I want to preface that the contents of this post is for informational purposes. I do not condone or approve of any harassments or witch-hunting or the attacking of anybody.
 
Richard Lewis recently did a stream talking about the terrible state of CS esports and I thought it was an important stream anyone who cares about the CS community should listen to.
Vod Link here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830415547
I realize it is 3 hours long so I took it upon myself to create a list of interesting points from the stream so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, although I still encourage you to do so if you can.
I know this post is still long but probably easier to digest, especially in parts.
Here is a link to my raw notes if you for some reason want to read through this which includes some omitted stuff. It's in chronological order of things said in the stream and has some time stamps. https://pastebin.com/6QWTLr8T

Intro

• "The last month has convinced me, that we are going to be heading into a dark place for Counter-Strike esports in 2021."
  • "I think I've seen the scene essentially kill itself."
• "For the past 5 to 6 years, we've basically been in a holding pattern of people coming into our game wanting to run it, wanting to run all of the esports and wanting to profiteer and its been sort of a concerted effort to drive them off and push them away."
  • "We're spread way too thin."
• "If Riot don't get involved and stop the scumbags that have moved over to Valorant from getting their feet under the table, Valorant is going to have real problems."
• RL thinks too much has happened all at once for us to do anything except watch it play out, like:
  • Recent CSPPA strike against BLAST
  • ESIC failures and them not being supported enough
  • Teams cheating i.e. coaches/bugs
  • Widespread match fixing
  • The Pandemic
    • "People who try to hold bubble events are so incompetent and fuck up and people get the 'rona and its their fault."
    • "People who say Flashpoint is a bubble is full of shit and is a lie and people are now suffering for that lie."
      • "To save money they let people go home and break the bubble for a week."
      • "Not just Flashpoint peoples decision, they have a partner that handles the production." (hinting FACEIT)
      • "People are trapped in hotels essentially under house arrest because of COVID restrictions and has fucked peoples lives up."
• "It's all too much, all of this incompetence, all of this greed, maybe we ride it out."
  • RL says he has talked to the Riot devs (the ones working on Valorant) and says, "They are so cognizant of all the fuck ups and all the problems we have in Counter-Strike."
    • He continues to say that this is factored into their business plan and that we never had a competitor, but just so happens to have one coincide, when we are at our worst.

CSPPA - Counter-Strike Professional Players' Association

"Who does this union really fucking serve?"

• RL believes that the CSPPA is a mockery.
  
  • He points out the hypocrisy that they wouldn't strike for the pros who were kicked out of ESL Pro League, or for Jamppi or dream3r.
    • He also says ESL paid CSPPA and are racketeering and many other TOs have to pay them to get their "seal of approval"
      • He says they would strong-arm TOs saying "well if you don't give us the money, these guys are so we'll just have to commit to playing their event."
    • Also points out that they will strike against a competitor they are not in agreement with (Flashpoint)
    • RL: "It's what it says about every other time you haven't done it and it's about every time you don't do it now moving forward." "The issues they've chosen to ignore this year alone are embarrassing."
    • Then he points out that there was no strike for Valve qualifiers even if we have no major but Jamppi and dream3r can't play in them.
      • "and Valve have said 'Oh yeah we know actually their stories are accurate, Jamppi didn't cheat, now in a legally binding document. Yep dream3r did have his account hacked in a LAN café', but they still can't play. Where is the fucking solidarity? Gone. Doesn't exist. It's not important [because] it doesn't affect you." "That's what the union does right now, it looks after all the tier 1 people."
• He says the CSPPA doesn't represent all players all the time and has driven a divide where you have the haves and have-nots
  
  • "We have a tier of players that operate with impunity and do not help their tier 2 or tier 3 players out at all." "If you are not a tier 1 player you do not matter, they don't event ask your opinion."
  • He tells chrisJ to admit and own the fact that the reason he didn't speak up during the ESL Pro League debacle is because it didn't affect him
  • "They are looking after some players at the expense of other players. How the fuck is that a union?"
• He says the BLAST situation is a reasonable dispute and supports the players but is not the right time for a strike and have not even identified the correct enemy
  
  • He thinks players are lashing out now due to previous incidents and are upset that BLAST are working with ESIC
    • He stated that CSPPA shouldn't beefing with ESIC and they should be working in harmony
  • He says what they need to do is talk with the teams/organizations that have sold that right to BLAST
    • RL: "Your employers, the people who pay you that massive exorbitant salaries, when you don't stream and you don't do interviews and you offer no value beyond your ability to click heads and you get 25k dollars a month." "Why don't you talk to them about it? Oh right. You're happy to take away BLAST's paper, but you don't want to risk your own."
  • "I am seeing such unbelievable cowardice from the players here with the battles you choose."
  • "Where was the strike action when in the qualifiers for the world championship, there were teams and players engaged in huge conflicts of interest?" "Where was the strike action when your image rights were taken and sold to every league you've ever been in every union type organization you've ever been associated with like, WESA, to your org every time you sign a contract, to the leagues you play in."
    • "Your image rights are essentially worthless now, there's about 10 fucking separate parties that have them, and how many of them are giving you anything for it? Not much pretty much your org by the way."
    • "That's a big issue. Your image is you, your image is your brand. What are you doing about that? Nothing."
• He is also angry at SirScoots who is "popping off" at people on Twitter who all want the same thing, which is 'A unified Counter-Strike scene for everybody, that works for everybody, that has a sustained ecosystem that nourishes everybody.' "We don't have that now."
  
• He also says their rankings are a joke
  
  • "Just so happened, oh look TACO, that very important prominent member of the board, we pushed his team artificially up when they weren't even in the fucking top 20, not by a long shot."
• He also says the ineptitude of the CSPPA cost Flashpoint a monitor sponsor
  
• "Is it really a player association or is it like a fucking agency at this point"
  

ESIC - Esports Integrity Commission

"They have been put in an impossible position."

• RL says that Ian Smith, the founder of ESIC and who was done work in mainstream sports, is a good and honorable man who has dedicated his life to integrity and sports. He takes on both sides, ensuring match fixers are punished, but also doing appeals and ensuring those punishments were fair.
• "ESIC is a tiny organization" and are in need of money, "They didn't run a grift like the CSPPA did."
  • "Saying 'you want our support and you want the players to turn up you better pay us.' They don't do that."
  • "Had startup seed money from MTG and since then they've been pecking shit with the hens."
    • Ian Smith made sure that the money given by MTG (Modern Times Group, parent company of ESL, ESEA, DreamHack) was nothing more than startup money and wouldn't be in debt to them
      • Ian Smith sat down with other TO's not part of MTG and wanted to partner with them. They declined and called ESIC "ESL spies and we will never align ourselves with you"
  • "They only were just able to afford, hiring a PR guy on a full time salary to deal with the press and send out those releases you've seen, this year."
    • "They have a tiny group of staff investigating these things and they have taken on the biggest problems in our scene: the cheating, the match fixing."
• ESIC have had "unprecedented levels of cheating to deal with, because there's something wrong with our scene ever since we went online. There's something wrong with it, everyone's lost their fucking pride and self-respect and they got no passion for it anymore, so they think fuck it, what's in it for me?"
  • He calls out coaches who are talking about players rights when they would rob and steal from them.
    • Also says more coaches being banned are coming
    • He also points out flaws in community's reaction to the punishments to coaches bans: "Half of the cunts still have jobs and some of the cunts got new jobs. We didn't even shun the cheating coaches."
• ESIC have "found I think another 2 or 3 exploits like that one and they are investigating them all right now, it's going on right now."
  
  • "I know that there are going to be more names getting banned, again."
  • "So they're doing that on a skeleton crew while, investigating 3 continents worth of match fixing in MDL and semi-pro level CS." "They're doing this with half a dozen people." "They don't have any money or any help. People barely even fucking cooperate with them, they are treated like pariahs. It's ridiculous."
    • "Why are the CSPPA popping off at ESIC on my Twitter timeline, when you should be working together." "because its all about what's in it in for me." "2020, the online era of CS: 'What is in it for me?' How can I cheat, how can I get my paper, how can I bleed this scene one last time before I fuck off and play shooty shooty bang bang Riot Games babys first fps."
• RL says that in the CIS region, teams have gone to tournaments and have been eliminated multiple times by the same team. We found out they were cheating and those players who lost, have been cut from their roster, careers ended because of cheaters.
  

Stream Sniping

"They're all at it in the online era, they're all at it, they're all cheating, they're all using exploits, probably that see through smoke bug got used a bunch of times"

• RL talks about how there is no integrity from dead (the player), always denying when caught doing something
  • On the topic of 'BLAST never said we couldn't stream snipe': "Lies, BLAST never said you could do that, they had to sort of retcon it." "because what happened after that they fucking started snitching and squealing"
    • "Suddenly you had like, 10 of the top 15 teams in the world, staring into the abyss of being banned for 6-12 months in line with ESIC recommendations."
      • He says that ESIC was put in a tough situation and couldn't enforce the bans because it would have resulted in killing CS. What resulted was, BLAST, ESIC, and teams came together and gave them a warning and told them, in RL's words "don't do this again or you're gonna get got."
        • He then says the top teams brushed this off and didn't give a fuck
        • The new MiBR team playing Flashpoint, that wasn't involved in the previous incidents are doing it again (stream sniping). He gave credit to Flashpoint for the quick resolution and punishment and respect for cogu's response to the situation.
        • "ESIC came out and said, once more, 'Guys, zero tolerance from now on.'" RL then got upset at community's reaction calling ESIC "pussies" for their non enforcement and said if we want competitive CS we cant ban the top 10 teams.
• He points out how players have no integrity and will do anything for an edge as long as they won't get detected or banned or it's within a grey area.
• "All of this shit was mad avoidable, even in the pandemic era."
  • He talks about why aren't we filming them. Why aren't there representatives for leagues and tournaments making sure players aren't cheating?

