Best run in terms of anything
Stanley Kubrick: Lolita, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Spartacus, and Dr. Strangelove.
Robert Wise: The Sound of Music, West Side Story, The Sand Pebbles, The Haunting, Two for the Seesaw, and Star!.
Jean Luc Godard: Breathless, Contempt, My Life to Live, Two or Three Things I Know About Her, Pierrot le Fou, Bande à part, A Woman Is a Woman, Le petit soldat, The Carabineers, A Married Woman, Alphaville, Made in U.S.A, Masculin Féminin, La Chinoise, Weekend, One Plus One, Joy of Learning, A Film Like Any Other, and British Sounds.
David Lean: Lawrence of Arabia and Doctor Zhivago
Francois Truffaut: Stolen Kisses, Antoine and Colette, Shoot the Piano Player, Jules and Jim, The Soft Skin, Fahrenheit 451, The Bride Wore Black, and Mississippi Mermaid.
Alfred Hitchcock: Psycho, The Birds, Topaz, Marnie, and Torn Curtain.
Billy Wilder: The Apartment, Irma la Douce, The Fortune Cookie, One, Two, Three, and Kiss Me, Stupid.
Federico Fellini: 8 1/2, La Dolce Vita, Juliet of the Spirits, Satyricon, Spirits of the Dead, and Boccaccio '70.
Ingmar Bergman: Persona, Shame, Hour of the Wolf, The Passion of Anna, The Rite, All These Women, The Silence, Through a Glass Darkly, Winter Light, The Devil's Eye, and The Virgin Spring.
Mike Nichols: The Graduate Teach me!, and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?.
Sidney Lumet: The Fugitive Kind, The Appointment, The Hill, The Deadly Affair, Fail Safe, Bye Bye Braverman, The Group, A View from the Bridge, The Pawnbroker, and Long Day's Journey into Night.
Luchino Visconti: Rocco and His Brothers, The Damned, The Leopard, Sandra, and The Stranger.
George Roy Hill: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Hawaii, The World of Henry Orient, Period of Adjustment, and Toys in the Attic .
Roman Polanski: Knife in the Water, Repulsion, Rosemary's Baby, The World's Most Beautiful Swindlers, and Cul-de-sac.
John Huston: The Unforgiven, The Misfits, The Night of the Iguana, The List of Adrian Messenger, The Bible: In the Beginning..., Freud, Reflections in a Golden Eye, A Walk with Love and Death, Casino Royale, and Sinful Davey.
Sergio Leone: The Dollars Trilogy, Once Upon a Time in the West, and The Colossus of Rhodes.
Michelangelo Antonioni: Blowup, L'Avventura, L'Eclisse, La Notte, and Red Desert.
John Ford: How the West Was Won, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Sergeant Rutledge, 7 Women, Cheyenne Autumn, Two Rode Together, and Donovan's Reef.
Akira Kurosawa: Yojimbo, Red Beard, Sanjuro, The Bad Sleep Well, and High and Low.
John Frankenheimer: Birdman of Alcatraz, The Manchurian Candidate, The Train, Seven Days in May, Seconds, Grand Prix, All Fall Down, The Fixer, The Young Savages, The Gypsy Moths, and The Extraordinary Seaman.
Vittorio De Sica: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, Woman Times Seven, Marriage Italian Style, After the Fox, Un monde nouveau, Il giudizio universale, The Condemned of Altona, and Two Women.
Blake Edwards: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Days of Wine and Roses, The Party, The Great Race, A Shot in the Dark, High Time, Soldier in the Rain, Experiment in Terror, and The Pink Panther.
John Sturges: The Great Escape, The Magnificent Seven, Ice Station Zebra, Marooned, Hour of the Gun, A Girl Named Tamiko, By Love Possessed, and Sergeants 3.
Stanley Kramer: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Ship of Fools, Inherit the Wind, Judgment at Nuremberg, and The Secret of Santa Vittoria.
Robert Aldrich: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Dirty Dozen, The Killing of Sister George, The Last Sunset, 4 for Texas, and Sodom and Gomorrah.
Mario Bava: The Girl Who Knew Too Much, Black Sunday, Kill, Baby, Kill, Hercules in the Haunted World, Knives of the, Erik the Conqueror Avenger, Danger: Diabolik, Black Sabbath, Blood and Black Lace, and Planet of the Vampires.
Elia Kazan: Wild River, The Arrangement, America America, and Splendor in the Grass.
Samuel Fuller: Shock Corridor, The Naked Kiss, Shark!, Underworld U.S.A., and Merrill's Marauders.
Robert Bresson: Au hasard Balthazar, Mouchette, The Trial of Joan of Arc, and A Gentle Woman.
Andrei Tarkovsky: Andrei Rublev and Ivan's Childhood.
Sam Peckinpah: The Wild Bunch, Major Dundee, The Deadly Companions, and Ride the High Country.
Yasujirō Ozu: Late Autumn, The End of Summer, and An Autumn Afternoon.
Robert Altman: Countdown and That Cold Day in the Park.
Francis Ford Coppola: Tonight for Sure, The Bellboy and the Playgirls, Dementia 13, You're a Big Boy Now, Finian's Rainbow, and The Rain People.
Jean-Pierre Melville: Léon Morin, Priest, Army of Shadows, Le Samouraï, Magnet of Doom, Le Doulos, and Le deuxième
Luis Buñuel: The Milky Way, Belle de Jour, Simon of the Desert, Diary of a Chambermaid, The Young One, The Exterminating Angel, and Viridiana.
John Cassavetes : Faces, A Child Is Waiting, and Too Late Blues.
Roberto Rossellini: The Taking of Power by Louis XIV, Uno sguardo dal ponte, Escape by Night, Garibaldi, Les Carabiniers, Vanina Vanini, Les Carabiniers, Anima nera, and Benito Mussolini.
