additional 1d6 damage to an attack made with a finesse or ranged weapon once per turn against a creature that you have advantage on or when it is within 5 feet to an ally. The damage increases at later levels for the ability to hit below the belt, which is very on brand for Joseph.
You also get Thieves’ Cant, which is a special language only thieves can use, so you can tell someone his bubbles are stupid, even if they speak some make believe language like Italian.
2nd Level
Let's head over to paladin now. 1st level paladins get abilities such as Divine Sense, which as an action lets you know the location of any celestial, fiend, or undead or if a place or object is consecrated or desecrated within 60 feet of you. You can do this amount of times equal to 1 + your Charisma modifier per long rest.
You also get Lay on Hands, which gives you a pool of hp equal to 5 x your paladin level. As an action you can touch a creature and either heal an amount of hp equal to the amount drawn or can expend 5 points to cure them of disease or poison. Use this if anything screws up your lungs because lungs are vital for Hamon-users.
3rd Level
2nd level paladins get a fighting style, pick up Dueling to add +2 to damage rolls made with wielding a melee weapon in one hand and no other weapon. I would say that Hermit Purple would be a whip in combat, which does 1d4 slashing damage, has the finesse property and has a melee range of 10 feet. However you don’t have a stand yet so just punch or say these are your clacker volleys.
Paladins also get spells at this level. You can prepare an amount of spells equal to your Charisma plus half your paladin level. For spells this level, I recommend picking up Divine Favor, which adds 1d4 radiant damage to all weapon attacks you make for 1 minute or until you drop concentration. I also recommend Shield of Faith, which adds +2 to the AC of a creature within 60 feet of you for 10 minutes or until you drop concentration. I also recommend Detect Evil and Good. This lets you know if there is an aberration, celestial, elemental, fey, fiend, or undead within 30 feet of you, as well as where the creature is located. Similarly, you know if there is a place or object within 30 feet of you that has been magically consecrated or desecrated for 10 minutes or until you drop concentration. The spell can penetrate most barriers, but it is blocked by 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt. If the Pillar Men don’t count as undead, this will help ping them.
But I recommend casting my favorite paladin spell, Divine Smite, which isn’t actually a spell but a paladin feature. This feature lets you spend a spell slot to channel hamon into your attacks, dealing 2d8 radiant damage to a creature you hit with a melee weapon attack, adding 1d8 for each spell level above 1st for a max of 5d8. The damage increases by 1d8 if the target is an undead or a fiend, to a max of 6d8, so try and steer your DM to make the Pillar Men either of those.
4th Level
3rd level paladins get Divine Health, which makes you immune to disease. Again, no joke. Social distance and treat this seriously and hopefully we can get over this early in 2021.
Paladins also get to pick a Sacred Oath at this level, and I think you’re like your grandfather and imma make you an Oath of Devotion paladin. You gain spells as part of your Oath. Protection from Evil and Good is a spell that gives aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiend, and undead disadvantage on attack rolls on the target of this spell. The target can’t be charmed, frightened, or possessed by these creatures, and has advantage on any new saving throw if they are already charmed, frightened, or possessed. This lasts for 10 minutes or until you drop concentration. You also get Sanctuary, which wards a creature within range against attack. Until the spell ends in a minute, any creature who targets the warded creature with an attack or a harmful spell must first make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature must choose a new target or lose the attack or spell. This spell doesn't protect the warded creature from area effects, such as the explosion of a fireball. This ends early if the warded creature causes damage or affects an enemy. You tend not to play well with others, but you COULD end a fight peacefully.
You also get Channel Divinity from your Oath, with two options to use it on once per short or long rest. Devotion paladins get Sacred Weapon, which lets you add your Charisma modifier to attack rolls made with a weapon (with a minimum bonus of +1), make the weapon emits bright light in a 20-foot radius and dim light 20 feet beyond that, and makes it magical if it isn’t already. This lasts for 1 minute, and you can end it on your turn, if you drop the weapon, or if you fall unconscious. You can also Turn the Unholy, where each fiend or undead within 30 feet of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. If it fails its saving throw, it is turned for 1 minute or until it takes damage. it must spend its turns trying to move as far away from you as it can, and can’t willingly move within 30 feet of you, can’t take reactions, and use only the Dash action or try to escape from an effect that prevents it from moving. If there’s nowhere to move, it uses the Dodge action. The second option isn’t as in character, so just brighten up your clacker volley.
5th Level
4th level paladins get an Ability Score Improvement to increase ability scores or pick up a feat. Pick up the Tavern Brawler feat. You can increase your Strength or Constitution by 1, pick Strength to hit a little harder with your hamon punches. You also gain proficiency in improvised weapons, and when you hit a creature with an unarmed strike or an improvised weapon on your turn, you can use a bonus action to attempt to grapple the target. You used a HAT to kill an immortal fitness god, that is what makes you amazing.
You also get another spell at this level. Cure Wounds is a 1st level spell that lets A creature you touch regains a number of hit points equal to 1d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st. Maybe if Joseph used this, Zeppeli would still be alive….wait this seems familiar...
6th Level
Going back to rogue now, 2nd level rogues get Cunning Action, which allows you to take the Dash, Disengage, or Hide action. This makes you super mobile on your turn, which fits well with the Roguish Archetype that you’ll get.
7th Level
Which is what you get at the third level of rogue. I would say Joseph’s fighting style makes him a Swashbuckler. Swashbuckler rogues get Fancy Footwork, where when you make a melee attack against a creature, that creature can’t make opportunity attacks against you for the rest of your turn, so then you can hit and run the scary ascended aztec immortal. You also get Rakish Audacity, which lets you add your Charisma modifier to initiative rolls. You also don’t need advantage on the attack roll to use your Sneak Attack against a creature if you are within 5 feet of it, no other creatures are within 5 feet of you, and you don’t have disadvantage on the attack roll, Joseph is amazing at 1v1s. Your Sneak Attack also increases to 2d6 for better below the belt damage.
8th Level 4th level rogues get an Ability Score Improvement, bump up your Dexterity for better hits with your cracker volleys and any crossbows in case you need to use one in a chariot race...just in case
9th Level
5th level rogues get Uncanny Dodge, which lets you reduce the damage of an incoming attack you can see by half as a reaction. Kars and the Pillar Men seem to be the type of creatures to send out lots, so being able to reduce that is always a good thing. Your Sneak Attack damage also increases to 3d6 at this level.
10th Level
6th level rogues get expertise in two more skills, how about Persuasion to ask that cute Italian girl on a date and Acrobatics to better dodge the attacks from that same cute Italian girl being possessed by the immortal aztec god with the boiling blood. It’s called Jojo's BIZARRE Adventure for a reason.
11th Level
7th level rogues have 4d6 Sneak Attack damage at this level and they also get Evasion, which lets you take no damage when you successfully make a Dexterity saving throw, and only take half damage when you fail. This way, you can make sure to survive whatever those enemy stand users have to throw at you....oh wait you don’t have a stand yet… let's fix that real quick.
12th Level
1st level warlocks get to pick an Otherworldly Patron, and for Joseph it's kinda a stretch, but I'm going to say the Great Old One fits the best for Joseph. The whole ability of Hermit Purple is about seeking out information, and I figure GOOlocks are the best in doing that. Plus the stand arrows come from space, so it all works out! 1st level GOOlocks get Awakened Mind, which allows you to telepathically speak to any creature you can see within 30 feet of you as long as it can speak one language. This is a good way to speak to other stand users without others knowing what you’re saying.
You also get spells at this level, Mage Hand is a cantrip that summons a tendril of Hermit Purple within 30 feet. The hand lasts for 1 minute or until you dismiss it as an action, or it vanishes if it is ever more than 30 feet away from you or if you cast this spell again. You can use it as an action to manipulate an object, open an unlocked door or container, stow or retrieve an item from an open container, or pour the contents out of a vial, but you can’t attack with it, activate magic items, or carry more than 10 pounds. You can move it up to 30 feet each time you use it. True Strike is another cantrip that you cast as an action to gain advantage on your next weapon attack but is terrible, just attack twice. Charm Person is a 1st level spell that forces a creature to make a Wisdom saving throw (with advantage if you’re fighting it), and is charmed by you if it fails until the spell ends in an hour or until you do anything harmful to it. It considers you a friend, but it knows it was charmed by you when it ends. This is a great spell for when you go into real estate, to really seal the deal. Comprehend Languages is a spell that lets you understand any spoken or written language for an hour, but not any secret unknown languages. You can speak English, Italian, Japanese, Arabic, hell you could probably speak whale if you wanted to. In terms of multiclassing with paladin, you have spell slots from paladin that come back on a long rest, spell slots from warlock that come back on a short rest, and you can cast spells from either class with either slots. So spoiler alert, but you’ll easily get 5th level warlock slots to cast Divine Smite, meaning you always have some slots to take Dio on.
13th Level
2nd level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations which are basically feats that only warlocks can take...or if you take a feat for it, but that's not what we’re doing. Armor of Shadows lets you cast the Mage Armor spell at will, which lets you have an AC of 13 + your Dexterity modifier while you’re not wearing armor. You also get a second one at this level but take whatever you’d want, because we’re gonna drop it next level.
For this level’s spell, Witch Bolt lets you make a ranged spell attack against a creature. On a hit, the target takes 1d12 lightning damage, and on each of your turns for the duration, you can use your action to deal 1d12 lightning damage to the target automatically. The spell ends after a minute, if you lose concentration, if you use your action to do anything else, if the target is ever outside the spell’s range, or if it has total cover from you. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the initial damage increases by 1d12 for each slot level above 1st. For when you wanna zap people with hamon, but not the “sun-like and vampire killing” kind.
14th Level
3rd level warlocks get to pick a Pact Boon. Pact of the Blade lets you summon a melee weapon to your hand that you are proficient with and is considered magical for overcoming resistance and immunity. You can also transform one magic weapon into your pact weapon by performing a 1 hour ritual while you hold the weapon and can be done during a short rest. You can then dismiss the weapon, shunting it into an extradimensional space, and it appears whenever you create your pact weapon thereafter. You can’t affect an artifact or a sentient weapon in this way. The weapon ceases being your pact weapon if you die, if you perform the 1-hour ritual on a different weapon or to break your bond to it. The weapon appears at your feet if it is in the extradimensional space when the bond breaks. Remember that invocation I said you could pick whatever you want? Drop that one and pick up the Improved Pact Weapon invocation, now your pact weapon is a focus for your warlock spells, gains +1 to attack and damage rolls if it doesn’t already, and it can now be a shortbow, longbow, light crossbow, or heavy crossbow. Remember when I said Hermit Purple would probably be a whip? This is why, and you can still get your Sneak Attack with it.
You also get 2nd level spells at this level, Detect Thoughts is a 2nd level spell which is how you can bamboozle people very often. For 1 minute or until you lose concentration, You can read surface level thoughts of any creature within 30 feet with an Intelligence of at least 3. As an action, you can either shift your attention to another creature's thoughts or attempt to probe deeper into the same creature's mind. If you probe deeper, the target must make a Wisdom saving throw. If it fails, you gain insight into its reasoning, its emotional state, and something that looms large in its mind. If it succeeds, the spell ends. Either way, the target knows that you are probing into its mind, and unless you shift your attention to another creature's thoughts, the creature can use its action on its turn to make an Intelligence check contested by your Intelligence check; if it succeeds, the spell ends. The spell can penetrate barriers, but 2 feet of rock, 2 inches of any metal other than lead, or a thin sheet of lead blocks you. Check the Player’s Handbook for more about this spell, and use it to fool people into thinking you know everything.
15th Level
4th level warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement. Cap off your Dexterity for the best Hermit Purple attacks and AC your soul can buy
You can also learn a new spell and cantrip at this level. For the cantrip, believe me when I say pick whatever you’d like. For the leveled spell, Hold Person is a 2nd level spell that forces a creature within 60 feet to make a Wisdom saving throw, being paralyzed on a failure for 1 minute or until you lose concentration. At the end of each of its turns, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. On a success, the spell ends on the target. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, you can target one additional humanoid for each slot level above 2nd. The humanoids must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them. This is a great spell to unload all your spell slots to smite a paralyzed creature, because all attacks made from 5 feet are critical hits. So tie a person up with Hermit Purple and do your best impression of your grandson while they are tied up.
16th Level
5th level warlocks get another Eldritch Invocation, Thirsting Blade lets you attack twice when you take the Attack action with your pact weapon. More attacks, more damage, what’s more to say? A bit actually, because you can only get Sneak Attack on one attack per turn, so either wait for a critical hit to dump Divine Smites into, or just cast Hold Person and try to kill Whammu in one hit...why is he still standing?
You also get 3rd level spells at this level. Clairvoyance is a 3rd level spell that creates an invisible sensor within range in a location familiar to you or in an obvious location that is unfamiliar to you (such as behind a door, around a corner, or in a grove of trees). The sensor remains in place for the duration, and it can't be attacked or otherwise interacted with. When you cast the spell, you choose seeing or hearing. You can use the chosen sense through the sensor as if you were in its space. As for your action, you can switch between seeing and hearing. A creature that can see the sensor (such as a creature benefiting from See Invisibility or Truesight) sees a luminous, intangible orb about the size of your fist. This is great for various recon scenarios, and is something I can see Hermit Purple doing.
17th Level
6th level GOOlocks get Entropic Ward. Once per short or long rest, when a creature makes an attack roll against you, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on that roll. If the attack misses you, your next attack roll against the creature has advantage if you make it before the end of your next turn. Wrap Hermit Purple around the weapon to stop it, maybe you could’ve done this with the rock that fell on Caesar?...Now I’m sad.
You also learn a new spell at this level. Sending is not super in character, it lets you send a short message of twenty-five words or less to a creature with at least 1 in Intelligence with which you are familiar. The creature hears the message in its mind, recognizes you as the sender if it knows you, and can answer in a like manner immediately. You can send the message across any distance and even to other planes of existence, but if the target is on a different plane than you, there is a 5 percent chance that the message doesn't arrive. I’m not sure if Hermit Purple CAN do this, but I bet not because it wouldn’t be as interesting if you got split up from the other Crusaders and then you could go “hey meet me over in X place”. Would cut some arcs short.
18th Level
7th level warlocks get a new Eldritch Invocation. Fiendish Vigor lets you cast False Life at 1st level at will, which lets you get temporary hp equal to 1d4 + 4. This is probably part of what has been keeping you alive all these years, and also maybe the life energy flowing through you, or because you’re a fan favorite.
You also can learn 4th level spells at this level. Charm Monster is like Charm Person, but not restricted to just humanoids, in case you want to sell real estate to some of the Pillar Men or vampires. I’m now envisioning Dracula buying a mansion from you and then killing him because yknow...sun energy thing...
19th Level
8th level warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement, bump up your Charisma to increase your spell save DC and just to be more charming. For this level’s spell, pick whatever you want, because nothing really fits for you enough to talk about until the next level.
20th Level
Which is the 9th level of warlock for 5th level spells, Scrying is the Hermit Purple spell. You can see and hear a particular creature you choose that is on the same plane of existence as you. The target must make a Wisdom saving throw, which is modified by how well you know the target and the sort of physical connection you have to it. If a target knows you're casting this spell, it can fail the saving throw voluntarily if it wants to be observed. On a successful save, the target isn't affected, and you can't use this spell against it again for 24 hours. On a failed save, the spell creates an invisible sensor within 10 feet of the target. You can see and hear through the sensor as if you were there. The sensor moves with the target, remaining within 10 feet of it for the duration. A creature that can see invisible objects sees the sensor as a luminous orb about the size of your fist. Instead of targeting a creature, you can choose a location you have seen before as the target of this spell. When you do, the sensor appears at that location and doesn't move. This is literally how you find Dio and win a bunch of your fights in Part 3. I also recommend picking up Hold Monster with that spell you probably didn’t take last level. This spell is like Hold Person without the humanoid requirement, so then you can get critical hits on Dio when you approach him to beat the shit out of him.
You also get your last Eldritch Invocation at this level. Otherworldly Leap lets you cast the Jump spell at will, which triples your jump distance, so you can swing around Egypt like a Joestar version of Spider-Man. Joe-Spider? Spider-Star? Spider-Star.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
You can do pretty consistent damage, with multiple ways to get advantage for Sneak Attack, Divine Smite and ways to paralyze targets to get max damage
You are fairly skilled, and can easily charm or lie your way through a fight or into the audiences’ hearts
You have several movement abilities and spells, and features and what not to make you hard to hit and even harder to damage
Cons:
Most spells you have require concentration, and unlike Jonathan you don’t really have much in the Constitution department
You’re low Constitution also means that if you get hit, you don’t have much in terms of actual hp
Your spell save DC is not capped, and while a 17 DC is good for early and middle game, not so much at level 20
But that’s okay, lie and charm your way into living longer than so many others, take down three immortal gods, and be so many peoples’ favorite Jojo in the series. Just make sure you give your wife some attention and gifts, they do say diamonds are unbreakab-I mean a ladies best friend...what was that about?