Match Fixing

"How many years have we let our scene be fucking pillaged by these greedy cunts?" "We just let it happen."

• RL says that gambling and skins betting which existed in moderation was "accelerated and blown up by the Call of Duty greedy fucks."
  • "Never forget TmarTn was on the board of EnVyUs." "His website, CSGOLotto, they had a bunch of off-the-books sponsorships." "NBK promoted them. People forget."
• "Those people who had access to the skins, go to the players" "Even people like s1mple, best player in the world, even he scammed knives and skins off fucking fans."
• Owners of skin casino sites would approach pros and lend them skins to use in tournaments and possibly keep them after reaching a deal
  • Players would tip off inside info about matches and teams in exchange for skins. Info such as: roster changes, how they played in scrims
    • They would use this info to bet and subvert the odds on their sites. "That happened religiously, I can't even tell you how many times it happened."
      • "I had access to the biggest database of information, from an inside betting circle in NA, and it would take information and screenshots from other pro players, who were feeding them info in exchange for money or skins."
        • "Some of these players are still playing." "Incredibly, there are players still in the CSPPA today, complaining about the BLAST recordings, that were embroiled in this murky shit back then."
• RL also says that there were tournaments where teams contrived with each other, who should throw, who should win.
• "There's a handful of people that are trying to fucking clean it up, and you think you get something over the line and you see something like the CSPPA and it's run by corrupt fucking chuckle heads, and now you've got another corrupt body you have to fight on a fucking daily basis, it's demoralizing."
  • "It's too far gone. Our entire semi-professional scene is compromised."
• "It's rife guys, I'm not going to lie any more. It's not just China, it's not just Russia, it's here, it's NA, it's Europe, it's Australia, so much more than you think, so much more than we can prove."
  • "I get sent chat logs all the time […] and they're morons, these players, short-sighted, amateur, morons and they're doing it on WhatsApp." People would get cut from the bets because they want to make more money, then they leak the logs. He says, from the chat logs, they spread "little" bets across every site they can (400 to 1k dollars) to prevent shifting odds
• He says the scumbags who've fucked off to Valorant will do the same there if Riot doesn't do something and says Valorant "is an esports scene heading for a very early fall based on the sheer volume of scumbags that are already there."
• "That's tier 2 CS in a nutshell these days. They know they're never going to play in a major, so what's the punishment?"
  • "All of these tier 2 fucks that are fixing games now they are like the fucking mafia compared to iBuyPower" "These guys are working with organized criminals to fix entire seasons worth of games. That's what's going on in your tier 2 CS."
• "I'm literally being told that there are players fixing games at all levels of Chinese esports and motherfuckers with guns are turning up to team houses and stuff."

North America

"Everyone in NA has left we've lost a continents worth of support during this pandemic and Valve haven't said a fucking word."

• RL says the Call of Duty "goblins" that destroyed CS for years are the same people who are now trying to leave CS. "The nerve to treat a game where the fans, and the community, and the TO's were nothing but good to you." "To just kick the players out now and go and leave and say 'It just doesn't make financial sense.' Oh you'll slither back when we have a major though for them stickers won't you."
• There's a cascading effect in NA where people don't bother with CS anymore and people like Chaos suffer.
• He says NA team owners are incompetent for always wanting it easy and always wanting a guarantee on their investment without skill or nuance.
  • RL says he would be able to market a team correctly and would have a good ROI and also points out how TSM wouldn't even be bothered to tweet that their team, which was one of the best in the world, was playing at the Major.
  • He also says not all NA owners are like that, compliments and respects Jason Lake who nearly lost everything to keep Complexity going.
• He then calls out the incompetence in Infinite Esports when they acquired OpTic Gaming and bought an Indian CS team.
  • He says HECZ is not to blame here and that they couldn't tell forsaken was cheating when it was so obvious.
    • They measured his reaction time to the likes of dev1ce and s1mple
    • When an enemy showed up on his screen he won that duel something like 44% of the time
    • "was like the number 1 player in the world statistically"
    • He brought a laptop to their bootcamp and refused to use the high end PCs that hey provided
• He respects Andy Miller (NRG CEO) and HECZ but says that the attitude of not being able to easily monetize their teams is "piss weak" and there needs to be a risk.
  • He says Chaos EC shouldn't be cutting their roster and should be competent enough to be able to figure out how to make money off their team.
• He says there are still opportunities in NA and people are panicking and pulling out, and says Valorant will be the same if not worse.
  • He also says "bums" who couldn't even get out of groups in NA competitions, are making crazy money in Valorant and says it will continue to inflate.
• He also said that he heard rumors that EG (Evil Geniuses) are done.
• He also thinks that the rumors of a Valve franchised league from before was sparked up from "these lazy fabled weak NA fucking team owners basically trying to see if Valve would bite at the hook if it was dangled and they didn't"
  • Slasher says NA team owners are really in favor of franchised leagues because they want to make more money. "Most of the powerful team owners right now are on board with ditching this third party organization structure, or they are trying to play this power politics with all the TOs, and that is contributing to a lot of the problems there"
• RL says that Riot has proved they can run a franchised league (LCS) and will be profitable in 2021 which is what a lot of team owners care about and says the competition will only serve to snatch people away from CS.
• RL continues to say, "I am so sick and tired of what we have done to this scene, I am just exhausted with it." "I think we have legitimately fucked it, I really think we have. I think we're staring into almost like a CGS (Championship Gaming Series) wasteland in NA." "Counter-Strike esports is a fucking joke."

Talent

"TO's have treated CS talent like absolute human garbage for years now."

• RL says that people like Sean Gares and ddk switching over to Valorant isn't for financial reasons because they are making less over there.
• He points out that TO's can't even give talent a 3 month in advance calendar.
• Because of the pandemic TO's won't hire certain people and some people are working more hours for the same money.
• He says we as a community don't respect journalists enough which is why we don't have good journalists.
  • He also says DeKay is leaving the scene soon and that Thorin is close to leaving also
• He says he had to talk a caster down from quitting and was struggling to find reasons.
• He says that DreamHack told Vince they would hire him but not if he wants to stick with dusT and says that this is the norm in esports. "Constant leveraging of people against each other." and says this is why we don't have a talent union.
• New gen casters are getting put into shit situations and the community's reaction to them is adding fuel to the fire
• He says the reason Moses left was because of the terrible conditions
• He says that Anders had to constantly leave his family and kid because someone fucked up or broke promises and had to constantly tell his kid to their face that "daddy can't be home this weekend."
• He says that esports has always been a lie to sell you this dream, "Meanwhile there's about 2% of the cunts getting all the checks."

Valve

"Anything that Riot does, is better than Valve's inaction"

• Slasher says that the larger aspect of esports as a whole compared to other entertainment mediums and Valve's lack of inattention are the bigger problems. He continues saying that the fact that Valve let their game be ran as an esport, they need to take on the responsibilities of it.
  • Both Slasher and RL wants Valve to take control but not on the level of Riot Games, there needs to be a balance.
• In case it was ever a question: Gabe Newell has been to 0 CSGO Majors.
• RL calls Valve out saying they could have done something during the gambling era.
• He says Valve used to come to the majors, but doesn't think they do anymore.
• RL had met with Valve at the Cluj-Napoca Major and had tried to appeal iBP's indefinite punishment and had also gave Brax's life story:
  • A recent family member passed away, they had lost a lot of income, they had to live in trailer, iBuyPower did not pay any salaries, and was pressured by family to make money who didn't support his career.
  • RL said that Valve told him, "How dare you try and make us feel guilty." "We shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the only thing that matters that we need to make players afraid of: cheating and match fixing"
  • RL also tried to share other info about match fixing and nothing came of it
• RL points out that Source 2 or a new engine is not something you will want based on the experience of transitioning from CS 1.6 to CS:S. "Valve's track record with brand new engines being launched, not fucking great from what I remember."
• Slasher says "If there is anything the community should do, is pressure Valve to hire a community manager."
  • They say that we need a commissioner, a community manager (not the person who runs the Twitter who posts memes all day), then we need to have a circuit
• RL reiterates that Valve doesn't care about CS esports and says they need to change the culture at Valve to make them care about CS esports
  • Slasher says a systemic problem is making it so working on CSGO would be a bad decision for you as an employee for Valve
• He also hasn't talked to Valve in ages and have sent over bugs and cheats and doesn't get emails back anymore
• Slasher says we should be directing attention at the developer leads, pointing out Ido Magal, if he even is still the project lead
  • RL thinks that Ido and Brian are the only people that "vaguely even give a fuck about CS" and were the only people that RL recalled that actually read Reddit and paid attention from time to time
• "It is really fucking precarious. Somebody has got to step the fuck up and start giving a shit"
  • Slasher suggests org owners, with CSPPA, with ESIC, with TOs have a concerted effort against Valve
• "Riot Games are doing better things than Valve in the esports space" which is something RL didn't think he'd say.
• "People who used to be talent, working with unions, arguing with other talent, when the unions fucked them over, can't understand their perspective, TOs fucking over broadcast talent, broadcast talent wanting to leave and go and work for orgs, orgs having no money, Valve might take coaches away because all the coaches are cheating, ESIC has about 4 people in a fucking call doing the investigations, everyone thinks they're spies for ESL, ESL are just the evil fucking overlords wanting to rule the scene and will just somehow, like cockroaches outliving a nuclear bomb, and Valve are in a fucking holiday in Hawaii thinking about the next Dota character because they don't give a fuck about us."