Pier Paolo Pasolini: Mamma Roma, The Gospel According to St. Matthew, Accattone, The Hawks and the Sparrows, Pigsty, Theorem, Oedipus Rex, and Medea.
Howard Hawks: Man's Favorite Sport?, Red Line 7000, El Dodrado, and Hatari!.
John Schlesinger: Darling, Midnight Cowboy, Far from the Madding Crowd, A Kind of Loving, and Billy Liar.
Martin Ritt: Hud, Paris Blues, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, The Spy Who Came In from the Cold, The Outrage, Hombre, Five Branded Women, and The Brotherhood.
Jack Clayton: The Innocents, The Pumpkin Eater, and Our Mother's House.
Robert Mulligan: The Rat Race, The Great Impostor, The Spiral Road, To Kill a Mockingbird, Love with the Proper Stranger, Inside Daisy Clover, Baby the Rain Must Fall, Up the Down Staircase, and The Stalking Moon.
Satyajit Ray: Nyak, Two, Teen Kanya, Kanchenjungha, Devi, Rabindranath Tagore, Abhijan, Mahanagar, Aranyer Din Ratri, Chiriyakhana, Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne, Charulata, and Mahapurush.
Tony Richardson: Tom Jones, The Entertainer, A Subject of Scandal and Concern, A Taste of Honey, Sanctuary, Hamlet, Red and Blue, Laughter in the Dark, The Loved One, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, Mademoiselle, The Sailor from Gibraltar, The Charge of the Light Brigade, and Laughter in the Dark.
Bryan Forbes: Séance on a Wet Afternoon,Whistle Down the Wind, King Rat,The L-Shaped Room, Deadfall, The Wrong Box, The Whisperers, and The Madwoman of Chaillot.
Richard Brooks: Elmer Gantry, In Cold Blood, The Happy Ending, Sweet Bird of Youth, Lord Jim, and The Professionals.
Claude Chabrol: Les Biches, The Unfaithful Wife, The Champagne Murders, Les Bonnes Femmes, Wise Guys, The Third Lover, Landru, Ophélia, Le Tigre aime la chair fraiche, Marie-Chantal contre le docteur Kha, Our Agent Tiger, The Road to Corinth, and This Man Must Die.
Mario Monicelli: The Passionate Thief, Casanova 70, Caprice Italian Style, The Girl with the Pistol, Organizer, L'armata Brancaleone, High Infidelity, and Sex Quartet.
Norman Jewison: In the Heat of the Night, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Cincinnati Kid, The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming, Gaily, Gaily, 40 Pounds of Trouble, The Thrill of It All, Send Me No Flowers, and The Art of Love.
Gillo Pontecorvo: The Battle of Algiers, Burn!, and Paras.
Ken Russell: Song of Summer, French Dressing, Women in Love, and Billion Dollar Brain
Ken Loach: Kes and Poor Cow.
Costa-Gavras:Z, Shock Troops, and The Sleeping Car Murders
Jacques Demy: The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, The Young Girls of Rochefort, Lola, Bay of Angels, and Model Shop.
Carol Reed: Oliver!, The Running Man, and The Agony and the Ecstasy.
Fred Zinnemann: A Man for All Seasons, The Sundowners, and Behold a Pale Horse.
Arthur Penn: The Chase, Alice's Restaurant, Bonnie and Clyde, The Miracle Worker, and Mickey One.
Agnes Varda: Cléo de 5 à 7, Le Bonheur, Lions from love, Les Créatures, and Loin du Vietnam.
Masaki Kobayashi: Harakiri, Samurai Rebellion, The Inheritance, A Soldier's Prayer, Hymn to a Tired Man, and Kwaidan.
Otto Preminger: Advise & Consent, Exodus, The Cardinal, Bunny Lake Is Missing, In Harm's Way, Skidoo, and Hurry Sundown.
Stanley Donen: Charade, Two for the Road, The Grass Is Greener, Surprise Package, and Once More, with Feeling!.
Nicholas Ray: The Savage Innocents, 55 Days at Peking, and King of Kings.
Luis García Berlanga: Long Live the Bride and Groom, Three Fables of Love, The Executioner, Plácido, and La boutique.
Walerian Borowczyk: Mr. and Mrs. Kabal's Theatre, Renaissance, and Goto, Island of Love.
Karel Reisz: Isadora, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, Night Must Fall, and Morgan – A Suitable Case for Treatment.
Joseph Losey: Eva, The Criminal, The Damned, King and Country, The Servant, Boom!, Accident, Secret Ceremony, and Modesty Blaise.
Mark Robson: Daddy's Gone A-Hunting, Von Ryan's Express, The Prize, Valley of the Dolls, The Inspector, Nine Hours to Rama, Lost Command, and From the Terrace.
Richard Fleischer: Che!, Fantastic Voyage, The Big Gamble, Barabbas, The Boston Strangler, Doctor Dolittle, and Crack in the Mirror,
Vincente Minnelli: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, The Courtship of Eddie's Father, Two Weeks in Another Town, The Sandpiper, Home from the Hill, Bells Are Ringing, and Goodbye Charlie.
Louis Malle: Zazie dans le Métro, Spirits of the Dead, Viva Maria!, A Very Curious Girl, The Fire Within, The Thief of Paris, and A Very Private Affair.
Alain Resnais: Last Year at Marienbad, Muriel, The War Is Over, and Je t'aime, je t'aime.
Eric Rohmer: Le Signe du Lion, My Night at Maud's, La Collectionneuse, The Bakery Girl of Monceau, and Suzanne's Career.
Milos Forman: Loves of a Blonde, The Firemen's Ball, and Black Peter.
George Sidney: Pepe, Bye Bye Birdie, Half a Sixpence, Viva Las Vegas, A Ticklish Affair, and The Swinger.