Flatten the Curve. Part 87. NSA documents call us Zombies. GHCQ documents pretty much threaten us. This is the System running simulations that manipulate us. Do you trust them? I don't. Get ahead of the curve.

Part 85 here
Alright. Alright. Alright. Let's keep digging further into the rabbit hole of a weaponized simulation being used to manipulate societal behavior by the Technocrat Surveillance State.
First of all. PClick on the link. Take a look. This is what they call us. ZOMBIES Source Here

According to internal NSA documents seen by SPIEGEL, the NSA has focused on accessing smartphone data. In a secret presentation, the agency ironically uses an image from the iconic Apple Macintosh ad aired during 1984 Superbowl, which referenced the George Orwell book "1984." The presentation went on to show Steve Jobs as "Big Brother." The NSA documents indicate that the agency can access a wide variety of iPhone geolocation features and other data.The implication of the presentation is that iPhone users are somehow complicit in their own surveillance by buying iPhones in the first place.

And do you know what you can do with zombies? Click and drop them wherever you want and lead them to where you need them to be. Because zombies really aren't dangerous, despite all the entertainment showing otherwise. They're only dangerous of you don't control the environment around you. If you fall asleep at the wheel. Which is why they're running simulations with Sentient World Simulation and manipulating our behaviour. So how deep does the data gathering go? Really deep.

We're All In This Together

NSA whistleblower Drake says the problem is that both CSEC and the NSA lack proper oversight, and without it, they have morphed into runaway surveillance. "There is a clear and compelling danger to democracy in Canada by virtue of how far these secret surveillance operations have gone." Much of the document contains hyper-sensitive operational details which CBC News has chosen not to make public.Wesley Wark, a Canadian security and intelligence expert at the University of Ottawa, says the document makes it clear Canada can take advantage of its relatively benign image internationally to covertly amass a vast amount of information abroad. Source Here

So we're all part of the same team. The Five Eyes.
So think about it. USA. Canada. Britain. Australia. New Zealand. Our Governments collect all our data and then pump it into a simulation like SEAS, before letting an algorithm do it's thing and shape our incoming data to mold our behaviors. Proof? Sort of. Those massive data centers in Utah aren't there as decoration. We have proof of behavioural manipulating studies done by Facebook. And we also have proof of an extremely advanced simulation. This isn't a leap to say that they use this apparatus against us. Is it?

The NSA and GCHQ have traded recipes for various purposes such as grabbing location data and journey plans that are made when a target uses Google Maps, and vacuuming up address books, buddy lists, phone logs and geographic data embedded in photos posted on the mobile versions of numerous social networks such as Facebook, Flickr, LinkedIn, Twitter and other services. In a separate 20-page report dated 2012, GCHQ cited the popular smartphone game "Angry Birds" as an example of how an application could be used to extract user data. Taken together, such forms of data collection would allow the agencies to collect vital information about a user's life, including his or her home country, current location (through geolocation), age, gender, ZIP code, marital status, income, ethnicity, sexual orientation, education level, number of children, etc. A GCHQ document dated August 2012 provided details of the Squeaky Dolphin surveillance program, which enables GCHQ to conduct broad, real-time monitoring of various social media features and social media traffic such as YouTube video views, the Like button on Facebook, and Blogspot/Blogger visits without the knowledge or consent of the companies providing those social media features. The agency's "Squeaky Dolphin" program can collect, analyze and utilize YouTube, Facebook and Blogger data in specific situations in real time for analysis purposes. The program also collects the addresses from the billions of videos watched daily as well as some user information for analysis purposes.

Whelp. They sure are like an octopus with their tentacles in everything, aren't they? And I do mean everything, isn’t that right Bill get the jab Gates?
Why on earth would they need this data unless they were using it? They wouldn't. Now the problem becomes, how are they using it? Remember, they want to launch the Internet of Things so they can watch everything. Do you know who else watched everything? Jeffery Epstein.

Giuffre adds that Epstein had hidden cameras everywhere in his homes—massage rooms, bedrooms, showers, toilets. “Every single corner of that house was monitored,” she says. “He was watching everyone all the time. This was a blackmail scheme.… When he told me, ‘People owe me favors’ and ‘I will never get caught’ and ‘I can get away with things,’ he meant it.”

Ransome claims that she was raped by Epstein her first night on the island, and continued to be abused by him throughout the trip. With no way to leave, Ransome said that she even “tried to escape”—making her way to a remote part of the island. But Epstein found her “almost immediately.” Ransome said, “I knew then that I was being watched 24/7.” Source Here

That doesn't look good for living in a omnipresent surveillance state does it. And hey, didn't Jeffery hang out with Bill Gates quite a bit?

Microsoft handed the NSA access to encrypted messages • Secret files show scale of Silicon Valley co-operation on Prism • Outlook.com encryption unlocked even before official launch • • Skype worked to enable Prism collection of video calls • Company says it is legally compelled to comply • Material collected through Prism is routinely shared with the FBI and CIA, with one NSA document describing the program as a "team sport". Source Here

Yep. Birds a feather, as they say.
So the material is collected through Prism? So now when they say Prism, I'm pretty sure they mean to indicate a light source on one side and a rainbow coming out the other side, right? Makes sense, doesn't it? And a rainbow is a collection of colors. Hmmmm. I feel like I have a revolutionary thought coming on.
Color revolutions! You know, like the kind that swept the middle east. Isn't that funny? Not really, but you know what I mean. Because these guys love just making it obvious, don't they? Why? Because we're all a bunch of zombies, that's why!
And a funny thing happens when you start to dive into some of the revolutionary protests. You start to see a link between where China increases trade with a country, and right around the same time the protests spontaneously start up!
What a coincidence!
The Egyptian revolution of 2011, also known as the 25 January Revolution (Arabic: ثورة 25 يناير‎; Thawrat khamsa wa-ʿišrūn yanāyir),[21] started on 25 January 2011 and spread across Egypt.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptian_revolution_of_2011
Recognizing that the current trade volume heavily favors China, both sides committed to work to improve Egypt’s share of the balance of trade. The volume of Sino-Egyptian trade reached $8.8 billion in 2011, a 26% increase from 2010. Source Here
I'm only going to give one example, but there are more. These are color revolutions all right, but they're the color of money. Remember, the Sentient World Simulation can simulate over 60 countries at once, and that's what they're willing to tell us. How much do you want to bet the real capacity is beyond top secret?
And what happened in Russia and China im 2011?

The 2011 Chinese pro-democracy protests (simplified Chinese: 中国茉莉花革命; traditional Chinese: 中國茉莉花革命) or (simplified Chinese: 伟大的中华茉莉花革命; traditional Chinese: 偉大的中華茉莉花革命) refers to a series of minor public assemblies at some cities in China starting on 20 February 2011, inspired by and named after the Jasmine Revolution in Tunisia and the wider Arab Spring.

The 2011–2013 Russian protests (which some English language media referred to as the Snow Revolution)[14] began in 2011 (as protests against the 2011 Russian legislative election results) and continued into 2012 and 2013. The protests were motivated by claims by Russian and foreign journalists, political activists and members of the public that the election process was flawed.[15] The Central Election Commission of Russia stated that only 11.5% of official reports of fraud could be confirmed as true.

Revolutions sure became popular all over the planet (and by planet I mean Africa, the Middle East, and Asia) all at once. Yep. They caught the Democracy Virus! They want FREEDOM! They want to be able to leave their countries...uhm, don't we get a lot of Chinese tourists over in North America? Strange. But isn't it a dictatorship that...you know what, never mind. FREEDOM!
Now if I'm right and they're using the internet to manipulate all of us based off of running simulations, it might just put a different spin as to why Russia and China have tried to block the internet into their countries. Just a thought. They wouldn't want their populations being manipulated, would they? Nope.

Beijing has not completely blacked out reporting on the uprising in Egypt. Instead, the Chinese government is funneling coverage of the protests through state-run television and the official Xinhua News Agency. However, the coverage that reaches Chinese citizens focuses primarily on the "lawlessness and anarchy" in Egypt's streets."What they are putting in the foreground is the chaos and the upheaval," Joerg Rudolph, a political scientist at the East Asian Institute of the University of Applied Sciences in Ludwigshafen, told Deutsche Welle. "This way they are showing that it's bad when these kinds of protests happen. We have to preserve stability. It's always the same. Stability has to be preserved and that's always the stability of the ruling elite in the country." Source Here

Oh. China has to preserve the stability of the ruling elite? Gotcha. Sure is a good thing that doesn't happen in North America! Could you imagine having controversial elections, rioting or protests, and then armed soldiers on the street! Thank goodness we have fact checks to save us from fake news!
Here's another strange thing about revolutions. They're all in the eye of the beholder. One man's Revolution is another man's Terrorism. Take Xinjiang and the Uighurs. I'm not saying they don't have re-education camps. They do. China admits it. I will say that I don't know how bad the situation is. But I will also say, middle eastern drones sure do have a lot of collateral damage, don't they? And North America is suddenly starting to get very concerned about domestic terrorism, aren't they? Wait. Isn’t that what China claims to be concerned about in Xinjiang as well? Hmmm. They must be worried about corporations like Apple and Nike being targeted.
Ok. Back on point. Simulations. The internet. Data. Shaping our perception. Molding our behaviors based on a computer program. They input data and then they output information for us to consume. Revolutions? Racial tensions? Apathy. The alarming mimicry online? Yeah. Simulations at work. And guess what? It's going to get worse. Because the more we become connected through the internet of things, the more data they receive, and the more data they receive, the better the simulations become, and the better the simulations become, the more they can exert their influence through programming us with content. It really is becoming very clear why they want 5G rolled out so quickly and why they have such a problem with Huawei, isn't it?
But at least our Surveillance Simulation State is only here for the benefit of Western Society. Right?

Snowden provided journalists at The Intercept with GCHQ documents regarding another secret program "Karma Police", calling itself "the world's biggest" data mining operation, formed to create profiles on every visible Internet user's browsing habits. By 2009 it had stored over 1.1 trillion web browsing sessions, and by 2012 was recording 50 billion sessions per day. The goal of the program, according to the documents, was "either (a) a web browsing profile for every visible user on the internet, or (b) a user profile for every visible website on the internet." *Karma Police was apparently named after the Radiohead song "Karma Police", which includes the lyric "This is what you’ll get when you mess with us". *

So just think. First the EMPLOYEES call us ZOMBIES, and then they use a song title that has the lyrics, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH US. Charming. And then Bill Gates hands the data to the state. And Bill's old pal Epstien loved to use surveillance to find runaway victims to rape. And these are the guys who are funding scientists and research? Scary thought. And what's scarier? How about all the headlines about what the models are showing in regards to the pandemic. Because a model is simply another word for a simulation. And we have evidence for a massive simulation being run. And we have evidence for the Club of Rome simulation being the basis for our current climate crisis decision policies. And we don't need a simulation to start questioning the motives of people who are funding these operations.
Whistleblowers have warned us. We've listened. Now we have to start making other people listen. Because no matter what, the simulations aren't perfect and they can't account for every possible outcome. And that's what each and everyone us are, another possible outcome.
Go viral. Be an outcome.
More soon. Keep your head up and eyes open. Talk soon.