Closing Statements

"We've peaked. If we want to sustain and exist, now is the time to figure it out. No esports lasts as long as this, we've already done 8 years. We've already broke the records. We have got to figure out a way to coexist and drive the negative forces out and we need to do it as a collective and we're not doing that."

• RL compared the Counter-Strike scene to the people on the Titanic who ran around with guns robbing people while the boat was sinking.
• "We have given up on being a respectable esports scene." "We are now a conduit to make money for those who want to just milk it, just have one last ride, one last roll of the dice. It's done." "What a fucking mess. What have we done to our fucking scene?"
• "There's just too much self-interest driving all of this." "I don't see a way we stop the dominoes." "When it's that bad, when there's that many dishonest people that ESIC have to come out and say that if we punish them all there's no one left. What does that tell you?"
• "How many opportunities have we had to clean house? How many times have we said, 'this must never happen again', and another scandal." "The entire skins betting operations was the biggest criminal conspiracy in esports ever executed and no one has been punished for it." "The people who could be driving that don't want to."
• "Right now people are fans of those organizations because the scene has value. It is worth being a fan of Astralis because they are excellent at Counter-Strike. It is worth being a fan of s1mple because he is the best player in Counter-Strike, maybe the exception of ZywOo. If the scene is devalued, if the scene loses its meaning, those things lose its meaning too, and people will leave, people will stop tuning into the games. I have seen it happen in multiple esports, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I am getting big Brood War vibes right now and I don't like it."
• "The role you play in all of this as fans, as viewers, as listeners, as consumers of esports content, it's absolutely imperative that you know who the good guys are. It's absolutely imperative that you use your voice. It's absolutely imperative that when things are bad, you know who, at least, is trying to make them good, and you have to apply your criticism to the right targets."
  • He continues saying it's no good in continuing to attack ESIC and saying how they are bad, ESIC have it hard
• He says CSPPA are on the right side of the argument on BLAST but have been on the wrong side of many arguments many times.
  • "If you are not willing to stand along side the weakest member of the union, with the least amount of influence, and the least amount of power, then it is not a union at all and you shouldn't pose as one." "You wanna serve a bunch of special interest do it, everyone else in esports fucking does, but do not pose as something you are not." "We love the players. I've been fighting for players rights for as long as I've been able to, but the CSPPA is not what we needed."
    • "They are not applying the pressure to the right people, they are not fighting the right battles, they are not helping their weaker members."
• He says what orgs have done by keeping or hiring coaches is bad. "When you give up on holding an appreciable standard, you've lost the scene" "Competition matters, rules matter, punishments matter, achievements matter, excellence matters" "If you start stripping that away, you have nothing" "You guys need to take that knowledge and apply it sensibly."
• "Valve has sold you all down the river, they sold everyone in the esports scene down the river, tournament organizers are selling their talent down the river. Don't hate on them for sounding tired after a 16 hour day. Don't hate on them because the hype for a matchup they've seen for the 20th time in the past 3 months, they can't be as excited or it sounds contrived. Support your guys, they're there for you, these are your people."
• "This community has got to start acting like one for the first fucking time. Just put the petty shit away, let's try and fix this fucking scene while we still have one to save."
• "You can't rely on Valve, you can't rely on ESL, you can't rely on the CSPPA, you can't rely on anyone." "Once again, it's gonna be the likes of us, the amateurs, the people who give a fuck, rolling up our sleeves and grafting." "I'm old and tired and I don't want to have to do it again. People need to pick up the torch and do it."
  • "Like Michal did, like Dudenhoeffer did. You see something wrong, fix it. You see somebody doing something wrong, call it out. If you think something could be better, let people know."
• "Vote with your wallets if you're not happy with the direction Valve goes in. If when we do get to the Major, they serve up another subpar, same old bullshit stickers and signatures package again, do not buy it."
  • "You're a powerful block and if you use it correctly we can fucking avert this disaster."
• "I'm not doing another year in this broken, bust-up fucking scene, where everyone is miserable, everyone is broke, everyone is tired, and everyone is trying to fucking rob everyone else, blind, while the fucking people who are meant to be protecting you, are just fucking enhancing it and lining their own pockets."
  • "I'm not doing it anymore and you shouldn't want to do it either."
• "I stand by every fucking thing I said. I mean it, because this game fucking matters to me, this scene fucking matters to me. I put my life into this, my adult life, and to see it in this state is fucking sad."

Anyone else having fun?
Honestly this has been an incredible ride. My friend's, their friends, and everyone I know is having an awesome time. This is been the most exciting thing for me in a while.
I don't gamble on sports, or go to casinos so I literally can't buy this excitement and fun. And it's all happening from my living room!
Just seeing the comments, gains, losses, the SE FUCKING C, Hegde funds, Daddy Musk being part of something I'm part of is insane.
Keep it fun boys because this is a one and a life time thing.
Please don't ban me again. This is all I have.

With quarantine probably shutting a lot of us down, here’s a gem to keep us entertained.
A few months back, I was just getting off break (casino security) when I hear over the radio that some guy is refusing to leave. I head to where one of the other officers is trying to persuade a drunk, racist frat boy to leave. The frat kid is at the moment trying to get money from the ATM, but doesn’t understand that he pressed cash advance, not withdraw. So he’s flipping his shit. And he’s racist, hurling slurs against Native Americans all over, stuff I choose not to post. The normal “white guy vs Native” insults. Anyway, my supervisor arrives, and together the three of us convince him to head for the door. After much coaxing and herding, we get to the entrance. And now he doesn’t want to leave until he gets his money, and is standing in the entryway screaming racist slurs. This is a daddy’s money rich boy, khakis and loafers with a polo shirt, basically the stereotype was right before us. After much arguing, and threats, he winds up and throws a punch at my supervisor, stopping about an inch from her nose. All of us love this supervisor, she’s the mom, and I’ll be damned that some jackass is gonna throw a punch at her (she didn’t flinch. She’s a badass). I step in between them, and tell him he needs to leave, or we could escort him out the door. He doesn’t like how close I got to him, so he decided to shove me. I was waiting for it, and immediately took him to the ground. Somehow in the scuffle, I ended on the floor and leaning against the wall, but I was on my back, with him under me perpendicular, almost like a human cross. I had him in some weird headlock/half nelson with one arm, and with my other arm, hooked his leg with arm, the back of his knee in the crook of my elbow, kinda like I was carrying him in a weird way. We held him there till the cops showed up, at which point he started crying. As we waited for the cops, a regular customer, who we shall call John, showed up. John is a good guy, friendly with all the guards, and he’s seen all the shit we deal with, even helped us out when things get rough if he happens to be there. We give him shit, he gives us shit, it’s a good time. Anyway, he walks in, sees me against the wall with this kid cradled under me, and starts laughing. My glasses had gotten knocked off, so he picks them up and puts them back on my face for me before heading inside to gamble. Pretty cool guy. Anyway, guy got charged, he got banned, and I got my glasses back on my face

Hi all :) In these posts I’ll be sharing some of the fun bits of dialogues from the Swimsuit Swordsmasters summer event. They are mostly short and fun exchanges between the characters that you can enjoy reading along with the summaries of the chapters that you can find down here.
Here are the summaries of the Las Vegas summer event from last year, done by various good souls. With the exception of the translations by pplovesk and shinyklefkey , most of these were summarized by Itqan Madani on their Facebook. They used to be posted on reddit by kakarot12310 but since the posts have been removed for some reason I'll link directly to Itqan Madani instead.
Main chapter summary part 1
Main chapter summary part 2
Main chapter summary part 3
Main chapter summary part 4
Main chapter summary part 5
Main chapter summary part 6
Main chapter summary part 7
Main chapter summary part 8
Main chapter summary part 9, and part 10. Alternative summary with additional tidbits by pplovesk.
Main chapter summary part 11 alternative summary with additional translation of the final boss’ dialogues and fun tidbits by pplovesk.
Extra: Drive in Las Vegas
Extra: Fun Jet Tennen Rishin-ryū
Extra: Losers’ Lullaby
Extra: Gambling Saint
Extra: Playing With The Weather (featuring QSH and Iskandar) by shinyklefkey.

Part 1 here.

Part 2 here.