Best run in terms of anything
Stanley Kubrick: Lolita, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Spartacus, and Dr. Strangelove.
Robert Wise: The Sound of Music, West Side Story, The Sand Pebbles, The Haunting, Two for the Seesaw, and Star!.
Jean Luc Godard: Breathless, Contempt, My Life to Live, Two or Three Things I Know About Her, Pierrot le Fou, Bande à part, A Woman Is a Woman, Le petit soldat, The Carabineers, A Married Woman, Alphaville, Made in U.S.A, Masculin Féminin, La Chinoise, Weekend, One Plus One, Joy of Learning, A Film Like Any Other, and British Sounds.
David Lean: Lawrence of Arabia and Doctor Zhivago
Francois Truffaut: Stolen Kisses, Antoine and Colette, Shoot the Piano Player, Jules and Jim, The Soft Skin, Fahrenheit 451, The Bride Wore Black, and Mississippi Mermaid.
Alfred Hitchcock: Psycho, The Birds, Topaz, Marnie, and Torn Curtain.
Billy Wilder: The Apartment, Irma la Douce, The Fortune Cookie, One, Two, Three, and Kiss Me, Stupid.
Federico Fellini: 8 1/2, La Dolce Vita, Juliet of the Spirits, Satyricon, Spirits of the Dead, and Boccaccio '70.
Ingmar Bergman: Persona, Shame, Hour of the Wolf, The Passion of Anna, The Rite, All These Women, The Silence, Through a Glass Darkly, Winter Light, The Devil's Eye, and The Virgin Spring.
Mike Nichols: The Graduate Teach me!, and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?.
Sidney Lumet: The Fugitive Kind, The Appointment, The Hill, The Deadly Affair, Fail Safe, Bye Bye Braverman, The Group, A View from the Bridge, The Pawnbroker, and Long Day's Journey into Night.
Luchino Visconti: Rocco and His Brothers, The Damned, The Leopard, Sandra, and The Stranger.
George Roy Hill: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Hawaii, The World of Henry Orient, Period of Adjustment, and Toys in the Attic .
Roman Polanski: Knife in the Water, Repulsion, Rosemary's Baby, The World's Most Beautiful Swindlers, and Cul-de-sac.
John Huston: The Unforgiven, The Misfits, The Night of the Iguana, The List of Adrian Messenger, The Bible: In the Beginning..., Freud, Reflections in a Golden Eye, A Walk with Love and Death, Casino Royale, and Sinful Davey.
Sergio Leone: The Dollars Trilogy, Once Upon a Time in the West, and The Colossus of Rhodes.
Michelangelo Antonioni: Blowup, L'Avventura, L'Eclisse, La Notte, and Red Desert.
John Ford: How the West Was Won, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Sergeant Rutledge, 7 Women, Cheyenne Autumn, Two Rode Together, and Donovan's Reef.
Akira Kurosawa: Yojimbo, Red Beard, Sanjuro, The Bad Sleep Well, and High and Low.
John Frankenheimer: Birdman of Alcatraz, The Manchurian Candidate, The Train, Seven Days in May, Seconds, Grand Prix, All Fall Down, The Fixer, The Young Savages, The Gypsy Moths, and The Extraordinary Seaman.
Vittorio De Sica: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, Woman Times Seven, Marriage Italian Style, After the Fox, Un monde nouveau, Il giudizio universale, The Condemned of Altona, and Two Women.
Blake Edwards: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Days of Wine and Roses, The Party, The Great Race, A Shot in the Dark, High Time, Soldier in the Rain, Experiment in Terror, and The Pink Panther.
John Sturges: The Great Escape, The Magnificent Seven, Ice Station Zebra, Marooned, Hour of the Gun, A Girl Named Tamiko, By Love Possessed, and Sergeants 3.
Stanley Kramer: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Ship of Fools, Inherit the Wind, Judgment at Nuremberg, and The Secret of Santa Vittoria.
Robert Aldrich: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Dirty Dozen, The Killing of Sister George, The Last Sunset, 4 for Texas, and Sodom and Gomorrah.
Mario Bava: The Girl Who Knew Too Much, Black Sunday, Kill, Baby, Kill, Hercules in the Haunted World, Knives of the, Erik the Conqueror Avenger, Danger: Diabolik, Black Sabbath, Blood and Black Lace, and Planet of the Vampires.
Elia Kazan: Wild River, The Arrangement, America America, and Splendor in the Grass.
Samuel Fuller: Shock Corridor, The Naked Kiss, Shark!, Underworld U.S.A., and Merrill's Marauders.
Robert Bresson: Au hasard Balthazar, Mouchette, The Trial of Joan of Arc, and A Gentle Woman.
Andrei Tarkovsky: Andrei Rublev and Ivan's Childhood.
Sam Peckinpah: The Wild Bunch, Major Dundee, The Deadly Companions, and Ride the High Country.
Yasujirō Ozu: Late Autumn, The End of Summer, and An Autumn Afternoon.
Robert Altman: Countdown and That Cold Day in the Park.
Francis Ford Coppola: Tonight for Sure, The Bellboy and the Playgirls, Dementia 13, You're a Big Boy Now, Finian's Rainbow, and The Rain People.
Jean-Pierre Melville: Léon Morin, Priest, Army of Shadows, Le Samouraï, Magnet of Doom, Le Doulos, and Le deuxième
Luis Buñuel: The Milky Way, Belle de Jour, Simon of the Desert, Diary of a Chambermaid, The Young One, The Exterminating Angel, and Viridiana.
John Cassavetes : Faces, A Child Is Waiting, and Too Late Blues.
Roberto Rossellini: The Taking of Power by Louis XIV, Uno sguardo dal ponte, Escape by Night, Garibaldi, Les Carabiniers, Vanina Vanini, Les Carabiniers, Anima nera, and Benito Mussolini.