Poor Indigent Stained Sloppy (PISS)

In terms of humans, the United States Army can easily fit ten pounds of shit into a five pound bag. There is no room to swing a cat in the numerous vehicles I have been subjected to enter. Capacity is the objective, and comfort is meaningless. "We're going to pack you into a cattle car, then pack you into an airplane, and then we are going to pack the sky full of Paratroopers! The old life changed after Assessment and Selection, and I found myself flying "White Tail" (Commercial Air) more often than "Gray Tail (Military). However, flying White Tail is not without issues.
My second deployment to Lebanon was "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles." My initial flight out of Baltimore Washington International (BWI) was canceled without notice. It was time to call the Travel Princess who coordinates all our civilian travel.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Travel Princess: Hello
Sloppy: Hey Travel Princess. It's Sloppy. My flight out of BWI was canceled.
Travel Princess: That sucks. Need me to book the same flight tomorrow?
Sloppy: No. I have an engagement tomorrow, and I need to fly tonight.
Travel Princess Magic!
Travel Princess: I just found a flight out of Dulles International Airport (IAD).
Sloppy: When do I fly?
Travel Princess: Three hours!
Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My. Life.
Sloppy: Okay. Looks like I will be...
Travel Princess: Having awkward conversations with a Cab Driver!?!
Sloppy: Exactly.
Travel Princess: I have bad news though!
Sloppy: Excellent. What is it?
Travel Princess: I can't get you a window seat. I got you an aisle seat.
Sloppy: So long as I am on the end and not subjected to two strangers.
Travel Princess: Also, you won't be going through London Heathrow. You'll be traveling through Kuwait City International (KWI).
Sloppy: (Frustrated) AWESOME!
That's how it started. Thankfully, my cab driver was more introverted than I and there was zero conversation during the commute to Washington D.C. Much to my surprise, the new-start of my international travels went swimmingly. Unlike BWI, the Transportation Security Authority (TSA) had little interest in the gadgetry in my suitcase.
Minor Rant
Dear Reader, have you ever been told a "Fact" that you did not know, or believe to be true? I am typically that guy for other people, but Troy was that guy for me. He was a former Troop Sergeants Major, and full of absolutely useless knowledge.
Troy: Did you know you cannot hum while holding your nose?
Sloppy: Bullshit!
Pause
Sloppy: Fuck!

Troy: Did you know bleach expires?
Sloppy: Bleach does not expire.
Troy: Yeah, actually, it does.
Sloppy: You're a fucking idiot. Bleach does not expire.
Troy: Bet you lunch it does?
Sloppy: Deal
Detailed Internet Calculations (DIC)
Sloppy: Fuck. What do you want for lunch?
Dear Reader, there are also the moments in which someone tells you a "Fact," but there is no way to scientifically prove that it is, in deed, factual. My "Army work"was uniquely different than the typical "Army work." There are times in which I travel with equipment that peaks the interest of a TSA Agent. I have no issues providing a mundane overview, but I don't have the time, or the authorization to provide detailed insight. Thus, Airport Security can quickly become a lethargic process.
Troy: Did you know TSA Agents try to avoid inspecting luggage with sex toys?
Sloppy: What?
Troy: Like if you have a giant dildo in your bag. They won't check it.
Sloppy: How in the hell do you know that?
Troy: My buddy. He is a TSA Agent and said he never checks bags with sex toys.
Sloppy: That does not mean this is indicative of all TSA Agents.
Troy: No. Probably not. I know they never check my bag though.
Sloppy: Crazy Eye Glare!?!
Troy: Yup. I travel with a dildo.
Dear Reader, I am certain TSA would check your bag with your dildo was nestled tightly to an object that screamed, "I'm a blast at parties." Simply writing, Troy's advice is by no means backed by substantiated fact, but TSA has never asked me to explain my unique gadgets, or the dildo in my carry-on baggage.
Rant Complete
I am not enthusiastic about aisle seats. I don't particularly care for strangers. I found my seat near the end of the aircraft, and the four seats to my left were empty. They also remained empty when the Captain announced they would be closing the doors, and we would be departing in thirty-minutes. I thought I had just won the lottery. Then I seen a mother, Crib-Midget, and Mini-Human approaching. There were four seats, and only three humans, but I felt that someone had just kicked my puppy.
Dear Reader, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Everything has it's place, and I match everything when I dress. I iron and hand my clothes the day before I wear them. I take great pride in my appearance. My OCD-alarm was pinging when I seen them approach. The Mini-Human was likely around ten years old, and carrying the largest drink Starbucks ever made. They forcefully made their way to their seats, and the Mini-Human plopped down next to me. He set his frou-frou drink down on the flimsy tray-table, and then started jostling around.
I take Tylenol PM as soon as I sit down on an international flight. Sleeping is my way of time traveling. I found myself in a dilemma. My body was telling me to close my eyes and visit the sandman, but my brain was forecasting a catastrophe.
Mini-Human Jostling Around
Sloppy, with the reflexes of a cat and speed of a mongoose, catches the drink as it's about to tip.
Mini-Human: Sorry. Thank you.
Sloppy: No problem.
Second Time
My reflexes are starting to fade, but the cup nearly tips off again as he plays video games on a handheld device.
Mini-Human: Sorry.
Sloppy: No problem. Please just watch it though.
TIME TRAVEL (Thirty-Minutes)
I wake to a very cold sensation on my brand new pants. There was chilled coffee, delicious caramel, and whipped cream all over my crotch area. My facial expressions clearly frightened the Mini-Human, but I knew it was an accident. I told him it was okay. However, I was forced to wait until we got to "cruising altitude" before I made my trip to the bathroom. I was forced to sit and just let the frothy goodness embed it's deliciousness into my outfit.
Cruising Altitude and Failed Un-dirty Clothes (FUC) Sloppy returns to slumber.
I don't recall exactly how long I was sleeping, but I was out-to-the-world. I awoke to a stewardess frantically shaking me, and telling me that I need to address an immediate issue.
Stewardess: Sir. Sir. SIR!
Sloppy: (Groggy) Yeah!
Stewardess: Here. You're baby is crying.
Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My kid is crying.
Sloppy: (Groggy) I'm so sorry.
Sloppy is now holding the last thing anyone should trust him with; another human life.
Sloppy Brain: Wait! Wait! Wait! You don't have a kid. Well, you do, but you don't have a baby, or kid on this flight.
Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am!
Stewardess turns!
Sloppy: This is not my baby. I don't have a baby.
Sloppy motions "HERE! TAKE KID NOW" gesture.
Stewardess: I am sorry, but I can't.
Sloppy: What?
Stewardess: I can't take the baby. Where are the parents?
Sloppy looks at empty aisle seats.
Sloppy Brain: Great! Fucking great. You're dream of an "empty aisle" came true, but know you don't know where the mother of this screaming child is.
Dear Reader, I have a baby cradled in my arm like a football, and I don't know where the endzone is, and spiking a football-sized human is not generally a socially acceptable practice. I need to "Heisman" this kid, but had no earthly idea where the mother was, aside from being on the airplane of course. The plane was a great place to start though.
Contrary to what many people would assume, I love the Middle East (ME), and predominately Muslim countries. I love the food, and I love the people. I have a disdain for Muslims whom initiate the lead jellybean exchange with me, but I would have that problem with Christians and Atheists as well. I generally dislike anyone who wishes to expedite my shelf-life by way of supersonic paper-cuts. There are cultural customs that make finding an absentee parent difficult during an international flight, specifically burkas.
The mother was a "ninja," and wore a head-to-toe black burka. I literally didn't know what she looked like. Further complicating my location effort was the fact that she was not alone. There were at least another hundred ladies that shopped at the same Dooey & Burka store.
Stewardess: What was she wearing?
Sloppy: That!
Looks!
Stewardess: (Puzzled) Is that her!?!
Sloppy (Fuck. My. Life Face) NO! She is wearing a black burka. Aside from that, I don't know what she looks like.
Stewardess: My god! This is gonna be challenging.
The stewardess was firm on her stance of not taking the Crib-Midget, but she thankfully assisted during Operation Find Unattended Kid Mother En-route (FUK ME). We, but mostly me, woke up at least thirty people before finding the mother's ass planted in Business Class. I can only imagine what the other ninja ladies thought when I asked them...
Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Excuse me? Is this your child (Extends human outwards)?
There were a considerable amount of "NO" answers. Worse? Some of the people did not speak English. I wonder what was going through their minds.
Dramatization
Sloppy: English. English English English?
Translation
"Would you like my child?"
"I found this "thing" next to me. Is it yours?"
"Free Baby! Piping hot Free Baby here. Get your Free Baby."
The stewardess had a long conversation with absentee-mother, and she returned to Coach with the rest of the animals. I couldn't see past the eyes, but she looked angry with me. Not only did I rat her out for her stealthy move to Business Class, but I passed off a crying human.
Dear Reader, the rest of the flight was uneventful. The landing and hustle at Kuwait City International was anything but. I was familiar with the layout of the airport, but I was low on time. I had decided to take another attempt at washing my pants. I entered the nearest bathroom and found a line of men, and they were all washing their feet in the sink.
I get it. I understand why they were doing it, but there is no "wait in line" in the Middle East. You, like an asshole, push your way to the front and skip everyone else in line. It's "a way" in the United States, but is not "the way" most Americans practice "wait in line." I got sick of standing in line after about ten men budged. It was my turn.
Sloppy: Excuse me. I was in front of you, and I am going to...
He looks me up-and-down, and then it happened.
Male: At least I didn't piss my pants.
It was perfect English, but I didn't have the time to explain that I didn't piss myself. I just rolled with it. The second cleaning attempt was just as fruitless as the first cleaning attempt. The only thing that made my trip better was chaos in Beirut International (BEY). I arrived, and managed to beat the rush through customs. I was then greeted by a nearly seven foot tall giant named Jimmy.
Jimmy: Whoa! Did you piss your pants?
Sloppy: Not yet. Long story. I have to piss before we roll.
I was more than familiar with the layout of this particular airport, but I was paralyzed with piss-pain. I could barely walk, let alone run, to the bathroom.
Jimmy: Ahh. I will go hold up the line.
It was an odd statement. I was not certain how Jimmy would, "hold up the line," but I would soon find out. The bathroom at Beirut International is immediately to the right after you depart customs. However, it's the size of a small closet. There are two urinals, and one toilet stall. The spacing between the urinal and opposite wall is no more than four feet though. Again, think long, but narrow closet.
I continue the agonizing pee walk and I am a bit disappointed when I see a large line forming near the bathroom. There was "loud chatter" that I didn't understand, and some clearly disgruntled humans. I rounded the corner and nearly pissed myself. Jimmy was in deed "holding up the line." Jimmy's back was firmly planted on the wall to the right, and a flowing stream of yellow piss was arcing across the room, and landing in the urinal to the left. Jimmy was peeing from wall-to-wall. Nobody was going past urinal number one without receiving a golden shower.
Jimmy: (Smile) I got you man. Come in. I'll pinch her off.
Sloppy, like Moses (Kind of) parts pee stream and proceeds to second urinal.
I take a look to the left to get a glimpse of the chaotic line at the entrance. There were loud grumbles of displeasure, but, then I seen an old man. The old man was at least 70 years or older, and his face went from scowl, an onto smile. He then started to clap and I congratulate Jimmy's technique.
Old Man: (Laughing with Arabic Accent) Bravo. Bravo.
Sloppy: That was fucking brilliant.
Jimmy: Yeah. Didn't think you wanted to wait in line. Pulling out a gun would have been too much, so I figure peeing across the room would work.
Sloppy: Good to know for the next time.
That's that Dear Reader. Not an ordinary Military tale, but it was the oddest Military travel tale I have had. I "pissed my pants" with coffee, which ruined them. I was handed a baby that was not mine, and then forced to conduct a Ninja-hunt. I was accused of pissing my pants by men who were washing their feet in sinks. I was then accused of pissing my pants by Jimmy, and then Jimmy saved the day with four feet of arc pissing that was superbly executed. I'd like to thank the Army for this tale, because I don't know if Joe Civilian has experiences like this. Fucking Army!

Cheers,
Sloppy

Something’s Going On 0.2: Freemasonry

Something’s Going On 0.2: Freemasonry
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It has come to my attention that progression in the study of esoteric topics is largely halted by a few long-standing misconceptions regarding a smattering of well known cases.
These misconceptions can lead budding researchers of truth to become stuck in ideological pig pens and remain there sometimes until their death.
The culture I speak of is what leads initially young and innocent hunters of truth to become stereotypical “Bigfoot hunters” or “Spiritual Healers” and is, in my humble opinion, halting a large amount of progression within the field.

So to that effect I have put together a few of the common “falsehoods” I see shopped around subs of this nature and have detailed the objective truth. I intend for each of these paragraphs to be used as copy pastas to be copy and pasted into any thread you see shopping around this nonsense that has the entire community bogged down and confused.

So feel free to share around where you see appropriate.

So without further ado, let’s find some blinds, quash some myths and find out what the hell is (really) going on.

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Puppet Masters of The New World Order or Disheveled Ageing White Men Debating Morals?
———————————————————————-

Whenever you see a conspiracy you can bet your bottom dollar at some point somebody is going to pin it on the Freemasons.
Satanic blood rituals, secret handshakes and global child trafficking; the Masons have it it all levelled against them.
But then why does every major city in the UK and US have a Masonic Lodge?
Why can numerous celebrities be seen with pin and compass badges and other Masonic iconography?
And
Why, whenever any talk of political conspiracy occurs in the mainstream media are the Masons the immediate scapegoat?
This and more will be covered in today’s winter instalment of Something’s Going On.
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Roots, Origins and Ideology
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The foundation of Freemasonry lies within the story of King Solomon and the first Jewish Temple.
The first temple was a significant step forward in humanities path to living in an organised, moral manner. The antediluvian epoch was a savage wasteland filled with megafauna and genetic monstrosities that influenced the way that man lived. Beast like tendencies plagued our collective psyche leading to practices like cannibalism, murder and rape becoming common places amongst the creatures placed upon the Earth.
Hence global cataclysmic flooding to wipe the slate clean.
Without getting too biblical regarding our oppressive lord, we know that global flooding did possibly occur akin to the Thea Eruption which may have led to the allegorical tale of Atlantis documenting this wicked time in humanities annals.
The subsequent patriarchs and prophets taught with this previous iteration of society) in mind which eventually leads to a need for structure and organisation within society to curb the rise of the aforementioned sinful practices.
Tales like Lot in Sodom (named appropriately for the activities that occurred there) and Gomorrah, the concept of a Blood Libel and worship of (g)ods such as Ba’al or Moloch all speak to in allegory to this effort to raise humanity out of the moral cess-pit we were residing in.
This is the historical subtext to which the first Masons built the first temple under the order of King Solomon. They understood that a society with a focal centre point for the advancement of the human spirit and therefore human advancement was essential if we were to move past our animal relatives up the so called food chain.
The first Masons can also be attributed to advancing water travel around the period of the first temple along the River Nile. Again the fraternity in its infancy already understood what it meant for humans to travel across long bodies of water to discover new lands and resources.
This is the attitude of most RHP or Whitefraternal organisations, so where has the ambiguity surrounding their moral fibre in the modern age come from?