Cirque du Requin

The cute little play that goes in the beginning of Cirque du Requin:
Mephi: In Patchwork London, what unfolds before us is the story of three happy little girls. Now then, I wonder I wonder. What clutches of evil await these little ones? What is this that they deeply wish for? We hope you’d enjoy yourself until the very end!
Mephi: Oh yeah I forgot. This goes without saying but no recording allowed okay? (he then screams “there are no dreams” but I don’t really get what the hell that’s about)

Rhyme: Let’s step, let’s kick, and dance away! (errr, kick-step dance?) No matter how you do it, you’ll end up in the pot all the same!
Lily: Mister Dolphin, oh Mister Dolphin, what did you see that made you bounce? What did you see that made you howl? I don’t understand a word you’re saying!
Reese: (queck queck!)
Rhyme: Does everyone bring chocolate with you? Mine and yours and Mister Dolphin’s, we have in total 3 pieces! Now let’s go on a picnic, all the way to the moon!

Uncle Napnap: Wow wow, hold up there you two. No matter how you think about it, walking from here all the way to the moon is no easy journey! If you give me a piece of choc, I’ll take you to the end of the moon, so how about it?
The girls: Please take us, pretty please! Please take us to the moon right away!
Uncle Napnap: Then off you two go, quick, get inside my cannon! It’ll be a hell of a show, kaboom!, just like that! Now, let’s go! ARC DE TRIOMPHE DE L’ETOILE! (fwoosh~!)

Rhyme: Huh? I wonder if this is really the moon? Aren’t there supposed to be rabbits on the moon! There are no rabbits here, as the matter of fact there is not a single chicken feather to be found!
Ishtar: Myyyy, my my my. What a shame, what a shame! Because this is actually Venus. Looks like you girls got your cannon trajectory all wrong! I get a lot of stray kids like you around here, so I give you my dearest welcome! Of course, I welcome you, as an addition to my labor force!
Lily: No way!
Ishtar: Hehehe, you’re not going to the moon or anywhere else. You’re going to slave away here forever!
Automata: Labor, labor, labor is fun, and labor is happiness. You’ll find your happiness in absolutely nothing but labor.

Rhyme: This is bad, this is really bad! We have been doing nothing but harsh labor all this time! But we have no cannons here, and dumb dumb Napnap is not with us anymore! Have we no ways left to go to the moon?
Ibachin: Wut wut, wut’s all the fuzz. You want to me to take you to the moon to play there, is that it? If you gimme a piece of choc, I’ll send you flying to the moon with double the fanfare!
Lily: Then I’ll give you my chocolate! Please take us to the moon safe and sound!
Ibachin: Worry not, worry not. Om nom nom. (TRANSFORM!) So yummy! Now get ready, for the great firework of Mount Ooe shall blast you off to the moon! Let’s go! ENCOMIUM MORIAE! (boom!)

Rhyme: We made it! My my, I wonder if this is the moon?
Artemis: Yep yep. You got that right. An oh-so-much-fun dreamy lunar world is waiting for you up ahead! But do you bring chocolate with you? If you have only one piece, I cannot allow more than a single person to enter the lunar world, you know?
Rhyme: My, I can’t believe this! I have no choco left!
Lily: Then it cannot be helped. Please let Rhyme in. I will stay here. Nursery, enjoy the lunar world okay?
Rhyme: My my, how could I do such a thing! If Jeanne won’t go then I’ll stay with her too. We’ll return to the pot together!
Reese: …
Lily: Mister Dolphin? Why are you holding up the chocolate?
Reese: (bites!)
The girls: Ah! The piece is broken up!
Orion: Hmm hmm hmph! Not bad, Dolphin! Now the chocolate has been broken up into two pieces. Now there is no problem right, Artemis?
Artemis: Yep yep, things are peachy now. Let’s take them to the lunar world.
Rhyme: Thank you, thank you so much Mister Dolphin!
Reese: (happy noises)

Rhyme: This picnic is so much fun! But I wonder if there is something missing?
Lily: You too Nursery? I also think we’re missing somebody!
Rhyme: That’s right, it’s that girl! This won’t do, we must return to the pot at once!
Lily: You’re right. If we want to play in the lunar world, we can always bring chocolate with us and return tomorrow!
Rhyme: Let’s bring a whole lot! For dumb dumb Napnap, for meanie Ishtar, for chomp chomp Ibachin, and of course for Mister Dolphin too! Let’s have a picnic with everybody!

Jack: Daddy, daddy! Please listen to our request!
Sanson: Oh dear, what could it be my little angels?
The girls: We want to be taken to the moon! So give us lots and lots of chocolate, pretty please!

Sieg: Let’s register first. Oh, you there, got a moment?
Marie: Welcome to Cirque du requin! Oh my, oh my oh my. You guys are here to have a Swimsuit Swordsmaster duel right?
Gudao: yep.
Hokusai replies with her usual MUST BECOME BEST MIZUGI KENGOU stuff.
Marie: Actually, you need the Challenge Letter first... but well, a mock fight is fine too! Since there haven’t been a lot of challengers lately, Jeanne has been lonely. But please wait a lil bit. If the little guy is hungry, it could get messy!
Everybody at the same time: The little guy? Gudao: Who??
Marie: well, since Jeanne has been strict on him, I think it’ll be fine!
(In Jeanne’s room)
Jeanne: giggles there there, good boy. Looks like another challenger has come. Let’s do our best!
(Outside) Marie: Jeanne! Is now a good time?
Jeanne: Coming Marie! What’s the matter?
Marie: You got a challenger, I brought em to your room! How’s his tummy?
Jeanne: He ate a whole lot earlier so I think he’s peppy!
Hoku: I dunno what they’re on about but I’m getting strange chills, maybe this is a bad idea. N-No, if I get cold feet here how can I ever call myself an Edokko! Hereeee I Co-
(Door opens) Jeanne: Morning!
An actual, floating shark: Playtime.
Hoku: -mee.......
(Everybody freezes for 5 seconds)
Gudao: RETREEAAAAAT!!!
Jeanne: Welcome to Cirque du Requ- hu-huh?
Marie: Jeanne, everybody ran.
Jeanne: No way... why do all my challengers run back as soon as they arrive here!
Marie: Maybe it’s the little guy, no...?
Jeanne: Whatchu mean, he’s cute as a button no? My Reese XP.
Reese XP (an actual, floating shark): Playtime.
Marie: Yeah, I think he’s super cute too! (Srsly Marie??) You agree Deon?
Deon: I stand by my right to give no comments, Your Highness!
Jeanne & Marie: Eeeeh~
Deon: Why are you two tilting your heads at me!
Oh, so Jeanne continues to hypnotize people into her slav- siblings it seems. And still with her fists.
Jeanne: Jeez. What’s with the sour face. You’ll make your sister sad okay? ...that’s right. I’m not a holy woman here.
Melt: My. Then what could you be?
Jeanne: Yep, I’m Gudao-kun’s... BIG SIS!
Melt: I see, big sis. ...biggu sissu? Errr... what are you talking about. You’re a Heroic Spirit right? A Servant right? Not someone from Japan right?
Sieg: What’s wrong Master. Your face is pale...
Gudao: I HAVE A FEELING THAT PERSON WAS MY BIG SIS! (Yep it’s a continuation of that Summer 3 node where Jeanne hypnotized Jalter and Lily into her slav- siblings. WITH HER FISTS)
Musashi: Huh, big sis. Hoku: Uh huh, big sis.
Everybody: BUT WHY DOU
Jeanne: Jeez, you sis is sadface desu. I never thought my brother’d be my opponent! But unfortunately, there is no way out of this. You will learn that lil brothers can never win against big sisters, with that body of yours errrrrrrr I mean with my gentle teachings!
Okkie: I think I just heard her true intention in full open just now! We’re in deep shit, she’s the same type as MechaEli-chan! 😭
Convo with Orion:

Artemis: Oh, you plan to challenge Jeanne, right?

Orion: Be careful. With Jeanne, and also with that shark. (sobs) Even though that chick looks to be perfectly within my strike zone… it’s like, my head keeps flashing warnings like “no touchy, that chick is totally bad news”… Just like the first time I met Artemis! Just like the first time I met Artemis! No shit, my brain actually repeated twice like that, purely for emphasis.

Sieg: I see now. However, mind if I have a question, Lord Orion?

Orion: wut?

Sieg: Why did that warning let Lord Artemis pass the radar?

Artemis: D A R-L I N G ?

Orion: EEKKK! Man it’s been a while since the last time we had this kinda conversation!

Artemis: Yeah we haven’t been doing our comedy routine in a while. THEN HOW ABOUT I LET YOU HAVE A TASTE OF MY “LUNATIC BEAM” RIGHT NOW?

Orion: That’s your biggest gun ain’t it! E M P L E H!!! (he’s then promptly squeezed into silence)

Also, in the end of the node when Gudao is about to snap back into his ANE trance, Melt whips him out of it with a move called “Comfy Mystic Sword Gisele.” Aww, even when she’s being sadistic she still goes gentle on us, what a sweetie.

You are about to ask Kintoki to help level-upping Public Decency Raikou’s motherhood when a monster suddenly shows up on the street; looks like Tamamo’s glamor has leaked out too much, so somehow a magical beast has turned into an enemy.

Kinbro: No way around this, we’ll just have to talk after I’m done teaching this guy how to behave! Hmm? Waita minute. Isn’t this pattern where we’re supposed to do “that?” This is our chance to say that line, ain’t it!