Pier Paolo Pasolini: Mamma Roma, The Gospel According to St. Matthew, Accattone, The Hawks and the Sparrows, Pigsty, Theorem, Oedipus Rex, and Medea.
Howard Hawks: Man's Favorite Sport?, Red Line 7000, El Dodrado, and Hatari!.
John Schlesinger: Darling, Midnight Cowboy, Far from the Madding Crowd, A Kind of Loving, and Billy Liar.
Martin Ritt: Hud, Paris Blues, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, The Spy Who Came In from the Cold, The Outrage, Hombre, Five Branded Women, and The Brotherhood.
Jack Clayton: The Innocents, The Pumpkin Eater, and Our Mother's House.
Robert Mulligan: The Rat Race, The Great Impostor, The Spiral Road, To Kill a Mockingbird, Love with the Proper Stranger, Inside Daisy Clover, Baby the Rain Must Fall, Up the Down Staircase, and The Stalking Moon.
Satyajit Ray: Nyak, Two, Teen Kanya, Kanchenjungha, Devi, Rabindranath Tagore, Abhijan, Mahanagar, Aranyer Din Ratri, Chiriyakhana, Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne, Charulata, and Mahapurush.
Tony Richardson: Tom Jones, The Entertainer, A Subject of Scandal and Concern, A Taste of Honey, Sanctuary, Hamlet, Red and Blue, Laughter in the Dark, The Loved One, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, Mademoiselle, The Sailor from Gibraltar, The Charge of the Light Brigade, and Laughter in the Dark.
Bryan Forbes: Séance on a Wet Afternoon,Whistle Down the Wind, King Rat,The L-Shaped Room, Deadfall, The Wrong Box, The Whisperers, and The Madwoman of Chaillot.
Richard Brooks: Elmer Gantry, In Cold Blood, The Happy Ending, Sweet Bird of Youth, Lord Jim, and The Professionals.
Claude Chabrol: Les Biches, The Unfaithful Wife, The Champagne Murders, Les Bonnes Femmes, Wise Guys, The Third Lover, Landru, Ophélia, Le Tigre aime la chair fraiche, Marie-Chantal contre le docteur Kha, Our Agent Tiger, The Road to Corinth, and This Man Must Die.
Mario Monicelli: The Passionate Thief, Casanova 70, Caprice Italian Style, The Girl with the Pistol, Organizer, L'armata Brancaleone, High Infidelity, and Sex Quartet.
Norman Jewison: In the Heat of the Night, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Cincinnati Kid, The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming, Gaily, Gaily, 40 Pounds of Trouble, The Thrill of It All, Send Me No Flowers, and The Art of Love.
Gillo Pontecorvo: The Battle of Algiers, Burn!, and Paras.
Ken Russell: Song of Summer, French Dressing, Women in Love, and Billion Dollar Brain
Ken Loach: Kes and Poor Cow.
Costa-Gavras: Z, Shock Troops, and The Sleeping Car Murders
Jacques Demy: The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, The Young Girls of Rochefort, Lola, Bay of Angels, and Model Shop.
Carol Reed: Oliver!, The Running Man, and The Agony and the Ecstasy.
Fred Zinnemann: A Man for All Seasons, The Sundowners, and Behold a Pale Horse.
Arthur Penn: The Chase, Alice's Restaurant, Bonnie and Clyde, The Miracle Worker, and Mickey One.
Agnes Varda: Cléo de 5 à 7, Le Bonheur, Lions from love, Les Créatures, and Loin du Vietnam.
Masaki Kobayashi: Harakiri, Samurai Rebellion, The Inheritance, A Soldier's Prayer, Hymn to a Tired Man, and Kwaidan.
Otto Preminger: Advise & Consent, Exodus, The Cardinal, Bunny Lake Is Missing, In Harm's Way, Skidoo, and Hurry Sundown.
Stanley Donen: Charade, Two for the Road, The Grass Is Greener, Surprise Package, and Once More, with Feeling!.
Nicholas Ray: The Savage Innocents, 55 Days at Peking, and King of Kings.
Luis García Berlanga: Long Live the Bride and Groom, Three Fables of Love, The Executioner, Plácido, and La boutique.
Walerian Borowczyk: Mr. and Mrs. Kabal's Theatre, Renaissance, and Goto, Island of Love.
Karel Reisz: Isadora, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, Night Must Fall, and Morgan – A Suitable Case for Treatment.
Joseph Losey: Eva, The Criminal, The Damned, King and Country, The Servant, Boom!, Accident, Secret Ceremony, and Modesty Blaise.
Mark Robson: Daddy's Gone A-Hunting, Von Ryan's Express, The Prize, Valley of the Dolls, The Inspector, Nine Hours to Rama, Lost Command, and From the Terrace.
Richard Fleischer: Che!, Fantastic Voyage, The Big Gamble, Barabbas, The Boston Strangler, Doctor Dolittle, and Crack in the Mirror,
Vincente Minnelli: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, The Courtship of Eddie's Father, Two Weeks in Another Town, The Sandpiper, Home from the Hill, Bells Are Ringing, and Goodbye Charlie.
Louis Malle: Zazie dans le Métro, Spirits of the Dead, Viva Maria!, A Very Curious Girl, The Fire Within, The Thief of Paris, and A Very Private Affair.
Alain Resnais: Last Year at Marienbad, Muriel, The War Is Over, and Je t'aime, je t'aime.
Eric Rohmer: Le Signe du Lion, My Night at Maud's, La Collectionneuse, The Bakery Girl of Monceau, and Suzanne's Career.
Milos Forman: Loves of a Blonde, The Firemen's Ball, and Black Peter.
George Sidney: Pepe, Bye Bye Birdie, Half a Sixpence, Viva Las Vegas, A Ticklish Affair, and The Swinger.