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The Handing Down of Knowledge
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Moving out of historical uncertainty, the earliest notion of a modern lodge as it looks today appears in 1390 and take the form of a esoteric document known as “The Old Charges” taken from a larger manuscript known as “The Regius Poem” or “The Halliwell Manuscript”.
The document concerns the moral pillars of the organisation which stem from the aforementioned first temple and concern Euclid’s take on geometry. It speaks of the Legend of The Craft and how it has traveled from Egypt to Britain over many centuries influencing Barons, Bishops and Monarchs along the way.
Then artefact then goes on to speak of the moral fibre of the organisation and its principals. It speaks mostly of serving others whilst taking no pride or prejudice in your work and also the importance of having confidence in ones vision, identifying doubt as the enemy of creation.
It is obviously a creation of the Roman Catholic Church as it mirrors the Ten Commandments quite closely and postulates similar values as the Church such as not working on the Sabbath and not taking the Lord’s name in vain.
Several Biblical tales are referenced in the document such as Noah’s flood, The Tower of Babel and King Nebuchadnezzar.
The idea is that Euclid knew the secrets of the construction of the Tower of Babel (which is described in the good book as humanities attempt to climb to God and is the reason for humanity speaking in many different languages, to stop the construction of such a Tower again).
This is entire foundation of Freemasonry, to build a connection with God despite our differing cultures and races.
So why the hell did all the negative connotations come from?
To discover how masonry has gained the reputation it holds today we must look to the ancient practice of Alchemy.
Along with Geometry, Alchemy is an ancient method of turning a trash metal into a precious one.Any average (normie) person will quickly let you know that the concept of turning steel into gold is ludicrous and was a fanciful daydream of some of the worlds greatest minds that was nothing but a preoccupation whilst the worked in their greatest achievements.

Something something baby, something something bath water....

Alchemy also concerned itself with the construction of a device called the Philosophers Stone.
A small rock or stone that apparently gave anybody that possessed it the power of immortality. We all remember a certain Professor Quirrel and his attempts to make such a stone in the seminal children’s novel “Harry Potter & The Philosophers Stone” but everybody seemed to focus on the physicality of the stone and not what old Voldemort was actually trying to achieve.
Philosophers by definition are concerned with matters of thought not physical matter.
Even in the ever more controversial Joanna Rowling’s book, the stone is fathomed by an alchemist/philosopher called Nicholas Flamel (real man btw), who actually decides to give up the power of immortality after realising that being bound to the physical world is not as desirable as once thought much like winning the lottery only to find out that physical possessions cannot make you ultimately happy.
This right here is the important distinction that plagues all matters under the bracket of alchemy and esoteric matters in general.
The average joe scoffs at the foolish alchemist boiling his urine to distill small amounts of DMT.
“Ha, what a fool! Everyone knows you cannot turn base metal into gold! Probably inhaled too much frankincense and opium poor sod”
But in fact, it is the punter that has missed the allegory.
Again with that damn baby and the aforementioned bathwater.
The transmutation of something worthless into something precious is a metaphor for the outside of truth and illumination of the mind.
I reiterate, the idea that a philosopher would be concerned with matters of the physical is laughable by definition.
But by purifying ones soul, THAT is the key to immortality.
That is the big secret of these fraternal groups.
They distract you with spooky imagery because the reality of the situation is rather simple.
Hence all those winking eyes.
That’s why the majority of Masonry’s doctrine concerns morals.
In finding a sustainable way to live each person can make their individual mark on society and therefore achieve what the ancient Egyptians called KA.)
So this is the point of it all, where did it go wrong?

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Schisms and Lodges
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Fraternal societies gather as a lodge inside of a Masonic Temple.
Your city will have one, Google it.
They are organised in a manner that is allegorical to the holy land with certain areas on accessible by certain members that rank higher than others, this pertains to a map of the Holy Land with the back of lodge being correspondent to Babylonia, the dark land where the original knowledge and fall of man were conceived. Therefore only secretary may enter that part of the lodge.
There are many distinctions like this that run through theses groups to make an allegorical connection to the holy land.
This is due to the fact that we (the western world) are no longer in the holy land. What I mean to say is that the establishment of the Roman Empire was a direct result of The Crusades.
The Knights Hospitaller and subsequent group the Knights Templar both were set up as last bastions of Judaism/Christianity in the holy land. Pilgrims would travel from Europe to the Jerusalem Hospital as basically intelligence agents as a result of what we can call the first schism.
schism skĭz′əm, sĭz′-► n. A separation or division into factions. n. A formal breach of union within a religious body, especially a Christian church
This word is incredibly important.
It speaks to the breakdown of an organisations ideology and the creation of two new entities as a result.
The earliest example of this may be the limitless god splitting himself into pieces as a result of boredom(?).)
It also seems to occur whenever humans get together in small to large groups. It is for this reason that the landscape of esotericism is so confusing.
You have to pursue several thousand years of schisms whilst paying attention to the idea logic differentiation between each newly resulting group that is created.
Only then can one see the whole picture and distinctions that each group attempt to make.
This page from Carroll’s Liber Null may help explain what I am getting at.
The Crusades are a blanket term for a mass schism concerning the rise of Islam in a predominantly Jewish and Christian community. Whilst the above moved into Italy and Europe (surrounding themselves by large walls to assure this didn't happen again), the Arabs collected the left over mysticism left by the old guard and developed it into what is known as Sufism.
Esoteric Islam.
They are the propagators of alchemy and much of their literature is yet to be understood by the Western World at large.
It is in these old Islamic books you will find the root of true alchemy.
This explains why alchemy has the controversial reputation it currently has in western culture, knowledge of such schism also speak for the mass slandering of Islam’s image in the western world although that is another story for another day. (and just wait till you find out who the Catholic Church's Baphomet actually is!)

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THE BOTTOM LINE: Let’s All Go To The Lobby
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In the interest of clarity I intend to keep this short and sweet in its scope. My intention is to get across to the budding truth hunters that coming across the mention of Freemasonry does not in anyway imply malevolence.
Freemasonry is largest fraternal group on the planet.
Your uncle could be one but so could the president. That does not mean that your uncle is evil or for that matter it doesn’t not mean the president is evil either.
It simply means that they have an interest in pushing society forward towards a stronger connection with a divine intelligence.
The smaller the group the higher the chances are for malevolence simply due to the fact that a schism is less likely to break out.
Small numbers are easier to organise than a large crowd all with differing opinions.
Joining freemasonry is akin to entering the lobby of the esoteric world. From that standpoint you can choose to view many different ideologies and small groups.
It is at that level which the malevolence which is ultimately pinned entirely on Freemasonry occurs.
Although a masonic temples may sport a checkerboard floor, everyday reality is not black and white. It is a murky ambiguous colour that negates definition and at its most basic level, masonry is a relatively benign method to clarify and navigate through that cess pit (chessboard) and once one mills this idea over it becomes apparent that we can put to rest this ongoing misconception that Freemasonry is the big bad boogeyman that is responsible for the Illuminati and all world corruption.
The unfortunate reality is that it is a lot more complicated than that.

Don’t end up like this guy :)

unme

the astral tramp ;)

Astronomical method selected

Looking at Bravely Default II Names for the Hell of it

Personal opinions about the statements that were made on the Crackdown

I am a fan of Thorin’s youtube channel and have followed his content for about 3 years. Although I have enjoyed his content and rather aggressive style of leading talk shows, his recent statements in the Crackdown made me very disappointed. I am Korean, but I do speak some English and like to watch Western LOL, and any content that is related to it (For broadcasts, I personally watch LCK in English rather in Korean because I like the English channel's casting style more)
In this episode of the Crackdown, Thorin has stated his biased opinions about South Korea and Asians as if they were facts and he is some kind of accuser, but Korean culture is far from what he has described.
Thorin said that Korean don’t fuck with Gays, and that is one of the main reasons why LS was hated by the T1 fans. Yes, some people genuinely express hatred against gays, but that happens everywhere else in the world as well, (Believe there were way more hate crimes in the US and UK). However, our society is trying its best to embrace homosexuality, so if one person expresses that he hates homosexuals, he will most likely be regarded as very uncivilized and rude.
People didn’t hate LS for being gay. Actually they didn’t know he was gay. To be correct, 90 percent or more of the Korean fans didn’t know who LS was, and even the ones that knew LS existed, knew him from a very unpleasant incident with Malice and BBQ. So, I have to say that Thorin’s opinion that LS was kicked because he is gay has little to no persuasive powers.
It seems like the members of the Crackdown don’t get why T1 fans didn’t like LS. So, I‘ll give you an example. G2 is currently the most prestigious EU LOL team for the last couple of years, and Grabbz, their coach is regarded as one of the best coaches in Europe. Lets say that one day, Grabbz got fired. In his place, came a Warcraft player who had multiple titles but is gold tier in LOL. With him, came a Korean LOL caster who is said that he has some controversial knowledge about the game. That Korean coach is known for defending a player who called German women on tinder whores and sluts. Oh, forgot to mention that player also called Hjarnan to quit pro and go to fucking Ikea and make meatballs. Genuinely, will G2 fans just sit down and say “Hmmm.... this makes absolutely no sense but I believe in Carlos, so go G2!“. No its not homophobia and racism against LS, its all of the circumstances mixed up. If a Korean guy who is not gay, with the same with LS resume came to T1, he would have been fired as well.
Thorin also made very prejudiced comments about Korean language and culture.
He got it almost entirely wrong. Most of our population don’t believe in Christianity, and our culture is based in Confucianism. Same for China and Japan. Yes, our social system is much more strict than the ones in western Countries, but it is not as extreme as Thorin’s statements. If he can’t distinguish Christianity and Confucianism, I highly doubt that he has a valid idea about this country. Geez, would you take information about Spain from a man who claims it is a Buddhist country? This information is so absurd
I typed the words that Thorin said in his podcast

The problem is this, when they speak like that as a constant distance .
But when you have the informal language it's like a family unit.
What these young fans do they take them in their mind and mentally adopt them as a family member not they think of him as a brilliant in singing, soccer or league of legend but think of him as a family member. That's the reason why the would all say like "I must protect him, I would not allow them to get him, kill the enemies of him"

This is so absurd and racist. We speak informal words with our colleagues, fellow students and basically people who are around our ages. I spoke informally with all the students who were in the same school year as me. Does that mean that I regard those 300 guys as my family? Absolutely not. To my parents, I speak informally with them most of the time. Does that mean I don’t regard them as family? Absolutely not. Yes, language does show manners and social hierarchy, but would you people speak to your teacher as if he/she is your friend in the pub? Have some common sense. I’ll give another example. French nouns are divided by genders. If I say that because of this, French speaking societies are divided by gender and because of that, they continuously have gender related problems, would that be a valid statement?

Also, with the Racism. Yes, there are certain parts of the society that are racist. But 90 percent of the time, being white in Korea will benefit you. Ask Mr. Malice. He called that having tinder in Korea is an All You Can Eat Buffet. People will volunteer to speak English while talking to a foreigner, and will try to give you the best possible impression about Korea to you if you are white. Look at the instance with YamatoCannon (He is arabic but you get the point). People loved the signing. Even if he was a foreigner, He knocked GEN.G out of worlds, and had a great history of coaching. When he signed, there were instant memes with him on the Korean community, calling him blue eyed Cvmax. When Sandbox got better, he was praised so much. He instantly became one of the most popular coaches in Korea. As a T1 fan, if YamatoCannon came to the Org, I would have welcomed him. Most of the Korean Fans would have as well.

About the death threats in Korea. Korea is much more safer than almost all of the Countries around the world. Belgium, where Bwipo came from, has a homicide rate 3 times higher than South Korea. Of course, if LS is getting real death threats, the people who are writing them should all be arrested. But Dom and other people worrying about LS’s safety is absurd. I’ll bet my money on that Dom has a higher percentage of dying while walking into a drug store and getting shot by a random guy than LS actually getting killed by a group of T1 fans. About people harassing LS’s grandmother, I don’t see this as an genuine possibility. A T1 Korean fan base that mostly don’t speak fluent English, who didn’t know about the existence of LS, suddenly harassing LS’s grandmother? Guys, we’re just a bunch of Asian dudes watching LOL, not the Triad killing people with their hand axes.

The Crackdown is only causing more conflict between Korean and western fans. IWD and Thorin are calling the Korean community racist, but in the contexts of explaining why Koreans are racist, they are being racist themselves.
Lastly, T1 is SKT. T1 comes from the name SKT T1. It is mostly owned by SKT and Koreans, and their HQ is in the heart of Seoul. Yes, T1 does not have most of the members when it was at its prime. But Faker, the symbol of SKT, the most key member still plays for T1. Do not ever try to weaken the links between them. The team itself is a symbol of Korean E-sports and Korean LOL. From teenagers who watch LOL to some middle aged men who loved Starcraft, SKT and T1 have a special meaning to them. So what are you to declare that SKT is no more? If I were to say that IWD is merely a streamer and his pro career absolutely means nothing, then deny all credits that were given to him being a pro, would Dom not be mad at it?

There is a reason why fans hated LS and a T1 coach. Personally, I believe that LS deserved a chance. Him losing his job is very sad and people did him wrong. But don't just say that this is because of racism and homophobia, because there is much more to it than that. Also, don't use this as an opportunity to shit on Korean culture, language and etc.

All the ways you can say Elizabeth!