Gudao: Excuse me!

Kinbro: Hey, don’t you bastards dare start fighting before we do this, okay!

Monsters: (actually play along and nod)

Kinbro: Alright! Here we goooooo!

Gudao: But we were just in the middle of talking!

EVERYBODY ELSE: SUDDENLY, IT’S WYVERNS! HECK YEAH!

Hoku: …what black magic is this?

Musashi: I have absolutely no clue either, but it’s like some kinda token word that feels good when you say it!

(then you fight a Hawaiian chicken that is named “Wyvern?”)

Kintoki’s reaction to our plan with Raikou:
Kinbro: That’s a dangerous gamble you’re making, Master. Right now general Raikou’s power is that of a Public Decency Chairwoman. If you up her motherhood attribute, she might just go back to being a Zerk. But as a Berserker, she’ll definitely say things like “it’s absurd to let my son (read: Master) do something like fighting a shark!” and turn this summer break into a mountain of homework.
Tamamo: What, are you still in elementary school or something? >_>
How Tamamo goes about pushing Raikou’s button:

Raikou: …I see. You’re telling me you want to defeat the Swimsuit Swordsmaster Servants.

Kinbro: Exactly, General Raikou.

Raikou: I do wish to assist you very much… but to begin with, the fact that this Swimsuit Swordsmaster tournament exists, itself is indecent. All of you, be good children and stay where you are. As one who upholds public decency, I shall put an end to everything by myself.

Kinbro: Nah nah nah. Then it would be pointless. It won’t mean a damn if Master himself doesn’t participate properly in the tourney, you see?

Raikou: But… (poor woman, worrying about her son gawking at swimsuits 😭)
Tamamo: Now now. Master, won’t you just let Raikou-san handle everything for us?

Raikou: Whu- Ah, you’re… Tamamo no Mae! Among the list of indecent Servants, you’re the biggest offender…!

Tamamo: You got that right. With that said, we’ll leave eeeeeeeverything to you okay, Raikou-san? Meanwhile, me and Master will enjoy our vacation to our hearts’ content! Hurry hurry Master. First, let’s us take a dip in the pool. After swimming, we’ll rub sun oil for each other, massage each other, clean ears for each other… (no shit I would clean Tamamo’s ears, those fluffs look too damn soft!)

Raikou: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!! D-Do you think I would allow such things! Banned! Each and every one of them is banned!

Tamamo: Huh~ But you see~ If Raikou-san can allow yourself to get so worked up, why can’t you cut Master some slack too?
Raikou: That’s…! But, uh, I mean… umm… (sobs ༼ಢ_ಢ༽)
Gudao: (Kinbro...! / Should we really be bullying her like this…!?)

Kinbro: (This might be mean-spirited, but at times like this, you must bring out your inner oni, Master!)

Tamamo: C’mon c’mon. Won’t you spend your summer days indulging in oozing sweetness with this onee-san? <3

Kinbro: (You’re something, Fox… no matter how you look at this, it’s a deadly honeytrap, but deep within your eyes there ain’t a speck of a smile… Is this the real nature of a courtesan?... no wait, Fox did claim that she had nothing to do with courtesan stuff…) (yes this is a reference to Daji)

Then after the plan has succeeded…

Hoku: Yep. I’m still an amateur but I have faced some real deals. I’m getting better at this swordsman business.

Raikou: That’s wonderful. However… from examining the battle just now, there is still redundancy in your swordplay. On the way to the hotel, I’ll teach you a couple of tricks on how to deal with onis and ogres.
Tamamo: Wow there I’m catching bad vibes so this is where Tamamo-chan will be showing herself out! (whispers closely) If you do need a breather, you can come to my room at any time <3 Well, see ya!

Mashu: Senpai senpai… just what kind of things did Tamamo-san just say to you? Ah, you turned your face away! Senpaaai, senpaaaaaaai!

Since Mephis thinks it’s a waste to just let a ridiculous duel like us trying to fight back brainwashing big sis, he comes up with an equally wacky storyline for us to act as a play while actually dueling. So this is it.

Mephi: Tonight, our story is a tall tale of swindlers. It’s about the amusing life of a man who proclaims to have severed the Italian peninsula and attached it to Greece… Now then, please enjoy!

Roma: …Oh? I see.
Gudao: Though it may sound very painful, this is totally the will of God.
Roma: Very well. No matter the place, no matter if it’s in Greece, Roma is Roma. I too am Roma. Severing the peninsula too, is Roma.

Hector: Wut, the Italian peninsula is coming over to play? I mean, whatever floats your boat, man. Ah, but what will we do about the taxes? They’ll probably make us pay won’t they.

Citizen A: Hey folks have you heard! Looks like they’re gonna chopped off our entire peninsula and attach it to Greece!
B: Now ain’t that something! If we become Italian, we’ll get to climb Mount Olympus!
A: Kudos! Kudos! Kudos to the folks who are chopping off our peninsula!

Hoku: Yep we’re totally doing it! The king has given us a go. Now all we have to do is to lop this peninsula’s head clean off! I can’t wait, I just can’t wait. This is exactly why I love scams and swindles!
Jeanne: Wow there, I won’t let you have you way, my lil brother! If you cut off this peninsula, there will be a giant boot floating over the Mediterranean Sea. I won’t allow you to make a boot island appear out of nowhere! As your big sis I must put a stop to your scheme no matter what, as a your big sis I repeat! Hey, don’t you two agree!?
Lily: Yeah! Only bad people do scams and swindles. Even Bunyan knows that if you lie, your nose will grow!
Jalter: tbh I’d rather be on that side. Welp, at the moment I’m here tho. So be a good boy and obey your sisters!
Gudao: (I knew it, these two are brainwashed too…!)
Actually, there are a couple of funny parallels between the “Family Flag” node in Summer 3 and this part of Summer 4. FYI the thing with Jeanne brainwashing people into her slaves siblings has been going on since Summer 3, with Jeanne trying to claim Gudao as the newest member of the “Jeanne siblings” while Jalter and Lily tried to stop her delusion from going out of hands (spoiler: they failed).

Summer 3:

Jalter: Listen here, “Master-chan.” When it has come to this, you must toughen your heart and firmly reject her rambling. If you don’t you’re just allowing her to come up with some crazier delusions!
Lily: Oh no, even the me who should be clean and proper has gone kooky under Luluhawa heat… I knew it, winter! Winter has got to be the best! Please come early, winter!
Jeanne: What should I do, my lil brother. I didn’t think they would catch on so slowly. There is no helping it, I guess I’ll just have to resort to persuasion (read: my fist).

Jeanne: MODE CHANGE!
(she changes into her dolphin coach swimsuit and Reese also appropriately appears. It still floats in the air, of course.)
Lily: Yay, it’s Mister Dolphin! How do you do, Mister Dolphin!
Reese: (shows a jaw full of teeth)
Lily: It’s scary when the mouth opens!
Jalter: What are you doing there Lily! This whackjob is planning to brainwash us with her fist! Fight her now or else Master will become our little brother!
(after the fight)
Jalter: (dejected) You’re my brother.
Lily: Yay! Even though I’m the youngest child I got a little brother now!
(...and the morning after)
Jalter: Wait, now I remember! You’re not my little brother, right!?
Lily: Yeah, Master is my older brother!
Gudao: (The brainwashing effect still hasn’t cleared…)

Summer 4:

Jeanne: Grrr…! It’s not over yet! Go, Reese XP!
Reese XP: ME – WANT – PLAY.
Lily: To be honest, even if it’s my ally I’m still scared…
Jalter: I’m more scared of a crazy big sister tho.
(...and after the fight)
Jeanne: What a… humiliating defeat…! I am... not… your big sister…!
Gudao: Of course you’re not my big sister!
Jalter: Ah… now that you remind me! This woman is not my big sister!
Lily: I knew it… the summer heat is making us hallucinating…!
Jeanne: Ugh… I can’t believe that… that you’re not my blood-related little brother…!
Gudao: She’s still not giving up!
And that's all I wanna do for this event. There is a bit during Casino Camelot where Fergus is so horny but the girls ignore him to sail their yuri ship so he’s like “a Medjed is fine too” but it’s not as ridiculous as the previous casinos so I’ll pass on translating any more.
Anniversary and Summer 2020 are coming and I have no quartz left, truly the worst roastbelt _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
​
Build to Bash at the Beach
Following his victory over Lance Archer at Revolution, Kota Ibushi takes a night off, and notably on the show, Santana and Ortiz pick up a victory over Hybrid2 after interference from Sammy Guevara.
On the following week's episode of Dynamite, Kota Ibushi is once again taking it easy, when he is approached by Hybrid2, who are asking for someone to team with them in a 6 man tag team match against Santana, Ortiz and Sammy Guevara. Ibushi admits that he really doesn't have anything else to do that week, and agrees to participate in the match. During the match, Kota Ibushi is the overall difference maker, and his involvement results in a victory for Hybrid2 and Ibushi, after Ibushi hit the Golden Crucifix to Sammy Guevara for the 1, 2, 3.
On the following week of Dynamite, Sammy Guevara is seen speaking backstage with Chris Jericho, who is berating Guevara for making the Inner Circle by being pinned by Kota Ibushi the week before. Guevara asks his mentor what he can do to make up for his mistake, and Jericho tells Guevara to find Hager, and beat up Ibushi. Guevara agrees and leaves the shot. Later in the show, Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager are shown in the parking lot attacking Kota Ibushi. Hager and Guevara pick up some steel pipes and try to use them to beat up Ibushi, but from out of nowhere Ibushi mounts a comeback, snatching Hager's steel pipe and using it to beat down Hager and Guevara. However, as Hager and Guevara begin to recover, Ibushi runs to his car, hops in and drives away before Hager, Guevara and now the rest of the Inner Circle can get to him.
On the go-home show for Week 1 of Bash at the Beach 2022, Kota Ibushi is seen backstage beating up Jake Hager with a steel chair, before running away as AEW officials come to check on Hager. Soon after this, Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara are in the ring, calling out Kota Ibushi. Ibushi comes down, steel chair in hand. Santana and Ortiz try to jump Ibushi, but Hybrid2 arrive to fend off Santana and Ortiz, before Ibushi makes his way to the ring. Jericho and Guevara remain in the ring, and Jericho steps forward, letting Ibushi know that his orders to Guevara last week weren't personal, it was just done to send a message. Ibushi doesn't appreciate being used to send messages to the locker room, but admits that their attempt backfired, because they look even more stupid than they already did because they didn't get the job done. Jericho goes to lash out but Guevara pulls him back, before Guevara says that if Ibushi is looking for revenge, he'll face Ibushi at Bash at the Beach. Ibushi then reiterates that he doesn't just want to face Guevara, but he wants to send a message to the Inner Circle not to mess with him, and he wants to do that by beating "Le Champion" Chris Jericho. Jericho accepts and it is arranged that Ibushi will face Guevara on week 1 of Bash at the Beach, and the following week he will face Chris Jericho. Ibushi turns to leave the ring, but Guevara jumps him, and beats him down. Jake Hager comes down the entranceway to help Guevara beat up Ibushi. Hager and Guevara then grab Ibushi and set him up for the Judas Effect. Jericho hits it, knocking Ibushi out cold.
Week 1 of Bash at the Beach 2022
Kota Ibushi vs Sammy Guevara
Sammy Guevara puts in a good showing in this match against Ibushi. Despite Ibushi's dominance against other competitors, Guevara is positioned on an even playing field to Ibushi. The pair begin the match with some mat wrestling, before transitioning into their signature moves, trading them with each other, until Ibushi manages to get ahead with a Golden Star Powerbomb fora 2 count. Kota Ibushi looks at the referee, shocked that he didn't get a three count, when Chris Jericho's music hits. Kota Ibushi stands up to face the entranceway, but before anything happens, Sammy Guevara sneaks up behind Ibushi and secures a school-boy roll up pin for the 1, 2, 3.
Sammy Guevara def. Kota Ibushi via pinfall (10:57)
Week 2 of Bash at the Beach 2022
Kota Ibushi vs Chris Jericho
This match is quite a more psychological match, pitting Kota Ibushi's youth and speed against Chris Jericho's ring awareness and experience. Jericho focuses more on wearing down Ibushi limb for limb, whilst Kota Ibushi focuses on outpacing Jericho to try and keep him on the back foot. Despite Jericho's strong relationship with the Inner Circle, none of the Inner Circle make an appearance at ringside, which the commentators claim is at the request of Jericho. During the chain wrestling, Jericho is usually able to gain the upper hand at firs,t but Ibushi would then utilise his speed to escape the holds. The match ends when Jericho has Ibushi staggering towards him, and he goes for the Judas Effect, but Ibushi ducks underneath Jericho, before grabbing Jericho in a crucifix hold and hitting him with the Golden Crucifix, pinning Jericho for the 1, 2, 3.
Kota Ibushi def. Chris Jericho via pinfall (15:29)
​
Build to Double or Nothing
On the Dynamite following Bash at the Beach, Kota Ibushi would be booked in a one on one match against Matt Cardona. Ibushi would put in a stronger offensive performance than Cardona, however the finish would come when Sammy Guevara runs down to the ring, armed with a steel chair, and begins beating up Kota Ibushi, causing a disqualification. After Guevara is done beating up Ibushi, he shouts at Justin Roberts to hand him a microphone, and Roberts obliges. Guervara then says that Ibushi may think he's shown the rest of the Inner Circle that he's a force to be reckoned with, but Guervara knows differently, as although Jericho lost, Guervara reminds everyone that he beat Ibushi.
On the following week of Dynamite, Kota Ibushi is taking the week off to recover from the chair shots. Meanwhile, Matt Cardona confronts Guevara backstage, asking why Guevara felt the need to cost Matt his match. Guevara says it wasn't personal, but Cardona isn't having any of it, telling Guevara to get in the ring and settle this like men, or run away to his sugar daddy Chris Jericho. Guevara doesn't take kindly to that comment, and accepts the match. During the match, Guevara utilises cheap shots and referee bumps to garner heat and derail Cardona's momentum, however, when Guevara is nearing his finish, Kota Ibushi's music hits. Ibushi comes down the entranceway, using a pair of crutches. Guevara turns to look at Ibushi, and is shocked by his appearance. Ibushi and Guevara have a stare down, allowing for Cardona to recover and begin lining up his finisher. As soon as Guevara turns back to Cardona, Cardona runs at Guevara and hits him with the Radio Silence jumping leg lariat, covering Guevara, 1, 2, 3.
On the following week of Dynamite, Sammy Guevara cuts a promo calling out Kota Ibushi. Ibushi emerges and hobbles down to the ring, still using crutches to help him. Guevara claims that Ibushi's decision to interfere in Sammy's match last week was unacceptable and uncalled for. Ibushi retorts by reminding Guevara who it was that put him in crutches, or rather, who he's been able to convince put him in these crutches. Guevara's expression becomes confused, but that changes when Kota Ibushi throws aside the crutches, and hits Guervara with a clothesline. Ibushi beats down Guevara a bit, before picking up Sammy Guevara and hitting him with the Golden Crucifix.
On the next week of Dynamite, Kota Ibushi is cutting a promo, calling out Sammy Guevara to face him in a match that week. However, out comes Chris Jericho. Jericho enters the ring and reiterates that he's not here to fight or to set up an attack on Ibushi, as he was impressed by Ibushi at Bash at the Beach, saying "your beef is with Guevara, not the rest of the Inner Circle". Jericho says he's down here to tell the viewers and Ibushi that Guevara wasn't able to make it to Dynamite, "something about a sick dog, hey, don't boo a sick dog, you sickos". Ibushi says that if Guevara has any balls, he'll show up to Dynamite the next week, and face Ibushi once more. Ibushi immediately drops his microphone, and walks past Jericho, brushing Jericho's shoulder with his own on the way out.
This week's Dynamite has the blowoff match for the Kota Ibushi vs Sammy Guevara feud. Each of the men are given ample opportunity to get in some of their signature offence, in what is portrayed as a fairly even match, but the finish comes when Guevara is climbing the top rope, ready to jump, when Ibushi recovers and knocks Guevara onto the top turnbuckle. Ibushi then grabs Guevara off the top turnbuckle into the crucifix position, and hits the Golden Crucifix on Guevara for the 1, 2, 3.
On the following week of Dynamite, Ibushi takes a rest, but it is announced that at Double or Nothing, the yearly traditional Casino Battle Royal will occur, with the winner going to All Out to challenge for the World title.
On the go-home show for Double or Nothing, Kota Ibushi interrupts a promo battle between MJF and Orange Cassidy to reveal that he will be entering the Casino Battle Royal, and he claims that it will be him going to All Out, and at All Out, he will become the new AEW World Champion. MJF gets in Ibushi's face, saying that Ibushi doesn't stand a chance against "the best thing this company has ever seen". Ibushi goes to attack MJF, but Wardlow steps between the pair to stop their fighting.
Double or Nothing 2022
Casino Battle Royal match
The Casino Battle Royal is happening, and halfway through the match, out comes Kota Ibushi. Ibushi runs in and immediately eliminated Peter Avalon, going on a bit of a tear, before that momentum is silenced by a discuss lariat from Brodie Lee. As the match progresses, Kota Ibushi remains strong, eliminating the likes of CIMA and Matt Cardona. There comes a moment where Ibushi looks set to be eliminated, with Luther using his strength to try and push Ibushi over the top rope, but through some heroics, Ibushi uses his legs to pull Luther over the top rope and eliminate him from the match. The match continues as normal and the last entrant in the match is MJF. Instead of getting in the ring to try and make some eliminations, MJF decides to sit on commentary and watch for a while. When the match is down to Ibushi, Moxley, Luchasaurus and MJF, MJF makes the bold decision to get in the ring, and he immediately tosses Jon Moxley out of the ring. Ibushi, Luchasaurus and MJF go at it for another 10 minutes, with plenty of false finishes. The ending comes when Luchasaurus begins having a shouting match with Wardlow. Wardlow jumps up to the apron and tries to eliminate Luchasaurus, and nearly does it, but MJF comes over and finishes the job, eliminating Luchasaurus from the match. As MJF holds his hands out to boast about his achievement, Kota Ibushi sneaks up behind MJF and tosses him out of the ring, to win the Casino Battle Royal.
Kota Ibushi wins the Casino Battle Royal match
​
Build to Fyter Fest