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"

Oklahoma City's event list.

Ongoing

• Prairie Moderns: The Artwork of Don Holladay (University of Science & Arts of Oklahoma - Chickasha) Thru Fri, Mar 16th Come to the Nesbitt Gallery at the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma for an exhibition of works by Oklahoma…

Wednesday, Feb 21st

• ♪ Anthem Drown Night! (HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
• 🎨 Beyond ART: Lunch with an Artist - Beth Hammack (JRB Art at the Elms - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:30pm Bring your lunch and join us for our BEYOND ART: Lunch with an Artist Series. Eat, converse, and make connections to our art and artists. Artist Beth Hammack will be in attendance. Artwork: https://www.jrbartgallery.com/artist/Beth_Hammack/works/list/
• Bi-Weekly Meetup (51st st. Speakeasy - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm
• 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Baseball vs Southwestern (Edmond) Start Time: 2:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Baseball vs Southwestern http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5869
• 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Women's Tennis vs Cameron (Edmond) Start Time: 1:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Women's Tennis vs Cameron http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5653
• Hippie Sabotage (Farmer's Market - Oklahoma City)
• Lyric Theatre's Crowns: A Gospel Musical (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Start Time: 7:00pm Get ready for an uplifting celebration of life as Lyric Theatre presents: Crowns. This show, which will be held at…
• NF (Diamond Ballroom - Oklahoma City) With chart-topping hits under his belt, NF is well versed in the art of performance and songwriting. Fans can hear some…
• NF | OKC (Diamond Ballroom - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm NF Wed - Feb 21 Diamond Ballroom Oklahoma City, OK PERCEPTION TOUR Tickets On Sale FRI 10/13 at 10am Ticket Link: http://bit.ly/nf_OKC Buy For Less Stores & Uptown Grocery in OKC Brady Box Office & Starship Records in Tulsa Charge by phone @ 866.977.6849 online @ protix.com Doors open at 6:30pm All Ages Welcome
• OU Sooners vs Abilene Christian Wildcats (L. Dale Mitchell Baseball Park - Norman) Cheer on the OU Sooners as they take on the Abilene Christian Wildcats in Norman. The University of Oklahoma…
• OU Sooners vs Iowa State Cyclones (The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) Head to Norman to watch as the Oklahoma Sooners Women's Basketball take on the Iowa State Cyclones. Since the…
• 🏆 ROAP Certificate Course at Remington Park (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00am
• Saints - Aaron Hale & The Human Beings (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
• SHIFT (Factory Obscura - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Join the creatives behind the OKC art collective Factory Obscura for a fully-immersive, experiential art…
• 😂 Steve McGrew (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Feb 24th
• Sunbeam Family Services (Othello's - Edmond) Start Time: 10:00am
• Together OK Moore Meeting (The Boxcar - Moore) Start Time: 5:30pm If you live in the Moore area, come join our first meeting of the Moore Chapter of Together Oklahoma! We'll discuss legislative priorities like the importance of adequitely funding vital state services, how we can talk to our elected representatives about these priorities, and how we can help move our state forward towards a prosperous Oklahoma.…
• Waxahatchee et al. (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Enjoy an evening of lo-fi musical magic when Waxahatchee takes over OKC's historic Tower Theatre. At the heart of…
• Wednesday Game Night (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Play the games you love for jackpots and then play more games you love for Extra Cash & Prizes on Game Night at Remington Park, every Wednesday! Starting at 6pm on Wednesday nights at Remington Park, just make sure to use your Club Remington Card as you play in the casino. Doing so may get you selected via hot seat drawings to make Free Spins,…

Thursday, Feb 22nd

• 2018 Job Fair (Oklahoma City Dodgers - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 4:00pm The OKC Dodgers are seeking multi-talented, highly motivated team players to join our seasonal staff! Available positions include: • Ushers • Gate Attendants • Ticket Window Attendants • Retail Workers • Field Crew • Cashiers • Cooks • Kitchen/Stand Managers • Premium-Level Wait Staff The Job Fair will be held in the Legends…
• 🎓 Atlantis Aquarius / Acie James (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm Atlantis Aquarius out of Texas make their second ever Deli appearance with their brand of country rock and psych. With the constellations in mind it could also be called Astro rock and cosmic country. https://www.atlantisaquarius.org/
  Andy Brewer aka Acie James also shares the bill. Action at 10pm. 21+ $5
  
• 🍴 Big Read Book Discussion: Five Skies by Ron Carlson (Pioneer Library System - Tecumseh) Start Time: 6:30pm Join us for a potluck meal and lively book discussion of the 2018 PLS Big Read title, "Five Skies" by author Ron Carlson. Get your free book by checking with the information desk, while supplies last. Digital versions are available on Overdrive. The discussion will be led by award winning author Rilla Askew. Rilla Askew is a novelist and short…
  
• Brandon Hobson to sign Where the Dead Sit Talking (Full Circle Bookstore - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm Set in rural Oklahoma during the late 1980s, Where the Dead Sit Talking is a startling, authentically voiced and lyrically written Native American coming-of-age story.
  With his single mother in jail, Sequoya, a fifteen-year-old Cherokee boy, is placed in foster care with the Troutt family. Literally and figuratively scarred by his mother's…
  
• 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Men's Basketball vs Washburn (Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm University of Central Oklahoma Men's Basketball vs Washburn http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5790
  
• 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Texas A&M-Commerce (Edmond) Start Time: 1:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Texas A&M-Commerce http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5795
  
• 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Texas A&M-Commerce (Edmond) Start Time: 3:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Texas A&M-Commerce http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5796
  
• 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Women's Basketball vs Washburn (Edmond) Start Time: 5:30pm University of Central Oklahoma Women's Basketball vs Washburn http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5758
  
• ♪ CMGT: Dan Martin // Brad Fielder (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Country Music Group Therapy presents Dan Martin Music and Brad Fielder for another round of songs being swapped, red cups being quaffed and you not getting completely sloshed--'cause it's an early show, dammit! Free, 7-9 pm
  
• 🎨 Drink + Draw (Evoke - Edmond) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us as we host our very first Drink and Draw at EVOKE! Wine and Beer will be $1 off ($4 after tax) all night. Drink stuff. Draw stuff. Hang! This will be a monthly event!
  