(Might be worth noting this post is my first post on Reddit. I’ve commented using an old, long-lost account, but I’ve never made my own real life Reddit post. So, apologies for weirdness, or unspoken Reddit-rules I’ve broken! Formatting is also a little confusing...)
I recall recently seeing a post about how Isabelle and Elizabeth are the same name. Then, while looking for posts right here on namenerds about the name Lily, I was reminded Lily is sometimes a nickname for Elizabeth. I love etymology—name etymology, in particular—and I know there are loads of different variations for this one popular, classic, and quite beautiful name, so I thought I’d collect them all! Starting with the original Hebrew form and some silly, name-nerdy facts.
‘Elisheva’ • Elizabeth ultimately comes from Elisabet, the Greek form of ‘Elisheva’. ‘Elisheva’ is a Hebrew name meaning “my God is an oath”, derived from the roots ‘el referring to the Hebrew God (Ariel, Daniel, Elijah, Gabriel, Michael, Nathanael, Samuel...) and shava’ meaning “oath”. Obviously, this is the name (and its roots) written in the Latin/English alphabet; if you visit the page for Elizabeth on Behind the Name, you can see the name in its original Hebrew form.
Elisheba appears in the Old Testament, where she’s the wife of Aaron, making her the sister-in-law of Moses. Elizabeth appears in the New Testament, where she’s the mother of John the Baptist with her husband Zechariah; and, interestingly, the Gospel of Luke records that both Zechariah and Elizabeth are descendants of Aaron and Elisheba. There have been thirty-nine Queen Consort Elizabeths, ten Princess Elizabeths, seven Saint Elizabeths, six Empress Elizabeths, two Queen Regnant Elizabeths, two Countess Elizabeths, and a Duchess Elizabeth. The current Queen of the United Kingdom is Elizabeth II; a woman who is ninety-four years old and has been reigning for sixty-eight years. She’s the longest-lived and longest-reigning British monarch, the longest-serving female head of state in world history, and the world’s oldest living monarch, longest-reigning current monarch, and oldest and longest-serving current head of state.
In 1880, Elizabeth held the #4 spot on the United States popularity chart; in 2018, one-hundred and thirty-eight years later, Elizabeth held the #13 spot on the United States popularity chart. Since 1880 at the very least, Elizabeth has consistently been in the Top 100; in fact, it’s consistently been in the Top 30. It’s obviously had similar popularity in Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom. This isn’t accounting for variations of the name—like Isabella, which has been popular in the States lately—or diminutive forms that have become given names in their own rights.
Now, the many, many forms in many, many languages of Elizabeth! All of this information comes from Behind the Name’s page for Elizabeth as well as Wikipedia’s page for Elizabeth. Apologies in advance for any misspellings or weird formatting; there’s a lot of ways to say Elizabeth, apparently! (There were also Chinese, Japanese, and Korean, as well as Bengali, Hindi, Gujarati, Kannada, Marathi, Mongolian, Nepali, Persian, Punjabi, Tamil, Telugu, Thai, Urdu, and Yiddish forms on the Wikipedia page for Elizabeth; some of them didn’t have the name written in the Latin/English alphabet and others seemed more like... literal translations, rather than names in genuine use? I didn’t feel entirely comfortable listing them here without someone with a bit more knowledge confirming “Yup, accurate translations!” at the very least. So, if someone wants to confirm them, I’ll gladly add them in!) In the event any of these names are incorrect or misspelled, or you know of a Elizabeth-variant or an Elizabeth-nickname not listed in the right place or not listed at all, let me know and I’ll fix it or add it in!
Arabic: Ilīšaba, Ilīṣābāt.
Armenian: Elsabet, Yeghisabet. Diminutives: Zabel.
Basque: Elixabete.
Belarusian: Alžbieta.
Biblical: Elisabeth, Elisheba, Elizabeth.
Biblical Greek: Elisabet.
Biblical Hebrew: Elisheva.
Biblical Latin: Elisabeth.
Breton: Elesbed.
Bulgarian: Elisaveta, Elizabet.
Catalan: Elisabet.
Coptic: Ilisabek.
Croation: Elizabeta. Diminutives: Ela.
Czech: Alžběta, Eliška.
Danish: Elisabet, Elisabeth, Elsebet, Isabella. Diminutives: Eli, Elise, Ella, Else, Lilly, Lis, Lisa, Lisbet, Lise, Lissi.
Dutch: Elisabeth, Elsbeth, Elizabeth, Elzbeth, Isabeau, Isabella, Isabelle, Izabeau, Izabella, Izabelle, Liesbeth, Lijsbeth. Diminutives: Betje, Betsie, Bettie, Bettina, Elise, Elly, Els, Else, Elsje, Elske, Elze, Ilse, Isa, Lies, Liese, Liesje, Lisa, Liset, Lisette, Liza, Lize, Lizet.
English: Elesabeth, Elisabeth, Elisabetha, Elisebeta, Elizabella, Elizabeta, Elizabeth, Elizabetta, Elizaveta, Elsabeth, Elyzabeth, Elzbieta, Isabel, Isabella, Isabelle, Isbel, Isebella, Isobel, Izabelle, Lisabeth, Lisabetha, Lizabeth. Diminutives: Abet, Babette, Basil, Baz, Bella, Belle, Bert, Bess, Bessie, Beth, Betsy, Bette, Bettie, Betty, Bettye, Billie, Billy, Birdie, Bitsy, Biz, Bizzy, Buffy, Busy, Ebba, Effie, Effy, Eli, Elisa, Elise, Elissa, Eliza, Ella, Elle, Ellie, Elly, Elsa, Elsie, Elyse, Etta, Ibbie, Issy, Izzie, Izzy, Leanna, Leesa, Leta, Lettie, Liana, Liba, Libba, Libbeth, Libbie, Libby, Liddy, Lilian, Liliana, Lilianna, Lilibet, Lilibit, Lilibeth, Lillabet, Lillia, Lillian, Lilliana, Lillibut, Lilly, Lily, Lisa, Lise, Lisette, Liz, Liza, Lizard, Lizbeth, Lizette, Lizzie, Lizzy, Lolly, Lollie, Lysette, Sabella, Sissy, Tess, Tetty, Thea, Tibby, Zab, Zea, Zel, Zellie, Zibby, Zizi.
Esperanto: Elizabeto.
Estonian: Eliisabet. Diminutives: Eliisa, Ell, Ella, Liis, Liisa, Liisbet, Liisi, Liisu.
Finnish: Elisabet. Diminutives: Eliisa Elisa, Ella, Elsa, Iisa, Liisa, Liisi.
French: Élisabeth, Isabeau, Isabel, Isabelle. Diminutives: Babette, Élise, Lili, Liliane, Lilianne, Lise, Lisette.
Frisian: Diminutives: Bet, Lys.
Galician: Diminutives: Sabela.
Georgian: Elisabed. Diminutives: Eliso.
German: Elisabeth, Isabel, Isabell, Isabella, Isabelle. Diminutives: Babette, Bettina, Elisa, Elise, Elli, Elsa, Else, Ilsa, Ilse, Isa, Lies, Liesa, Liese, Liesel, Liesl, Lili, Lilli, Lisa, Lisbeth.
Greek: Elisavet.
Hawaiian: Elikapeka.
Hebrew: Elisheva.
Hungarian: Elizabet, Erzsébet, Izabella. Diminutives: Bettina, Bözsi, Erzsi, Lili, Liliána, Lilien, Zsóka.
Icelandic: Elísabet, Elsebet. Diminutives: Elsa.
Irish: Eilís, Eilish, Isibéal. Diminutives: Sibéal.
Italian: Elisabetta, Isabella. Diminutives: Bettina, Elisa, Elsa, Isa, Liana, Liliana, Lisa.
Latvian: Elizabete. Diminutives: Elīza.
Limburgish: Diminutives: Bet, Betje.
Lithuanian: Elžbieta, Elzbute. Diminutives: Elzė.
Macedonian: Elisaveta. Diminutives: Beti, Veta.
Malayalam: Diminutives: Aleyamma, Eliamma.
Manx: Ealisaid.
Māori: Irihāpeti.
Medieval English: Diminutives: Ibb.
Medieval French: Isabeau.
Medieval Occitan: Isabel.
Norwegian: Elisabet, Elisabeth, Elsebet, Isabella. Diminutives: Eli, Elise, Ella, Else, Lilly, Lis, Lisa, Lisbet, Lise, Liss.
Occitan: Isabèl.
Old Church Slavic: Elisabeti.
Polish: Elżbieta, Halżbieta, Izabela, Izabella. Diminutives: Bietka, Ela, Elcia, Eliza, Elka, Elusia, Elunia, Elżunia, Halszka, Iza, Liliana, Lilianna.
Portuguese: Elisabete, Elizabete, Isabel, Isabela. Diminutives: Bé, Bebel, Becas, Belinha, Belita, Betina, Elisa, Isa, Isabelinha, Liana, Lilía, Liliana, Lisete, Marisa, Mariza.
Portuguese (Brazilian): Izabel. Diminutives: Bebel, Bete, Beti, Beth, Eliza, Lílian, Lisa, Liza.
Romanian: Elisabeta, Isabela, Isabella. Diminutives: Liana, Liliana.
Russian: Elizaveta, Yelizaveta, Yelyzaveta. Diminutives: Liza, Lizaveta.
Scots: Elsbeth, Elspeth, Ishbel, Isobel.
Scottish: Ealasaid, Iseabail. Diminutives: Beileag, Lileas, Lilias, Lillias.
Serbian: Jelisaveta. Diminutives: Ela, Jela, Jelica.
Slovak: Alžbeta. Diminutives: Eliška.
Slovene: Elizabeta. Diminutives: Ela, Špela.
Spanish: Elisabet, Isabel, Isabela, Ysabel. Diminutives: Chabela, Eli, Elisa, Isa, Liliana.
Swedish: Elisabet, Elisabeth, Elsebet, Isabella. Diminutives: Elise, Ella, Elsa, Lilly, Lis, Lisa, Lisbet, Lise.
Ukrainian: Yelysaveta, Yelyzaveta.
Vietnamese: Êlizabét.
Welsh: Diminutives: Bethan.
So, what’s your favorite way to say Elizabeth?
EDIT 1: formatting on Reddit is so confusing...
EDIT 2: added some missing names! And, thanks for the silver! :)
EDIT 3: added some, removed one!
EDIT 4: added some, removed some, you know the deal. Thanks to everyone whose corrected me and added more names to the list! This has been fun. :)
EDIT 5: I goofed and combined Scots and Scottish. I’ve corrected that to the best of my ability (there’s no Scots that I could find on Behind the Name, so I based the changes on Wikipedia’s page for Elizabeth, and left all diminutives except Ishbel under Scottish since I could only confirm Beileag’s proper placement) but I’m not certain it’s 100%!
EDIT 6: I added even more! There almost definitely tons of variants not listed here, not to mention the many nicknames possibilities. I think I should also add that some of these forms might be archaic/uncommon, but if even one person mention seeing it in use in their respective language/culture, I think it’s worthwhile to add. Don’t take this as a 100% authority on the “right” or even most common way to say Elizabeth in any particular culture/language/country!
EDIT 7: so... many...
EDIT 8: added some more. Now, I would be more surprised to hear I hadn’t missed any, but I’m going to let this be the last edit. So, to anyone just now finding this post whenever, check the comments! Might be some more variants and nicknames hiding down in there.