Following Double or Nothing, Kota Ibushi cuts a promo thanking all of his supporters for putting him in a position where he may now become the AEW World Champion at All Out. Ibushi says that he's gracious for the opportunity, and whether it be the current champ Adam Page, or someone else, he's ready for the challenge. Adam Page comes down to the ring, and he says that he doesn't plan on dropping the AEW World title anytime soon, and at All Out, he plans on retaining the belt, though he does congratulate Ibushi on the incredible achievement. Ibushi thanks Page, but says it won't matter when he pins Page's shoulders to the mat at All Out. Suddenly, MJF's music hits. MJF comes down and cuts a promo calling Kota Ibushi's victory at Double or Nothing a "complete fluke", claiming that it should be him going to the main event of All Out, not Ibushi, as he's the real star of AEW. Page interrupts to say that if MJF wants to be in the main event of All Out, his only ticket is winning the AEW World title, and that's not going to happen if Page has anything to say about it.
On the following week of Dynamite, AEW World Champion Adam Page and Casino Battle Royal winner Kota Ibushi are booked in a tag team match against MJF and Wardlow. Due to tensions between Page and Ibushi that they may have to face each other at All Out, they are unable to get on the same page, unlike MJF and Wardlow, who act as a cohesive unit to win the match in decisive fashion, with MJF pinning Adam Page.
Because he pinned the World champion in a tag team match the week before, MJF is given an AEW World title shot against Adam Page on the following week of Dynamite. Before the match begins, Adam Page is seen backstage speaking with Kota Ibushi. Page is asking Ibushi if he would like to be in Page's corner for his upcoming match, as Page would like someone to make sure that Wardlow doesn't interfere. Ibushi says he'd be more than happy to help. During the match, Ibushi sees Wardlow trying to interfere, and stops Wardlow from doing so, but gets beaten up for his efforts. However, with Wardlow not causing any distractions, Page is able to hit MJF with the Buckshot Lariat, covering MJF for the 1, 2, 3, and retaining the title.
On the go-home show for Fyter Fest, MJF cuts a promo on AEW World Champion Adam Page, saying that Page only won because Kota Ibushi helped him win. Adam Page comes down and says that he wouldn't have felt a need to bring in Kota Ibushi if Wardlow would give him a fair match. MJF challenges Page's credibility, saying that he shouldn't need anything extra to help him win his matches. As MJF and Page continue their arguing, Kota Ibushi slides into the ring and starts attacking Wardlow. This distracts MJF, who drops his guard momentarily, allowing Page to hit the Buckshot Lariat on MJF, as Ibushi clotheslines Wardlow over the top rope. Before the show ends, it is announced than on Week 1 of Fyter Fest, Kota Ibushi will face Wardlow in a singles match, whilst MJF will once again challenge Adam Page for the AEW World title on Week 2 of Fyter Fest, but everyone on the roster is banned from ringside.
Week 1 of Fyter Fest 2022
Kota Ibushi vs Wardlow
This match is truly an underdog match, with Ibushi acting as the smaller, but faster and smarter babyface, whilst Wardlow takes on the role of the dominating heel. Ibushi is unable to match Wardlow's strength throughout the match, but whenever Wardlow begins to gain momentum, Ibushi uses his smarts to derail that momentum, utilising a combination of high-flying offence with high impact offence to wear down the armour of Wardlow. The finish comes when Wardlow begins mounting a last-minute power sequence, holding Ibushi up in a military press, when Ibushi struggles and is able to get out of Wardlow's grip. Ibushi then irisuh whips Wardlow to the corner, and uses the turnbuckle to lift Wardlow onto Ibushi's back into a crucifix hold, and miraculously Ibushi manages to hit the Golden Crucifix on Wardlow, pinning Wardlow for the 1, 2, 3.
Kota Ibushi def. Wardlow via pinfall (8:34)
On week 2 of Fyter Fest, MJF beats Adam Page to win the AEW World Championship
​
Build to Fight for the Fallen
On the Dynamite after Fyter Fest, a fatal four way is held to determine who the number 1 contender will be for MJF's newly won AEW World Championship at Fight for the Fallen. The four competitors in the match are Darby Allin, Adam Page, Jon Moxley and Kenny Omega. Jon Moxley goes over, pinning Kenny Omega. After the match, MJF comes down and has a face off with Jon Moxley, but they are interrupted by Kota Ibushi, who stares at both of them, before pointing to the AEW World title and mouthing "that will be mine".
On the go-home show for Fight for the Fallen, Adam Page cuts a promo calling out Kota Ibushi. Adam Page says that he's quite unhappy that he lost the AEW World title, but something he's also bummed about is that he's now lost his opportunity to face Kota Ibushi at All Out. Ibushi says that it's a real shame, but he'd still like to face Page at Fight for the Fallen. Adam Page says that he'd like that, on one condition... if he can beat Kota Ibushi at Fight for the Fallen, Page is inserted into the main event of All Out, making the match a triple threat match. Kota Ibushi agrees, and the match is set.
Fight for the Fallen 2022
Kota Ibushi vs Adam Page, if Adam Page wins, he is inserted into the main event of All Out
Kota Ibushi vs Adam Page is a very even match. Kota Ibushi is fighting solely to maintain the run of momentum he's been building, whilst Adam Page is looking for any last opportunity to earn a rematch for the World title. Kota Ibushi and Adam Page put in a 20 minute classic, with each man getting ample opportunity to showcase their signature offence. A false finish occurs when Ibushi is able to hit Adam Page with the Golden Star Powerbomb, covering Page, 1, 2, kickout. Another false finish comes when Adam Page connects with the Turn the Page, covering Ibushi, 1, 2, kickout. The finish to the match involves Kota Ibushi and Page locking up, with Page taking control of Ibushi's back. Ibushi manages to free himself by hitting Page with an elbow strike to the chin, stunning Page momentarily. Ibushi capitalises and lifts Page up into a Crucifix hold, before connecting with the Golden Crucifix, pinning Page for the 1, 2, 3.
Kota Ibushi def. Adam Page via pinfall (21:43)
Also at Fight for the Fallen, MJF retained his AEW World Championship against Jon Moxley.
​
Build to All Out
Following Fight for the Fallen, MJF holds a championship victory celebration parade in the ring, boasting that he is well on the way to being the most dominant AEW World Champion in history. MJF congratulates Darby Allin on the great effort, but then takes that compliment back by saying Allin isn't on MJF's level. MJF then says he must look forwards, and in his path is the number 1 contender for the AEW World Championship at All Out, Kota Ibushi. MJF says that Ibushi is actually a worthy challenger, with loads of high level accomplishments... "in Japan!". MJF laughs before claiming that Ibushi will never be able to replicate the success he had in Japan over in the United States. MJF says that he can't wait to prove that fact at All Out, when he pins Kota Ibushi in the middle of the ring, to continue his reign as AEW World Champion.
On the next week of Dynamite, Kota Ibushi and MJF have their contract signing for their match at All Out. However, before Ibushi signs the contract, MJF grabs Ibushi's contract and hands it to Wardlow. Ibushi looks confused, before MJF states that in AEW, there exists what is known as the champion's advantage, meaning the title cannot change hands in the event of a disqualification or countout. MJF states that at All Out, there is nothing stopping him from simply walking out of their match at All Out, and retaining his title. But, MJF says he's willing to drop the champion's advantage in their match, before pulling out a separate contract. Before Ibushi can grab the contract, MJF states that if Ibushi wants MJF to remove the champion's advantage, he must pass three tests. Firstly, he must win a gauntlet match against 3 superstars of MJF's choosing. Kota Ibushi then must beat Wardlow in a beat the clock challenge. Then finally, Kota Ibushi must kiss MJF's feet. Ibushi agrees to the conditions.
On the next week's episode of Dynamite, Kota Ibushi participates in the gauntlet match. The first opponent is Luther, who he disposes of quickly. The next opponent is Ricky Starks, who makes Ibushi work quite hard to get the victory, but Ibushi perseveres and pins Starks following the Golden Crucifix, but by this point he's exhausted. The final entrant is Kip Sabian, who not only utilises Ibushi's weak state, but even goes so far as to cheat to win the match. However, Kota Ibushi perseveres, and hits Sabian with the Golden Crucifix, pinning Sabian for the 1, 2, 3. Immediately as the match finishes, Wardlow comes in and chokeslams Kota Ibushi. MJF grabs a microphone and congratulates Ibushi on completing the first challenge, but he's got two to go.
On the following week is Kota Ibushi's beat the clock challenge against Wardlow. Wardlow starts off the match, competing against a local competitor, and beating that local competitor in 30 seconds. MJF reveals Kota Ibushi's opponent to be Brandon Cutler. Cutler enters the match quite arrogantly, confident he will last 30 seconds, but that arrogance costs him as he is almost immediately caught with an inside cradle, and pinned for the 1, 2, 3. Ibushi rolls out of the ring before Wardlow can get to him. MJF gets in the ring and says to Ibushi, who is now all the way up the entranceway "well done, but you've got one more challenge, and you're going to kiss my feet".
On the go-home show for AEW, MJF hosts a ceremony for Kota Ibushi to kiss MJF's feet. MJF brings in a giant throne, and sets it down in the centre of the ring. Kota Ibushi comes from the back, and looks set to kiss MJF's feet, when MJF feels that him sitting on the throne doesn't feel right, and instead he needs to stand as Ibushi goes through with kissing MJF's feet. MJF stands proudly over Ibushi, who is on the ground, when Ibushi suddenly punches MJF right in the nuts, before leaping to his feet and clotheslining Wardlow over the top rope. MJF staggers around, allowing Ibushi to grab MJF and hit him with the Golden Crucifix. Ibushi grabs the match contract and signs it, before promising to become the new AEW World Champion at All Out.
All Out 2022
MJF (c) w/ Wardlow vs Kota Ibushi with no champion's advantage for the AEW World Championship
This match is Kota Ibushi's crowning moment in AEW. This is the match where Kota Ibushi shows everyone why he deserves to be put in the main event slots, and in this match he demonstrates just how good he can work as a babyface. Throughout the match, MJF uses every single cheat in the book that doesn't involve him getting DQ'd, utilising referee bumps, as well as distractions from Wardlow. But through sheer perseverance and determination, Kota Ibushi fights through all of MJF's challenges, and comes back with his own offence, putting MJF on the back foot. At about the 10 minute mark, MJF rolls out of the ring following a string of offence by Ibushi, and is questioning whether he even wants to get back in the ring, but before he can make up his mind, Kota Ibushi has grabbed MJF and tossed him back in the ring. At about the 18 minute mark, Wardlow tosses MJF a steel chair, before distracting the referee to allow MJF to use the weapon. However, Ibushi ducks under the chair shot attempt, and hits MJF with a flying spin kick, knocking the chair out of MJF's hands and out of the ring, following it up with a lariat to MJF. The finish of the match comes when MJF, in an act of desperation, tries to hit the Double Cross rolling cutter finisher, but because he rushed into it, Ibushi is able to reverse out of it, grabbing MJF in a crucifix hold, before connecting with the Golden Crucifix, pinning MJF for the 1, 2, 3.
Kota Ibushi def. MJF (c) to win the AEW World Championship (25:40)
Aftermath
Following Kota Ibushi's win over MJF at All Out, he would enjoy a long and lengthy title reign, and his first challenger would be... Kenny Omega.
END