• 🎨 Lewis & Clark Revisited, OLLI OSU afternoon class (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:30pm Instructor: Western historian and educator Luann Sewell Waters. The journey made by the Corps of Discovery, led by Lewis and William Clark, is looked upon as the opening of the American West. Explore the journey through journal entries, works of art, historical photos, and more. This class, held at the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum,…
  
• Lyric Theatre's Crowns: A Gospel Musical (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Start Time: 7:00pm Get ready for an uplifting celebration of life as Lyric Theatre presents: Crowns. This show, which will be held at…
  
• Meditation Class (St Stephen's United Methodist - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Weekly meditation and discussion group conducted by the monks from Oklahoma Buddhist Vihara.
  St. Stephens UMC 6-7pm Look for the shoes.
  
• Moms' Night Out (Edmond) Start Time: 4:00pm Join us for the Launch of the renovated "Back Room". Lots of fun, food, prizes and friendship.
  
• Old Town Moore Public Meeting (Moore Central Park - Moore) Start Time: 6:30pm We invite you to come, share, and discuss Old Town Moore's history, culture and existing conditions that will help shape our community and future development within Old Town Moore.
  
• Saints - Jared Cathey Quartet (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  
• ♪ School of Music: Kuleshov International Piano Competition (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Thru Sat, Feb 24th Start Time: 7:30pm
  
• SHIFT (Factory Obscura - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Join the creatives behind the OKC art collective Factory Obscura for a fully-immersive, experiential art…
  
• 😂 Steve McGrew (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Feb 24th
  
• Stinky Gringos (Blue Note - Oklahoma City)
  
• 🏆 Surf and Turf at The Bricktown Brewery at Remington Park (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 4:00pm
  
• Together Oklahoma - Norman Chapter Monthly Meeting (Interurban Restaurant - Norman) Start Time: 5:30pm We are a nonpartisan group that encourages and helps citiizens become more engaged with their state legislature on a personal basis. We focus on budget issues but also health, mental health, criminal justice reform, education, etc. We are sponsored by the Oklahoma Policty Institute.
  
• ♪ Unlocking the West, OLLI OSU class (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:30am The National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum’s Glenn D. Shirley Western Americana Collection is a treasure trove of documents, photographs, movie memorabilia, books, and magazines. This series provides an overview about this fascinating collection in storage and online and showcases the art of paperback book covers for western tales of…
  

Friday, Feb 23rd

• 🏆 Oklahoma City Blue G-League TICKETS (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm
• 🏆 Oklahoma City Blue vs. Austin Spurs (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm
• Blue Water Highway Band (VZD's - Oklahoma City)
• ♪ Brothers Griiin (of The Flaming Lips) // DJ Laine // Nix Nix (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm Brothers Griiin (of The Flaming Lips) take over The Deli with their musical sidekicks DJ Laine and Nix Nix. Put your VIP party face on and witness the gladiators of style and taste as they wreck your eardrums. 10pm $5 21+ http://newsok.com/article/5528084
• 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Women's Tennis vs Dallas Baptist (Edmond) Start Time: 3:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Women's Tennis vs Dallas Baptist http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5654
• Crobone (EP release), Psychotic Reaction, Metabaron (Blue Note - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm Crobone (EP release party) https://www.facebook.com/croboneok/ Psychotic Reaction psychoticreaction.bandcamp.com Metabaron
• 🎓 Doc Doc Goose (Edmond Fine Arts - Edmond) Start Time: 7:00pm Just think about those old-fashioned nursery rhymes and it's easy to see why Mother Goose went to medical school and opened up a clinic in Nurseryland. There's no "happily ever after" here! These poor nursery rhyme characters are plagued with freak accidents! A typical morning in Dr. Goose's clinic includes a cow with a sore calf from…
• Front Men Of Country Music (Firelake Arena - Shawnee)
• ♪ Funny AF Friday Comedy Show (ICE Event Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm Funny AF Fridays is the weekly comedy show that features celebrity comedians and provides a platform for local comedians to get their shine. If you are interested in getting your "5 min" of comedy, contact Marc Flemon at 4052084240.
• KC & the Sunshine Band in Concert (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Get ready to "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty" with KC & the Sunshine Band at the Riverwind Casino…
• ♪ Kevin Welch At Blue Door To Celebrate The Release Of Kevin Welch The Dead Reckoning Years (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
• 🎨 Kevin Welch Vinyl Release (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Kevin Welch – “ The Dead Reckoning Years” double album. Limited Edition of 500, signed and numbered. Tracks re-mastered by Alex McCollough and original artwork by Olivia Hellman. We’re excited to announce that the pre-sale is now available on this limited edition retrospective of Kevin’s tracks during the Reckoner years. Click below to…
• Leake Collector Car Show & Auction (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 The Leake Auction Company will present their annual Oklahoma City auction in the Cox Pavilion at Oklahoma's State…
• Lyric Theatre's Crowns: A Gospel Musical (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Start Time: 7:00pm Get ready for an uplifting celebration of life as Lyric Theatre presents: Crowns. This show, which will be held at…
• ♪ Martin & Lewis Love Italian Style (The Yellow Rose Dinner Theatre - Moore) Start Time: 6:30pm Come join us for a very special Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis Show, Love Italian Style. Comedy, music, live skits you never know what Jerry might do. A very special tribute show to the kings of comedy, with an awesome meal of your choice of Smoked Chicken or Barbecue Brisket and if your in VIP seating you can get Italian food. Call now for a…
• Michael Cavanaugh - Songs of Elton John (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Join the Oklahoma City Philharmonic's Pops Concert Series for a memorable performance starring Michael Cavanaugh.…
• ♪ Midtown Rotary Spelling Beer (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm The OKC Midtown Rotary Spelling Bee/Beer Tasting fundraiser everyone loves is back! Bigger, better and now in the historic Tower Theatre in Uptown! For the cost of your ticket you get food, beer, and entrance into the Spelling Bee! Several local breweries will be on hand to provide a variety of beer tastings. Don't worry, you don't HAVE to enter…
• 🎓 Multicultural Education Institute (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 12:00pm The 35th annual Multicultural Education Institute (MEI) at UCO is set for Feb. 23-24 at the Nigh University Center. Samuel Betances, Ph.D., will provide the keynote on Feb. 23. Other speakers include: Sedelta Oohsahwee, senior program/policy analyst/specialist at National Education Association in Washington, D.C.; Bill Pink, Ph.D., president of…
• OU Sooners vs Texas Tech Red Raiders (The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Head to Norman to watch as the Oklahoma Sooners Women's Basketball take on the Texas Tech Red Raiders. Since the…
• Pink & Black Ball 2018 (Molly Shi Boren Ballroom - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm
• 🍴 Restaurant Week (Edmond Chamber of Commerce - Edmond) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am It's that time of year again! Discover Edmond's great Eats and Drinks during Edmond Restaurant Week 2018: Feb. 23- March 2. All you have to do is show the special menu at a participating restaurant location and get great food for great prices! Menus can be found on the Chamber website at:…
• Saints - Stephen Salewon Band (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm
• ♪ School of Music: Kuleshov International Piano Competition (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) 1 day left Start Time: 7:30pm
• SHIFT (Factory Obscura - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Join the creatives behind the OKC art collective Factory Obscura for a fully-immersive, experiential art…
• Spring Remodel and Landscape Show (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:00pm
• 😂 Steve McGrew (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
• ♪ World Premieres from the Composers of Project 21 (Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Join the composers of Project 21: Music for the Twenty First Century for an eclectic Friday night program of OCU-created world premieres. Music begins 8 p.m. in the BMC's Medium Rehearsal Hall. Free and open to all!