Poor Indigent Stained Sloppy (PISS) Story

Before I get to the story, I'd like to ask you FUckers to head over to MilitaryStories and vote for u/itsallalittleblurry. The man is a masterful storyteller. I use "fuck" a lot, and say some pretty inappropriate things. Why can't you fool a fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday. See? Grossly inappropriate. Not Blurry though. I feel like I am listening to my father or grandfather, and I always find myself plopping my ass down and listening to the masterfully relayed stories. Again, Please vote for Blurry in 2020. It could very well be the only great thing about 2020.
Rant Complete!
In terms of humans, the United States Army can easily fit ten pounds of shit into a five pound bag. There is no room to swing a cat in the numerous vehicles I have been subjected to enter. Capacity is the objective, and comfort is meaningless. "We're going to pack you into a cattle car, then pack you into an airplane, and then we are going to pack the sky full of Paratroopers! The old life changed after Assessment and Selection, and I found myself flying "White Tail" (Commercial Air) more often than "Gray Tail (Military). However, flying White Tail is not without issues.
My second deployment to Lebanon was "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles." My initial flight out of Baltimore Washington International (BWI) was canceled without notice. It was time to call the Travel Princess who coordinates all our civilian travel.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Travel Princess: Hello
Sloppy: Hey Travel Princess. It's Sloppy. My flight out of BWI was canceled.
Travel Princess: That sucks. Need me to book the same flight tomorrow?
Sloppy: No. I have an engagement tomorrow, and I need to fly tonight.
Travel Princess Magic!
Travel Princess: I just found a flight out of Dulles International Airport (IAD).
Sloppy: When do I fly?
Travel Princess: Three hours!
Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My. Life.
Sloppy: Okay. Looks like I will be...
Travel Princess: Having awkward conversations with a Cab Driver!?!
Sloppy: Exactly.
Travel Princess: I have bad news though!
Sloppy: Excellent. What is it?
Travel Princess: I can't get you a window seat. I got you an aisle seat.
Sloppy: So long as I am on the end and no subjected to two strangers.
Travel Princess: Also, you won't be going through London Heathrow. You'll be traveling through Kuwait City International (KWI).
Sloppy: (Frustrated) AWESOME!
That's how it started. Thankfully, my cab driver was more introverted than I and there was zero conversation during the commute to Washington D.C. Much to my surprise, the new-start of my international travels went swimmingly. Unlike BWI, the Transportation Security Authority (TSA) had little interest in the gadgetry in my suitcase.
Minor Rant
Dear Reader, have you ever been told a "Fact" that you did not know, or believe to be true? I am typically that guy for other people, but Troy was that guy for me. He was a former Troop Sergeants Major, and full of absolutely useless knowledge.
Troy: Did you know you cannot hum while holding your nose?
Sloppy: Bullshit!
Pause
Sloppy: Fuck!
Troy: Did you know bleach expires?
Sloppy: Bleach does not expire.
Troy: Yeah, actually, it does.
Sloppy: You're a fucking idiot. Bleach does not expire.
Troy: Bet you lunch it does?
Sloppy: Deal
Detailed Internet Calculations (DIC)
Sloppy: Fuck. What do you want for lunch?
Dear Reader, there are also the moments in which someone tells you a "Fact," but there is no way to scientifically prove that it is, in deed, factual. My "Army work"was uniquely different than the typical "Army work." There are times in which I travel with equipment that peaks the interest of a TSA Agent. I have no issues providing a mundane overview, but I don't have the time, or the authorization to provide detailed insight. Thus, Airport Security can quickly become a lethargic process.
Troy: Did you know TSA Agents try to avoid inspecting luggage with sex toys?
Sloppy: What?
Troy: Like if you have a giant dildo in your bag. They won't check it.
Sloppy: How in the hell do you know that?
Troy: My buddy. He is a TSA Agent and said he never checks bags with sex toys.
Sloppy: That does not mean this is indicative of all TSA Agents.
Troy: No. Probably not. I know they never check my bag though.
Sloppy: Crazy Eye Glare!?!
Troy: Yup. I travel with a dildo.
Dear Reader, I am certain TSA would check your bag with your dildo was nestled tightly to an object that screamed, "I'm a blast at parties." Simply writing, Troy's advice is by no means backed by substantiated fact, but TSA has never asked me to explain my unique gadgets, or the dildo in my carry-on baggage.
Rant Complete
I am not enthusiastic about aisle seats. I don't particularly care for strangers. I found my seat near the end of the aircraft, and the four seats to my left were empty. They also remained empty when the Captain announced they would be closing the doors, and we would be departing in thirty-minutes. I thought I had just won the lottery. Then I seen a mother, Crib-Midget, and Mini-Human approaching. There were four seats, and only three humans, but I felt that someone had just kicked my puppy.
Dear Reader, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Everything has it's place, and I match everything when I dress. I iron and hand my clothes the day before I wear them. I take great pride in my appearance. My OCD-alarm was pinging when I seen them approach. The Mini-Human was likely around ten years old, and carrying the largest drink Starbucks ever made. They forcefully made their way to their seats, and the Mini-Human plopped down next to me. He set his frou-frou drink down on the flimsy tray-table, and then started jostling around.
I take Tylenol PM as soon as I sit down on an international flight. Sleeping is my way of time traveling. I found myself in a dilemma. My body was telling me to close my eyes and visit the sandman, but my brain was forecasting a catastrophe.
Mini-Human Jostling Around
Sloppy, with the reflexes of a cat and speed of a mongoose, catches the drink as it's about to tip.
Mini-Human: Sorry. Thank you.
Sloppy: No problem.
Second Time
My reflexes are starting to fade, but the cup nearly tips off again as he plays video games on a handheld device.
Mini-Human: Sorry.
Sloppy: No problem. Please just watch it though.
TIME TRAVEL (Thirty-Minutes)
I wake to a very cold sensation on my brand new pants. There was chilled coffee, delicious caramel, and whipped cream all over my crotch area. My facial expressions clearly frightened the Mini-Human, but I knew it was an accident. I told him it was okay. However, I was forced to wait until we got to "cruising altitude" before I made my trip to the bathroom. I was forced to sit and just let the frothy goodness embed it's deliciousness into my outfit.
Cruising Altitude and Failed Un-dirty Clothes (FUC) Sloppy returns to slumber.
I don't recall exactly how long I was sleeping, but I was out-to-the-world. I awoke to a stewardess frantically shaking me, and telling me that I need to address an immediate issue.
Stewardess: Sir. Sir. SIR!
Sloppy: (Groggy) Yeah!
Stewardess: Here. You're baby is crying.
Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My kid is crying.
Sloppy: (Groggy) I'm so sorry.
Sloppy is now holding the last thing anyone should trust him with; another human life.
Sloppy Brain: Wait! Wait! Wait! You don't have a kid. Well, you do, but you don't have a baby, or kid on this flight.
Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am!
Stewardess turns!
Sloppy: This is not my baby. I don't have a baby.
Sloppy motions "HERE! TAKE KID NOW" gesture.
Stewardess: I am sorry, but I can't.
Sloppy: What?
Stewardess: I can't take the baby. Where are the parents?
Sloppy looks at empty aisle seats.
Sloppy Brain: Great! Fucking great. You're dream of an "empty aisle" came true, but know you don't know where the mother of this screaming child is.
Dear Reader, I have a baby cradled in my arm like a football, and I don't know where the endzone is, and spiking a football-sized human is not generally a socially acceptable practice. I need to "Heisman" this kid, but had no earthly idea where the mother was, aside from being on the airplane of course. The plane was a great place to start though.
Contrary to what many people would assume, I love the Middle East (ME), and predominately Muslim countries. I love the food, and I love the people. I have a disdain for Muslims whom initiate the lead jellybean exchange with me, but I would have that problem with Christians and Atheists as well. I generally dislike anyone who wishes to expedite my shelf-life by way of supersonic paper-cuts. There are cultural customs that make finding an absentee parent difficult during an international flight, specifically burkas.
The mother was a "ninja," and wore a head-to-toe black burka. I literally didn't know what she looked like. Further complicating my location effort was the fact that she was not alone. There were at least another hundred ladies that shopped at the same Dooey & Burka store.
Stewardess: What was she wearing?
Sloppy: That!
Looks!
Stewardess: (Puzzled) Is that her!?!
Sloppy (Fuck. My. Life Face) NO! She is wearing a black burka. Aside from that, I don't know what she looks like.
Stewardess: My god! This is gonna be challenging.
The stewardess was firm on her stance of not taking the Crib-Midget, but she thankfully assisted during Operation Find Unattended Kid Mother En-route (FUK ME). We, but mostly me, woke up at least thirty people before finding the mother's ass planted in Business Class. I can only imagine what the other ninja ladies thought when I asked them...
Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Excuse me? Is this your child (Extends human outwards)?
There were a considerable amount of "NO" answers. Worse? Some of the people did not speak English. I wonder what was going through their minds.
Dramatization
Sloppy: English. English English English?
Translation
"Would you like my child?"
"I found this "thing" next to me. Is it yours?"
"Free Baby! Piping hot Free Baby here. Get your Free Baby."
The stewardess had a long conversation with absentee-mother, and she returned to Coach with the rest of the animals. I couldn't see past the eyes, but she looked angry with me. Not only did I rat her out for her stealthy move to Business Class, but I passed off a crying human.
Dear Reader, the rest of the flight was uneventful. The landing and hustle at Kuwait City International was anything but. I was familiar with the layout of the airport, but I was low on time. I had decided to take another attempt at washing my pants. I entered the nearest bathroom and found a line of men, and they were all washing their feet in the sink.
I get it. I understand why they were doing it, but there is no "wait in line" in the Middle East. You, like an asshole, push your way to the front and skip everyone else in line. It's "a way" in the United States, but is not "the way" most Americans practice "wait in line." I got sick of standing in line after about ten men budged. It was my turn.
Sloppy: Excuse me. I was in front of you, and I am going to...
He looks me up-and-down, and then it happened.
Male: At least I didn't piss my pants.
It was perfect English, but I didn't have the time to explain that I didn't piss myself. I just rolled with it. The second cleaning attempt was just as fruitless as the first cleaning attempt. The only thing that made my trip better was chaos in Beirut International (BEY). I arrived, and managed to beat the rush through customs. I was then greeted by a nearly seven foot tall giant named Jimmy.
Jimmy: Whoa! Did you piss your pants?
Sloppy: Not yet. Long story. I have to piss before we roll.
I was more than familiar with the layout of this particular airport, but I was paralyzed with piss-pain. I could barely walk, let alone run, to the bathroom.
Jimmy: Ahh. I will go hold up the line.
It was an odd statement. I was not certain how Jimmy would, "hold up the line," but I would soon find out. The bathroom at Beirut International is immediately to the right after you depart customs. However, it's the size of a small closet. There are two urinals, and one toilet stall. The spacing between the urinal and opposite wall is no more than four feet though. Again, think long, but narrow closet.
I continue the agonizing pee walk and I am a bit disappointed when I see a large line forming near the bathroom. There was "loud chatter" that I didn't understand, and some clearly disgruntled humans. I rounded the corner and nearly pissed myself. Jimmy was in deed "holding up the line." Jimmy's back was firmly planted on the wall to the right, and a flowing stream of yellow piss was arcing across the room, and landing in the urinal to the left. Jimmy was peeing from wall-to-wall. Nobody was going past urinal number one without receiving a golden shower.
Jimmy: (Smile) I got you man. Come in. I'll pinch her off.
Sloppy, like Moses (Kind of) parts pee stream and proceeds to second urinal.
I take a look to the left to get a glimpse of the chaotic line at the entrance. There were loud grumbles of displeasure, but, then I seen an old man. The old man was at least 70 years or older, and his face went from scowl, an onto smile. He then started to clap and I congratulate Jimmy's technique.
Old Man: (Laughing with Arabic Accent) Bravo. Bravo.
Sloppy: That was fucking brilliant.
Jimmy: Yeah. Didn't think you wanted to wait in line. Pulling out a gun would have been too much, so I figure peeing across the room would work.
Sloppy: Good to know for the next time.
That's that Dear Reader. Not an ordinary Military tale, but it was the oddest Military travel tale I have had. I "pissed my pants" with coffee, which ruined them. I was handed a baby that was not mine, and then forced to conduct a Ninja-hunt. I was accused of pissing my pants by men who were washing their feet in sinks. I was then accused of pissing my pants by Jimmy, and then Jimmy saved the day with four feet of arc pissing that was superbly executed. I'd like to thank the Army for this tale, because I don't know if Joe Civilian has experiences like this. Fucking Army!
Cheers,
Sloppy

Recommendations

If you enjoyed adventure game books DQ2 and Legacy of Dragonholt, this post is for you!

I placed the following adventure game books on my wishlist, but unf brexit is coming so I think it's best to order one before. However, to reach a decision I need more information, and I encountered a problem. There is next to no information readily available, so I would like to hear your thoughts - if you have read any of the books... I read/played Destiny Quest 2 + LoD and liked it a lot.
Q: Is there anything like that?
This post details modern adventure gamebooks. First there were wargames and FF/CYOA books, that influenced video games, which influenced modern adventure gamebooks. I focus on the latter (at first I posted findings randomly here, appending in a random way, now it is a more structured approach) since we're not kids anymore. Specifically spectrum extremes like RPG adventure game books, and dungeon generators, or worldbuilding systems for kobolds are not covered here. This post is already long enough. Modern adventure gamebooks then!
First, what sources are available?

Amazon. Good start, useful for finding other titles thanks to the recommendation function.
GoodReads. Limited but has sometimes info not found elsewhere. A lot of ratings but not many original reviews.
Kickstarter (when applicable): slog through various update posts. Time-consuming.
YouTube. A few gamebooks, a few channels, and videos quality is bad, making their point seems to take forever.
Various publisheauthor-owned websites. Cumbersome to even find these.
Completely useless:
1. BGG > RPGGeek. Mostly abandoned old stuff, not maintained. Useless unless you are into FF old-school adventure books, where you can download all the PDFs, and then this post is not for you, sorry.
2. Reddit. Sorry, but either I can't find it, or it simply is absent. Useless.
3. Wikipedia. You need to know the title first, which kinda defeats the purpose, amazon.co.uk is better suited.
twitch? discord? no idea what the young go to nowadays..

Next, criteria that need to be covered in reviews/info gathered from these sources:

Is the product available and affordable (<$40), or is it OOP, or PDF only?
Is there replayability?
Is the writing quality good enough? Or is it google-translate quality?
How is combat agency? is it FF-d6 style (=no agency), or does it take into account worn gear on body parts, worn gear stats? How does magic work in combat? Is there an initiative system?
How does Life work? Autoheal after each combat you won? Or more attrition based? If sleep is needed, how does lodging work?
How does Food/wateoxygen work? Is it needed to keep track of and why?
How does Death work? Choose left, read section you died. Game over? Or restart in town? Or restart at last save point (to be marked on your sheet)?
How does money work? Is there any? If so, is there an economy? E.g. returning to the smithy near town, you notice two newly erected buildings. Housing for my apprentices, the smith explains, smiling. Apparently your purchases did him good.
How does Loot work? Is loot randomly rolled based on tables (aka Diablo 2), or do many sections have unique items? If so, is there a choice offered among a few items from which to take (agency)?
How is the item inventory system? What items don't count (e.g. gold, bread, arrows in a quiver, gems etc). Is there a stash?
How much agency is there to travel? Is it Hub-Side quests/area boss? or sequentially unlocking areas?
Do scenes come to life? Has sufficient detail been provided? E.g. not "you're alone on a ship", but what boat material, how long is it, who built it, where did you get it from, how did you learn to sail, where at sea, how far at sea, etc.
Do npcs act / think / consider given the information they have? Or are they lifeless, passive and hence break immersion? E.g. not "Will you: A) pull that lever hidden under the rug hanging on the wall of the room that your hero hasn't found yet?"
Does the world/game state change/react to your (character's) actions? Does gameplay track your actions?
Do npcs change/react to your actions? E.g. you didn't help the desperate-looking girl, next day there a memorial is announced because she was found at the bottom of nearby cliff. Closing off your option to a possible location holding a great artifact.
Does the book offer solutions that do not require permanently affecting it?
What traits are relevant to the hero? Fame? Venom? Prescience?
Does it have puzzles? riddles?

List of books and info I found:

The Castle of Blackwood Moors = [amazon], [goodRead], [kickstarter], [youtube]. -> zero useful information/ no reviews other than that 2 people rated it 3/5 and that it depicts a series of rooms in a dungeon crawler. How is the writing quality? Do npcs make sense? Insufficient to warrant a purchase.

Heroes of Urowen: Gamebook [rpggeek] = see google drive link for preview. 4 stats. and everything is 1d6. Combat = if you hit is by your highest stat+d6 vs enemy stat+d6; if higher, roll for what body part (1-6) and modify by what target is wearing on what you rolled; that is the net damage. IOW: complicated decision tree without much to optimize. Inventory: food, coins, and main wpn do not count (6 slots total); Death = respawn at a save point, a number to be exact, that you come across just like a vg.
EDIT: I read the preview, and emailed the author on his spelling of dice/dices. He reacted very quickly and very friendly. Makes me almost wanting to back the bloke.

Rider of the Black Sun: A Fantasy Gamebook = mostly two reviews that read as if they were paid reviews, my gut says untrustworty. Combat is unexplained. Death, same. Actually there is only the ks campaign section. It mentions hidden bonus sections. Unique mechanics.. unique how? A Single page is published from what I see the writing is obviously translated from German and doesn't flow naturally (maybe in a new edition). Zero agency there, so why exactly that page?
The fact it starts with you are an urowen, as if that were explaining anything, annoys me.
Browsing through the project updates I found

a short film on a booklet, with some pretty disturbing pictures (chicks on chains, always good!) but to my surprise there was, more to the point,
also an update with some text.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/swen/rider-of-the-black-sun-a-fantasy-gamebook/posts/2200294
As you can see, the corrected text still (in my opinion) could benefit from a few extra iterations. What I saw: stunted rhythm, poor adjectives, signs of a non-native writer. I don't expect everyone to write like Jack Vance, but a bit more oompf would have helped. If you're not proficient in English, you won't be bothered and then the book is highly recommended. To me however it would distract too much.
EDIT: emailed the writer via the ks FAQ, and dude responded quickly and explained which the two isbn codes were for German vs English version, since amzn.co.uk doesn't tell you directly.
If you ever wanted Guitar Hero: The Adventure Game book, well, that's his next project.

The Defenders of Dusk: An Interactive Adventure by Dane Barrett Paperback => well since everything is a 2d6 on an 8 or higher do a else do b, this game is not for me. There is zero agency.

Beyond the morning mountains = well, the only information I could find is that it is inspired by the Australian outback (goodread link). Sandbox style, single ending. OOP. Insufficient to warrant a purchase.