Saturday, Feb 24th

• 2018 Job Fair (Oklahoma City Dodgers - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am The OKC Dodgers are seeking multi-talented, highly motivated team players to join our seasonal staff! Available positions include: • Ushers • Gate Attendants • Ticket Window Attendants • Retail Workers • Field Crew • Cashiers • Cooks • Kitchen/Stand Managers • Premium-Level Wait Staff The Job Fair will be held in the Legends…
• 🏆 Oklahoma City Blue vs. Delaware 87ers (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Cheer on the OKC Blue as they take on the Delaware 87ers at the Cox Convention Center in downtown Oklahoma City. Get in…
• 🎨 Coffee with the Artist featuring Suzanne Randall (Howell Gallery - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:00am Coffee with the Artist featuring Suzanne Randall. Join us for coffee and chat with Suzanne while seeing her new paintings and ceramic bird brains.
• 🎨 Creature Creations Family Workshop (Sam Noble Museum - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am What would a painting created by a bird look like? How could an Apatosaurus reach the paper to draw a portrait? Capture the wonder of the wild as we explore silly ways to make art like the animals do. We’ll get inspiration from exploring the amazing animals in our museum galleries and investigate creative art techniques. This event is for…
• 🎓 Free Device Workshop to Winterize your Phone (US Cellular - Midwest City) Start Time: 9:00am The cold temperatures can be taxing on people and even technology. As you layer your clothing in preparation for wintry conditions, don’t forget to protect your mobile device with the latest accessories.
  U.S. Cellular will host a free Device Workshop in Midwest City on February 24th from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. at 101 N Douglas, Suite J, where…
  
• 🎓 Free Device Workshop to Winterize your Phone (U.S. Cellular - Moore) Start Time: 9:00am The cold temperatures can be taxing on people and even technology. As you layer your clothing in preparation for wintry conditions, don’t forget to protect your mobile device with the latest accessories. U.S. Cellular will host a free Device Workshop in Moore on February 24th from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. at 705 SW 19th Street, where associates will…
  
• 🎓 Free Device Workshop to Winterize your Phone (U.S. Cellular - Norman) Start Time: 9:00am The cold temperatures can be taxing on people and even technology. As you layer your clothing in preparation for wintry conditions, don’t forget to protect your mobile device with the latest accessories.
  U.S. Cellular will host a free Device Workshop in Norman on February 24th from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. at 1411 24th Ave. N.W., where associates…
  
• 🎓 Free Device Workshop to Winterize your Phone (U.S. Cellular - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am The cold temperatures can be taxing on people and even technology. As you layer your clothing in preparation for wintry conditions, don’t forget to protect your mobile device with the latest accessories.
  U.S. Cellular will host a free Device Workshop in Oklahoma City on February 24th from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. at 7000 N.W. Expressway Suite A,…
  
• 🎓 Free Device Workshop to Winterize your Phone (U.S. Cellular - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:00am The cold temperatures can be taxing on people and even technology. As you layer your clothing in preparation for wintry conditions, don’t forget to protect your mobile device with the latest accessories.
  U.S. Cellular will host a free Device Workshop in Oklahoma City on February 24th from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. at 9200 S Pennsylvania Ave, where…
  
• Friends of the Metropolitan Library System Annual Book Sale (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 The Friends of the Metropolitan Library System Annual Booksale is one of the biggest yearly book sales in the state and…
  
• Leake Collector Car Show & Auction (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 The Leake Auction Company will present their annual Oklahoma City auction in the Cox Pavilion at Oklahoma's State…
  