Labyrinth - The Lich Lord's Lair = ? (amazon info); no ini, combat is you attack and enemy defends, enemy attacks and you defend. Old school, not my thing.

Blood sword (series of books 1-5)
blood sword 1 : [ amazon ] [ goodreads ] [ youtube]. Even tactical maps.
review: " the complex combat system. But that is easily solvable, just don't bother with it. " I had that exact same reaction when reading VoB. next review (German): ""Heart of Ice" is a story, "Blood Sword" (that applies to all parts) is more of a collection of encounters. In some places I had the impression that the authors had thought up the events while they were writing and were then sometimes surprised by the results themselves (otherwise I can't really explain the 100 sections for the demon logic game mentioned above, and similar "side events" appear in other volumes). Where "Heart of Ice" seems elegant and stringent, "Blood Sword" is much too experimental and thrown together in comparison. That was definitely a big step in the 80s, but nowadays I can only say: read "Heart of Ice" ! And then hope for a successor, because "Blood Sword" is quite disappointing."
GR bulgarian review: "I still didn't like this series and I never understood why they like it - maybe because of the lack of cultural fantasy in Bulgarian. The game was slow and at times confusing. Maybe because I was used to playing more than reading and I got bored of the bigger works, and the western ones were not like the Bulgarian game books - they were not written for the Bulgarian reader."
OK. BS1 is not for me. Perhaps BS2?
Blood Sword 2: kingdom of wyrd [amazon [ goodreads] [youtube] no excerpt this time.
Summary: better writing, better flow, larger footprint. Goodreads: aside from the whining bulgarian, everyone loves it. OK, might pick this one up.

Blood Sword 3: Demon's Claw - should be better right?
[ amazon ][ Goodreads ] [youtube]. [sample] Same dudes, same high rating. One note: " ‘The Demon’s Claw’ takes place across a quasi-historical world reminiscent of the decline of the Byzantine Empire and the rise of Islam. " OK, maybe this one as well...

Blood Sword 4: Doomwalk:
[amazon] [ Goodreads] 5/5 and 4.5 so positive, but useless reviews this time. One note: " his adventure takes most of it influence from the ancient Greek world ". Love that setting as well. Damn.

Fabled Lands series [ amazon ] - [goodreads] - [youtube]. More reviews than expected. You can download the free demo version of FL7, I didn't like it. You can listen to a dude reading aloud FL1-7 on youTube. Couldn't stand it, so I just list it for the sake of completionism.

Valley of Bones [youtube marco] I read the demo. Check for yourself. You can also write jon directly from the website.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/tmy4qac5mavj9im/VoB%20SampleBook%20DIGITAL%20FINAL.pdf?dl=0
It's not my dropbox so it can be taken down any day. If you want my errata I can upload them as well. Jon may send you the pdf that you then can print at your cost. In short: Wait until there are 3 more books in this series.

Steam highwayman:
[amazon] [youtube] [goodreads] not my thing. But you have a world that reacts to you. It's just not an interesting world. Part two is very cheap, used. Quotes: " Both my sons (age 12 and 8) have been enthralled by this." Nobody wrote a review, probably his family upvoting him.

Fabled Worlds [youtube] looks promising but unf FF style, and refers to [artichoke dip]. Might be amusing to watch.

And just for the sake of completionism:
Destiny Quest series, not the Varum one, but by Michael J Ward. He also has a forum dedicated to the books, of course I registered as a member. As you can see from goodreads it is his Life Work, and breathes passion and skill in writing and game design. I base this from youtube interviews, email correspondence and reading some of his material.
Destiny Quest 1 => reviewers complain you can break the system by investing in initiative. Also it is too much Diablo 1, constant battles, not enough lore/story. Granted, it's his first, so what can you expect. Michael confirmed the initiative thing in his interviews. So buy this book only to complete your collection.

Destiny Quest 2 = as a "first thoughts", I completed a few quests of part 1 (of 3):
(+) quest system is superb. You start in a town you wandered into, and try to get your bearings, talking to inhabitants, visiting the church etc. You pick a quest with a difficulty indicator: very helpful, thematically from easy quests some villagers did return; from medium quests one or two survived the experience but were in bad shape; so by inference the ones where none returned need some grinding. Some encounters with villagers also open up quests.
(+) Writing quality is superb. With few words Michael paints a picture in your head. None of the doubts on npcs occur. npcs feel natural. They have (hidden at first) motivations. Michael doesn't make the noob mistakes (VoB) of writing that something is dark and ominous. He describes the setting that implies that it is dark. He doesn't make npcs tell shit they couldn't possibly know.
(+) Combat system is superb. Using a d6 (I used an app that I first tested the fairness of) you roll for modified initiative, then who wins gets to deal modified damage based on (your choice of ) skill. You have a few skills, say STR, MAG, and can equip gear that embellishes one vs the other. It's quick, sharp, fun, and you get to spend your potions, day-skills, etc.
(+) How does death work? It doesn't. If you die, you wake up in town fully healed. Think Diablo 2 softcore. If anything, the system is too lenient. Rules say after each encounter you are fully healed, which is exactly what you would do in most vg situations. I missed that, however, somehow, and it got grim pretty fast the further I got on the easy quests.
(+) Loot + items. The usual head/hands/body/feet/neck slots, carry one with stats, and some with active or passive abilities. Equip a new thing, erase stuff from your sheet and write the new. Items are very varied in their effects which gives meaningful decisions. With some luck you can find a safe house with a stash to play loot whore like in video games ♪
(+) Plot. There is definitely the "sense" of a plot, but I can't confirm yet. The things you encounter certainly don't feel random.
(+) There is a tightly written list of pages and pages of skills, effects and such, in neat alphabetical order (or you can download as pdf. PDF is a PITA to print however).
(+) True solo. You can play as 1 or 2 heroes. 1 hero works well.
(+) Mystery: I found a clearing with a witch that was lighting candles, of course in a pentagram fashion. Afterward I was asked to complete the puzzle, it was a triangle of spots, 1-2-3 where the bottom was empty, and how many candles to light in the bottom. The digits interpreted as a number, would point to a section in the gamebook. I never solved that riddle and it made a deep impression.
(+) Variety. I won't spoil, but the quests and mini bosses are quite varied. I quit where the boss would spawn little critters every turn that collectively would eat my hero alive. But it was late in the day and I wasn't in the mood. I haven't found monsters with immunities, but you can bet they will be present, judging from the D2 vibe. Three acts. The maps in the front of the book are b/w but the downloadable pdfs are color, and look very, very intriguing.
(+) Replayability: well unless you play the first time doing all the easy quests then all the medium quests etc, you will have some replay value because the skills (passive abilities/once a day) are different depending on the class you started. For example, my hero class has prescience, very useful but others don't have that.

Destiny Quest 3 = 2 acts. snow and skyrim. Not sure about this one, need to finish dq2 first.
Destiny Quest 4: Raiders of Dune Sea = as far as I can tell, two acts, and exactly what you would imagine, wild west spagetti western desert then arabic desert. Yup: [amazon] => two halves, one western, second arabic. western part is subtle and doesn't lead anywhere but you discover how in second half. Ending is open, and to be completed in a future DQ5. Everybody loves the writing obviously.

Last, but not least, Legacy of Dragonholt. Nikki Valens Magnum Opus. Excellent attention to detail. No grim death, 4 endings. We spent 7 sessions on one playthrough, each 2h, 2p, with pregenerated characters. Gf can't wait on playing again with customized characters. We felt that we missed about 55-65% of everything. Highly recommended, although many reviews point out that the system could have been taken so much farther... (Value ratio = $30/2/2/7 = $1.50)

(buying all is a bit.. much)
TBH the combat seems to be the old school kind, which I don't like. Modern gamebooks take into account what you wear and can use and the net result of that determines your combat stats. None of the above seem to have that.
I mean if you like FF go read FF or lone wolf or similar. I am interested in something with a little more body to it.

(I'm updating this post regularly in the hope it will help anybody)
~~But for now I'll stick with my DQ2, given the current information, I already own the best.~~
~~I am ordering BS 3+4 (+2, not sure).~~
Ordered BS 3+4, period.
HTH

Nov/7/2020 wrap-up: \\ War in Artsakh (Karabakh) \\ battles near Shushi \\ Azerb & Iran exchange jabs \\ jihadist diaries \\ global movement to recognize Artsakh; 40 French MPs; cities \\ battlefield & analysis \\ diplomacy & foreign response \\ humanitarian aid & activism

Your Saturday briefing. 13-minute read. 3180 words:

Azerbaijan snorts the cocaine it was supposed to sell // Iran's warning

On November 3rd, Iran's Ayatollah Ali Khamenei gave a speech and indirectly criticized Azerbaijan's import of terrorists near Iranian borders "despite the denial of their presence."
The topic of terrorists is sensitive in Azerbaijan and they desperately try to spread fake news about Armenians being the ones to have imported "PKK Terrorists". This propaganda is mainly for internal Azeri public consumption and no one buys it outside of Azerbaijan. However, an Azeri Parliament MP, in response to Khamenei's speech, publicly accused Khamenei of "aiding the transit of PKK terrorists to Armenia".
This has angered Iran. There were calls to summon the Azeri ambassador to demand an explanation. Azeri presidential aide Hikmet Hajiyev is doing damage control by having all Azeri outlets remove the MP's speech critical to Khamenei.
Iranian army today: "we respect both sides of the conflict. Both countries must be very careful, as even the slightest [physical] attack on Iran will receive a decisive response. Our demand from the parties to the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict is not to open a place for Takfiri terrorists in the region.
Another important thing is the existence of the Zionist (Israeli) spy bases. We will not allow their existence near our borders.
These two are fundamental issues for us. Both sides need to realize this. Otherwise, the country that opens the way for the presence of Takfiri Zionist mercenaries will be responsible for the consequences."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034251.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034256.html , https://t.me/infoteka24/11096

Abu

Who is Abu Hamsha? Born Muhammad al-Jasim, he is the commander in charge of coordinating the transfer of jihadists from northern Syria to Azerbaijan. He has been mentioned by both of the jihadists who were captured by Armenian troops.
He leads the pro-Turkish cell called Sultan Suleiman Shah. The Syrian government, Syrian Kurds, and even residents of some Syrian Arab cities also want to find and neutralize him.
Here he is, with Erdogan's portrait behind: https://news.am/arm/news/611937.html

jihadist gives interview / complains about harsh conditions / destination kept secret to dupe

The New Yourk Review article: a mercenary Abdel Basit tells his story from Karabakh. "They sent us straight to front lines. The situation is horrific. There are battles every day. There is no rest. Many men have gone missing and we can't find them," said Abdel.
What did convince this former rebel from Homs to fight in foreign lands? His father, who is still in Syria, had taken a large loan due to a family emergency, but his salary wasn't enough to pay it back.
Abdel is one of the hundreds of militants who were transported by Turkey to Azerbaijan to fight against Armenians in Karabakh. These impoverished Syrian men have become cannon fodder.
Four of Abdel's friends were killed in two days, immediately after landing in Azerbaijan. Another two died a week later.
Abu Hamsha [aforementioned], the commander of Sultan Suleiman Shah, had collected 150 more militants 11 days ago. However, they were deceived and told they were going to Libya. They only found out about their real destination after departing Syria. Many of them knew about the high death toll in Karabakh and didn't want to fight there.
Reuters agency covered the story of how Armenian troops captured two militants alive. They are from Idlib and Hama areas and revealed the recruitment process.
When confronted about the evidence, and statements by Russia about the presence of these jihadists in Azerbaijan, the Azeri ambassador to the UK said, "I went to school in Moscow. I know very well what propaganda is. These claims [by Russia] are just Soviet propaganda. It's being done to involve Russia in this conflict."
https://news.am/arm/news/611961.html

detailed report on how Turkey uses its airports to freely transfer terrorists

https://hetq.am/hy/article/124025

The Hydra of Terrorism

English-language report detailing Turkish-Azeri-jihadist activities.
https://youtu.be/CgvMBg3twCM

November 7 timeline // battlefield & analysis & diplomacy

Russian ANNA reporter released a video from last evening showing the accumulation of Armenian heavy equipment and preparations for battles near Shushi.
https://youtu.be/m0piiFPVnFY
00:21: another major PR lobbying agency, Greenberg Traurig, has dropped Turkey as a client after protests by Armenians. The decision was made on October 29th.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034205.html , https://t.me/reartsakh/6134
00:51 Artsakh MFA: The aim of Baku's war crimes is to cause excessive losses to the Artsakh population. They violated the agreement signed in Geneva about not targeting civilians. Three civilians died yesterday during the indiscriminate bombing of Stepanakert and Shushi. This is an intentional policy.
The international community should end the aggression by recognizing Artsakh's independence.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034206.html , https://news.am/arm/news/611932.html
1:02: yesterday we learned that Azerbaijan used a civilian flight to transport special forces from the Nakhijevan enclave to Azerbaijan. A photo was published showing the troops and a selfie with their commander.
It turns out, their commander Teheran Mensimov (in photo) was killed in Artsakh, says Diaspora Committee chief Zareh Sinanyan.
He is the same commander who led the Azeri army in Nakhijevan during the Azerbaijan-Turkey joint army training in August. He died two days after arriving in Artsakh.
Another report states the death of his associate, also special forces member, Marhamat Ahmadov.
https://www.facebook.com/zareh.sinanyan/posts/10207982888406853 , https://news.am/arm/news/611957.html , https://twitter.com/yeghig/status/1325083380032163842
8:40 WarGonzo reporter from Stepanakert: The Azeri artillery that bombed Shushi overnight is over 20km away. That's quite a distance. They weren't able to bring any heavy artillery close.
https://youtu.be/kEYWIJl8TMY
9:18 US Senator Todd Young: there is a need to end the violent aggression by Azerbaijan and Turkey in Karabakh. The fighting has gone on for too long and I am grateful to our Armenian community for their efforts to end the violence.
https://twitter.com/SenToddYoung/status/1324815065749606400 , https://news.am/arm/news/611954.html
8:50 (photo): the army shared a photo/video of four Armenian soldiers who shot 6 Azeri pickup trucks carrying personnel. Also an interview with others telling battle stories.
https://youtu.be/a_NcyhhAG_c
https://news.am/arm/news/611949.html
9:54 MoD: the air defense units shot down an Azeri drone at 6:45 in the eastern front.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034221.html
10:09 Artsakh govt: settlements were generally relatively calm overnight. Shushi was repeatedly bombed.
https://t.me/infocomm/25616
10:29 army: the battles continued on all fronts overnight and in the morning. The ones near Shushi were heavy. Multiple Azeri attacks were repelled; they have large manpower losses. Our artillery stood out with high efficiency. The operative-tactical situation in all directions remains unchanged.
In south-east and south, we destroyed 4 drones and 2 vehicles transporting Azeri personnel. The battles continue.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034224.html
10:33 Artsakh president's spokesman: "Azerbaijan's propaganda machine lies about Colonel-General Seyran Ohanyan being wounded because the lessons Seyran taught them were very painful. I'm sure they'll receive more lessons because Seyran is alive and carries on with his duties."
Seyran Ohanyan confirmed he wasn't wounded but he lost one of his friends (Vahe) during the battles near Shushi. "The fighting mood of all of us is very high; we are all determined to defend our homeland."
Among the recently fallen soldiers were a Russian-Armenian volunteer from "Lion's Heart" sports club, a Colonel of civilian police forces Artyom Mirzoyan, a ballet artist Tigran Harutyunyan.
https://news.am/arm/news/612031.html , https://sport.news.am/arm/news/116415/ , https://factor.am/306263.html , https://news.am/arm/news/612029.html , https://style.news.am/arm/news/74775/zohvel-e-baleti-artist-tigran-harutyunyany.html
10:39: Artsakh and Armenian Human Rights Ombudsmen prepared a joint report about the chemical, WMD, and burning bombs used by Azerbaijan in Artsakh. Some chemicals were dropped only 100 meters away from settlements, while other mass destruction bombs were used directly against civilians. The report has 18+ photos. Below is a video showing the chemical weapons.
English subtitles: https://youtu.be/n14K6zZJMQ0
https://factor.am/306267.html
11:18 (video): Armenian soldiers have a habit of planting trees in the holes left by Azeri bombs.
https://youtu.be/v17XeVUIgbA
11:44 army: Azerbaijan has lost 7510 soldiers (+105 latest), 262 drones (+5), 749 tanks and armored vehicles (+13), 6 TOS, 25 aircrafts, 16 helicopters.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034232.html
11:45: first lady Anna Hakobyan has praised women who recently joined the army. She's been training with a group of dozen women. "Armenian woman, from now on, will know how to use a weapon and join men to defend herself, her children, and her fatherland".
Someone criticized her, calling it a "PR campaign". She responded by saying "when I was preaching peace with Azerbaijan in 2019 you were calling me weak. Now you're against our effort to rally female fighters. Make up your mind."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034231.html , https://news.am/arm/news/611973.html
12:17: six explosions were heard in capital Stepanakert. Shushi was bombed throughout the day. Two houses caught on fire.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034235.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034242.html
12:57: Spanish city of Coruña has approved a resolution condemning the aggression against Artsakh, and the use of jihadists by Turkey and Azerbaijan.
https://news.am/arm/news/611990.html
13:20: the Italian city of Nogaredo has officially recognized Artsakh's independence.
https://news.am/arm/news/611995.html
13:32: president Sarkissian gave an interview to La Libre Belgique, explained the history of the conflict, "Turkey creates instability everywhere".
Full: https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034240.html
14:34 Artsakh president Arayik: Today I met the volunteer detachments of the Armenian community of Abkhazia, who are in Artsakh on the call of their homeland In general, it is encouraging that our Diaspora compatriots are joining us these days.
https://news.am/arm/news/612013.html
14:47 Artsakh Parliament: special thanks to all the international legislative bodies who have approved resolutions in support of Artsakh.
https://news.am/arm/news/612018.html
15:17 Martuni mayor: the situation remains tense. Despite the ongoing bombings, the repair crews continue to fix infrastructure. The enemy received a blow that they won't forget for a long time. Overall, Martuni's positions remain similar to that of in the 90s. Martuni and its residents stand strong and will go until the end, and the end is victory.
https://news.am/arm/news/612024.html
15:48: 40 French Parliamentarians contacted president Macron and asked him to officially recognize the Artsakh Republic instead of being neutral. "Only international recognition, as in the case of Kosovo, will allow Artsakh to move out of the zone that does not allow it to receive international, humanitarian assistance."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034252.html
16:28: video showing Armenian soldiers shooting from artillery/tanks:
https://youtu.be/Tl9bc5PfTk4
17:30: measures are being taken by emergency workers in Stepanakert regarding two residential buildings that became dangerous for habitation after the Azeri bombing.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034260.html
17:55: Azerbaijan used GRAD and Smerch missiles against Stepanakert.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034264.html
18:05 Artsakh official: my dear compatriots who're temporarily residing outside of Artsakh, everything is under control. There is no reason for panic. [there was a report that Azeris captured a hill south of Shushi].
https://news.am/arm/news/612042.html , https://factor.am/306421.html
18:31: Putin and Macron discussed Artsakh and the presence of Syrian militants.
18:54: France will send a team of surgeons and medical devices to aid Armenia.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034270.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034268.html
18:52 volunteer squad leader: we neutralized 20 Azeri soldiers in Berdzor (Lachin) direction, near Arpagyaduk, and captured an important height.
Photos: https://t.me/reartsakh/6173
https://t.me/reartsakh/6171
20:02 The National Interest article: "It’s Time to Open a U.S. Consulate in Stepanakert"
Stepanakert is the capital of Nagorno-Karabakh, […] under a prolonged assault by Azeri forces, Syrian mercenaries transported into the theater by Turkey, and Turkish drones. While most of the fighting has been on the edge of the territory, Stepanakert has also come under fire. Turkish F-16s have reportedly attacked the city’s maternity hospital, and journalists reported heavy shelling on Thursday.
It may seem counterintuitive to send American diplomats to a city under siege, but opening a consulate in Stepanakert would quiet conflict and perhaps promote peace.
Full: https://nationalinterest.org/blog/buzz/nagorno-karabakh-crisis-it%E2%80%99s-time-open-us-consulate-stepanakert-172224
https://twitter.com/mrubin1971/status/1325106317128822784
20:33 Pashinyan to German Tagasschau outlet: Azerbaijan was/is not ready for mutual compromise and it was proven in 2011 in Kazan when the Armenian side had agreed to give 5 regions in exchange for status for Karabakh.
This was a big compromise by Armenians. The agreement was discussed and ready to be signed but Aliyev changed his mind at the last minute. They have always wanted a war.
Full: https://t.me/infocomm/25650 , https://t.me/infocomm/25651
20:10 army spokesman Artsrun: The heavy battles continue in Martuni direction. The army has scored successes south of Shushi. If the situation is difficult somewhere near Shushi, that does not mean that some people should make negative noise.
21:11: the heavy battles continue in the immediate vicinity of Shushi.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034275.html , https://news.am/arm/news/612060.html , https://news.am/arm/news/612065.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034280.html
21:41 WarnGonzo reporter: we just came from Shushi suburb. We met the artillerymen who were targeting the attackers, who didn't make it to Shushi, according to our info. There is still a group of infiltrators near the rocks of Shushi suburbs. They're blocked by Armenian special forces. The rumors about Shushi being under Azeri control is false.
https://youtu.be/bRqSAm3RwhA
Olympic Silver medalist wrestler Mihran published a video from Shushi:
https://youtu.be/DweEGRSzRCM
22:00 army spokesman Artsrun's briefing: as I've said yesterday, the battles continue nonstop since yesterday. The enemy moved closer to Shushi and nearby roads. A retreat is sometimes necessary to keep the army's combat-readiness and secure future successes.
As I noted yesterday, we defended Shushi, but it appears the enemy continues to try to attack it by involving more forces to solve its task. At the moment, our soldiers are resisting the attacks by dealing heavy blows on Azeri flanks, rear, and communication channels. The heavy battles continue to keep Shushi standing. This is the third day of these battles.
The battles also continue near Qarin Tak (south of Shushi), Lisagor (between Lachin and Shushi), and other places. And when these heavy battles continue and our soldiers fight until the end, our duty is to believe in the Armenian soldier and trust him, and spreading any panic or rumors about things like evacuation are inappropriate.
Throughout the day there were battles in other directions. Azeris tried to attack Martuni with armored vehicles. After losing 1-2 vehicles and several soldiers, they were thrown back.
South of Berdzor the enemy tried to advance but failed after suffering losses. Our units captured a position.
There were no major battles on other fronts but limited artillery was used. The battles continue in areas near Hadrut.
Q: what's the situation in Davit Bek village in Armenia?
A: Azeris bombed it today and got bombed in return. It's normal.
https://youtu.be/zuYv7FrR4DM , https://www.facebook.com/ArmenianUnifiedInfoCentevideos/389803228828193/?epa=SEARCH_BOX
22:03 Segodnia.ru article about drones: If in the first month of hostilities Azerbaijan made a bet on the widespread use of drones, now the situation is changing. The number of Azeri drones in the sky of Karabakh dropped sharply. There are multiple reasons.
First. The climate has changed. Low clouds and mountainous regions made the use of drones less effective. To see the target, the drone has to lower to 1km altitude and fly slower. This makes it vulnerable to several types of weapons, and even machine guns. The other day Armenians posted a video of shooting a drone with an AK-47.
Second. The Azeri drone fleet is depleting. Every time they use a suicide drone they lost one.
Third. Armenians reported downing approximately 9 Bayraktar drones. The photos don't show traces of missile impact which indicates that Armenians used a radio-interference and GPS jamming tools instead.
Turkey, however, recently announced the creation of a new generation of drone that's controlled differently; it's pre-programmed to fly a specific path without relying on GPS. It might be equipped with Israeli-made anti-radio-interference protection, too.
That would be similar to what American-made Tomahawk missiles use. The Tomahawk missiles were used against Syria in 2017, but unsuccessfully, because Russian radio-interference devices were still able to confuse the flight path and even its optical vision-based flight orientation.
It's fair to say that drone warfare has not ended in Karabakh.
http://www.segodnia.ru/content/234565
22:55: father and son meet in the front lines
https://youtu.be/sqcsGn8PDjc
23:09 Pashinyan to German ARD outlet: a WW3 has started, and it's a hybrid war. It's equally aimed against Christians, Muslims, and Jews…
We receive the support that we expect from Russia. No issues with the quality of the military agreement. On the other hand, we understand that Russia, being an OSCE member, is staying neutral and preserving the good relations with Azerbaijan…
OSCE should remain the only platform for negotiations…
Full: https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034285.html
23:48: Putin and Erdogan discussed Artsakh.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034289.html

donations & demonstrations

Shout out to diasporan Armenians who're trying to re-learn the alphabet:
https://www.reddit.com/armenia/comments/jovxqg/turkeyazerbaijan_war_against_artsakh_day_41/gbeuf4i/
10:03: giant billboards were installed in Los Angeles and the highway near Paterson city, urging for the official recognition of Artsakh. "Take action now before it's too late."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034222.html
10:43: SOAD's Serj Tankian explains why the two recent songs were needed:
https://youtu.be/JvptxZZbm_Y
10:45: four chess grandmasters played against 120 opponents and collected 1.1 million in donations for www.HimnaDram.org
https://sport.news.am/arm/news/116396/
13:25: two Moscowite Armenians began sewing sleeping bags for soldiers when the war began. Today the number of volunteers is 200. They're looking for drivers and laborers.
Video: https://youtu.be/u2Qb8_BsUjk
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034239.html
13:36: a pianist kid performs a song for soldiers:
https://youtu.be/aJqBrPnnzf0?t=12
14:47: Armenians living in Damascus, despite hardship, have donated $25,000 to Artsakh.
https://t.me/infocomm/25635
17:17: Burger King has apologized after its franchise in Azerbaijan posted pro-Azeri aggression propaganda on Instagram.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034258.html
19:04: Armenians and Polkas demonstrated in Krakow, Poland with calls to officially recognize Artsakh.
https://news.am/arm/news/612051.html
20:20: The French ambassador invited a group of Artsakh refugee women for a meeting after they gathered in front of the German embassy yesterday.
https://www.panarmenian.net/arm/news/287505/
21:54: boxing world champion Arthur Abraham has joined the Armenian demonstrators in Berlin
Photos: https://t.me/infoteka24/11116

regional kerfuffle & geopolitics

Russian air force carried out massive airstrikes in Jabal Zawiya, Idlib, Syria.
https://t.me/anna_news/9448
Russian authorities arrested an anti-Armenian activist Ramilia Saitova for making extremist comments against Armenians. She published a video calling for the destruction of Armenian crosses. Unidentified people burned a cross in Uzyan village. She was arrested the next morning.
https://news.am/arm/news/611970.html
Erdogan has fired the chief of Turkey's Central Bank Murat Uysal, amid the Turkish currency Lira's rapid devaluation. The new pawn is Naci Agbal, his former Finance Minister who earlier yielded his office to Erdogan's son-in-law Borat Albayrak.
Former Deputy PM of Turkey commented on the firing, saying "Erdogan can not escape responsibility. Let us not forget that the main reason for what happened in the economy is the presidential system of government and party administration, which excludes institutional thinking and general thinking. "
https://news.am/arm/news/611948.html , https://www.trtworld.com/turkey/turkey-dismisses-governor-of-central-bank-41241 , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034262.html
German think tank SWP prepared a report stating that Turkey is a "dangerous ally" that keeps alienating from the West. The analysts pointed out Turkey's attempts to aid Azerbaijan with a goal to join a new type of negotiating table, just with Russia, without the Western states, a la Idlib style.
Russia finds the new format unacceptable while trying to maintain relations with Turkey and Azerbaijan.
Turkey wants to improve relations with Russia at the expense of the West. Russia has accepted Turkey's growing influence in the region at the expense of the decline of U.S. influence.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034250.html

other Armenian news

COVID stats: +5,339 tested. +2,476 infected. +27 deaths. +1,476 healed. 39,055 active.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1034227.html

How to help Artsakh & Armenia

www.1000plus.am (international, medical help for former soldiers)
www.HimnaDram.org (international, for Artsakh)
www.ArmeniaFund.org (U.S. tax-deductible, for Artsakh)

Prior events:
Nov 6, Nov 5, Nov 4, Nov 3, Nov 2, Nov 1, October 31, October 30, October 29, October 28, October 27, October 26, October 25, October 24, October 23, October 22, October 21, October 20, October 19, October 18, October 17, October 16, October 15, October 14, October 13, October 12, October 11 , October 10, October 9 , October 8, October 7,October 6, October 5, October 4, October 3, October 2, October 1, September 30, September 29, September 28, September 27

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