• Lyric Theatre's Crowns: A Gospel Musical (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 7:00pm Get ready for an uplifting celebration of life as Lyric Theatre presents: Crowns. This show, which will be held at…
  
• Michael Cavanaugh - Songs of Elton John (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Join the Oklahoma City Philharmonic's Pops Concert Series for a memorable performance starring Michael Cavanaugh.…
  
• 🏃 ODHA Mighty Mouth 5K and Fun Run (Stars & Stripes Park - Oklahoma City) Funds from the 5K & Fun Run will be used to educate the public about oral hygiene, to improve access to preventive care for the underserved and invest in mobile/portable dental equipment and supplies to use in future public health projects such as health fairs, school screenings, sealant programs and projects for underserved children and adults…
  
• Oklahoma Motorcycle & Car Show (Oklahoma State Fairgrounds Jim Norick Arena - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 10:00am The annual Oklahoma Motorcycle & Car Show held at State Fair Park in Oklahoma City is a great opportunity to see classic and modern cars as well as get some great deals on parts and accessories at the swap meet. There will be rare antique and one-of-a-kind custom motorcycles and cars on display for your enjoyment. The day also includes a live…
  
• Oklahoma Motorcycle Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 The annual Oklahoma Motorcycle & Car Show held at State Fair Park in Oklahoma City is a great opportunity to see…
  
• Harrah Open Disc Golf Tournament (Harrah Heritage Park - Harrah) Whether you're a disc golf fanatic or just love to play, head to Harrah for a great time at the annual Harrah Open…
  
• OU Sooners vs Kansas State Wildcats (The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) Experience the action and excitement in Norman as the Oklahoma Sooners take on the Kansas State Wildcats. Since the…
  
• OU Sooners vs Texas Tech Red Raiders (The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) 1 day left Head to Norman to watch as the Oklahoma Sooners Women's Basketball take on the Texas Tech Red Raiders. Since the…
  
• 🏆 Oklahoma City Polar Plunge (White Water Bay - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am
  

  Freezin' for a Reason! To learn more and/or register, please visit https://www.mysook.org/oklahomacitypolarplunge. ❄️

  What is a Plunge? A Polar Plunge is a fundraising challenge made to an individual or group challenging them to dive into a cold body of water in order to raise money for Special Olympics. Each participant collects pledges…
  
• 🍴 Restaurant Week (Edmond Chamber of Commerce - Edmond) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am It's that time of year again! Discover Edmond's great Eats and Drinks during Edmond Restaurant Week 2018: Feb. 23- March 2. All you have to do is show the special menu at a participating restaurant location and get great food for great prices! Menus can be found on the Chamber website at:…
  
• ♪ School of Music: Kuleshov International Piano Competition (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Last Day Start Time: 7:30pm
  
• SHIFT (Factory Obscura - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Join the creatives behind the OKC art collective Factory Obscura for a fully-immersive, experiential art…
  
• 😂 Steve McGrew (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
  
• Thunder Run (Bricktown Entertainment District - Oklahoma City) Embark on an energizing run through the Bricktown Entertainment District during the Thunder 5K. This Oklahoma City…
  
• 🏃 Thunder Run (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Join us for Rumble’s Family Fun Run and the Thunder 5K on Saturday, February 24, 2018. The route will begin at Chesapeake Energy Arena, wind through downtown Oklahoma City, and will end on Center Court at Chesapeake Energy Arena. All proceeds will benefit the Thunder Cares Foundation.
  

Sunday, Feb 25th

• The 2nd Annual Producer Competition (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 2:00pm
• Donavon Frankenreiter (VZD's - Oklahoma City)
• Friends of the Metropolitan Library System Annual Book Sale (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 The Friends of the Metropolitan Library System Annual Booksale is one of the biggest yearly book sales in the state and…
• International Food Festival (Oklahoma Academy - Harrah) Take a culinary world tour at the Oklahoma Academy in Harrah. Explore vegetarian foods from many different countries…
• Lyric Theatre's Crowns: A Gospel Musical (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 7:00pm Get ready for an uplifting celebration of life as Lyric Theatre presents: Crowns. This show, which will be held at…
• Oklahoma Motorcycle & Car Show (Oklahoma State Fairgrounds Jim Norick Arena - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 10:00am The annual Oklahoma Motorcycle & Car Show held at State Fair Park in Oklahoma City is a great opportunity to see classic and modern cars as well as get some great deals on parts and accessories at the swap meet. There will be rare antique and one-of-a-kind custom motorcycles and cars on display for your enjoyment. The day also includes a live…
• Oklahoma Motorcycle Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 The annual Oklahoma Motorcycle & Car Show held at State Fair Park in Oklahoma City is a great opportunity to see…
• OU Sooners vs Texas Tech Red Raiders (The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) Last Day Head to Norman to watch as the Oklahoma Sooners Women's Basketball take on the Texas Tech Red Raiders. Since the…
• Pirates, Sailors & the Sea (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Bring your little ones out to the Oklahoma City Cic Center Music Hall for a day of "Pirates, Sailors & the…
• Saints - Grand Delusions: an OKC StorySLAM (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm
• SHIFT (Factory Obscura - Oklahoma City) Last Day Join the creatives behind the OKC art collective Factory Obscura for a fully-immersive, experiential art…
• The Venue OKC - Open Mic Night (The Venue OKC - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm

Monday, Feb 26th

• Saints - Lyricist Lounge (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:30pm
• 🏆 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Orlando Magic (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Experience the thrill of fast-paced pro basketball as the Oklahoma City Thunder take on the Orlando Magic. Wear your…

Tuesday, Feb 27th

• The Ghost of Paul Revere in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Get ready to stomp and shout as The Ghost of Paul Revere takes over OKC's historic Tower Theatre for a very special…

See Also

• OK Gamers
• Techlahoma