Updated 10.02.2021
 

2021

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf & Caskey - YELAWOLF X BLACKSHEEP(?) 3. Been A Problem
 
Features RiFF RAFF - TiP TOE 4 (feat. Yelawolf)
 

2020

-----------------------------------------------------
 
Features RiFF RAFF - Water Whippin Wizard (ft. Yelawolf) [Vanilla Gorilla] Struggle Jennings & Adam Calhoun - Cracked Pepper (ft. Yelawolf) [Legend] Korn - The Devil Went Down to Georgia (ft. Yelawolf) RiFF RAFF - Million Dollar Mullet (feat. Yelawolf) Caskey - McQueen Fiend (feat. Yelawolf) [Remix] Outlaw Mel - Big Dreamz (Yelawolf and The Outfit, TX) Struggle Jenning & Jelly Roll - Winds of Change (ft. Yelawolf and Tommy Vext) [Waylon & Willie IV] Struggle Jenning & Jelly Roll - Fufu (ft. Yelawolf) [Waylon & Willie IV]
 

2019

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Ghetto Cowboy 1. Mama Wolf 2. Unnatural Born Killer 3. Opie Taylor 4. Box Chevy 7 5. Here I Am 6. Still Ridin’ 7. Lightning 8. Renegades 9. So Long 10. You and Me 11. A Message From DJ Paul 12. Country Rich (ft. DJ Paul) 13. Keep on Rollin (ft. Big Henri & Cub da Cookupboss) 14. Ghetto Cowboy
 
Yelawolf - Trunk Muzik 3 1. TM3 (ft. DJ Klever) 2. Catfish Billy 2 3. Rowdy (ft. Machine Gun Kelly) 4. Special Kind of Bad 5. Like I Love You 6. Drugs 7. Trailer Park Hollywood 8. No Such Thing as Free (ft. Caskey & Doobie) 9. We Slum (ft. Shawty Fatt & Big Henry) 10. Box Chevy 6 (ft. Rittz & DJ Paul) 11. All The Way Up (ft. MopTop & CookUp Boss) 12. Over Again (ft. DJ Klever) 13. Addiction 14. Over Here
 
Yelawolf & Cub da CookupBoss - SLUMTRAP 1. (Intro) Catfish Billy Speaks 2. Shotz (ft. Moptop) 3. You & Me (ft. Kris Flair) 4. Take It There (ft. Bubba Sparxxx) 5. No Hall Pass (ft. Upchurch) 6. Never Coming' down (ft. Rittz) 7. Muddy Waters (ft. Kris Flair) 8. Sauce
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - Get Buck Freestyle Yelawolf - Pinto Bean Freestyle Yelawolf - Jesco White Freestyle Yelawolf - Billy Goat Freestyle Yelawolf - SKALLYWAG Freestyle Yelawolf - Elvis Messy Freestyle Yelawolf - Mountain Dew Mouth Freestyle Yelawolf - Bloody Sunday Freestyle Yelawolf - Jackson (ft. Fefe Dobson) Yelawolf - Midnight Yelawolf - You and Me (demo) Yelawolf & DJ Paul - I'm So Juiced Up (ft. Seed of 6ix & DJ Ease)
 
Features Caskey - Remember (ft. Yelawolf) [Black Sheep 4] DJ Paul - The Easy Way (ft. Yelawolf & Seed of the 6ix) Doobie - Circles (ft. Yelawolf) [Faithfully Faded] Struggle Jennings - Wild Eyes (ft. Yelawolf) [The Widow’s Son] Rittz - Wake up Call (ft. Yelawolf & Twista) [Put a Crown on it]
 
Music Videos Unnatural Born Killer Opie Taylor You and Me Elvis Messy Mountain Dew Mouth Bloody Sunday DJ Paul - The Easy Way (ft. Yelawolf & Seed of the 6ix)
 

2018

----------------------------------------------------- Features Alexander King - Southern Road (ft. Yelawolf & Gracen Hill) [R.O.S.A.P.] CookUp Boss - Never Comin’ Down (ft. Catfish Billy) [Make the Trap Great Again] Prhyme - W.O.W. (With Out Warning) [ft. Yelawolf] {Prhyme 2} Jelly Roll - Southern Hospitality (ft. Yelawolf, Struggle & Alexander King) [Goodnight Nashville] The Fever 333 - (The First Stone) Changes (ft. Yelawolf) [Made An America]
 

2017

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Trial By Fire 1. Trial By Fire 2. Shadows (ft. Joshua Hedley) 3. Get Mine (ft. Kid Rock) 4. Son of a Gun 5. Ride or Die 6. Struggle Speaks (Interlude) 7. Daylight 8. Do For Love 9. Punk (ft. Travis Barker & Juicy J) 10. Row Your Boat 11. True to Yourself (ft. Bones Owens) 12. Sabrina 13. Violin (ft. Lee Brice) 14. Keeps Me Alive (ft. Wynonna Judd)
 
Yelawolf & Cookup Boss - Catfish Billy X Cub Cookup Boss 1. Too Gangsta 2. You & Me 3. Sauce 4. Muddy Waters 5. Cocaine 6. Heisenberg
 
Features Angaleena Presley - Country (ft. Yelawolf) [Wrangled] Bone Thugs - Gravity (ft. Yelawolf) [New Waves] DJ Paul - Litty Up RMX (ft. Yelawolf) [Da Reason: Thank Me Later] Struggle Jennings - Your Little Man (ft. Yelawolf)
 
Music Videos Daylight Row Your Boat Get Mine ft. Kid Rock Punk ft. Travis Barker & Juicy J Shadows ft. Joshua Hedley Struggle Jennings - Your Little Man (ft. Yelawolf)
 

2016

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - H.O.T.E.L 1. Supersonic Alley Cat 2. You Should Have Known 3. Renegades 4. Someday 5. In Love Tonight 6. Be Yourself (ft. Bubba Sparxxx) 7. Good Love
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - Instagram Freestyle Yelawolf - Instagram Freestyle 2 Yelawolf - Instagram Freestyle 3 Yelawolf - Instagram Freestyle 4 Yelawolf & Travis Barker - Out Of Control
 
Features Bubba Sparxxx - Put in Work (ft. Yelawolf) [The Bubba Mathis EP] Bubba Sparxxx - Y. G. M. F. U. (ft. Yelawolf) [The Bubba Mathis EP] DJ Paul - Get Away (ft. Jon Connor & Yelawolf) [Mafia 4 Life] DJ Paul - Slumerican Three 6 (ft. Yelawolf) [#YOTS Pt. 1] Doobie Bvndit - Jacuzzi Lucy (Remix) (ft. Yelawolf) Struggle Jennings - Return of the Outlaw (ft. Yelawolf) [Return of the Outlaw]
 
Music Videos DJ Paul - Get Away (ft. Yelawolf & Jon Connor Bubba Sparxxx - Y. G. M. F. U. (ft. Yelawolf)
 

2015

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Love Story 1. Outer Space 2. Change 3. American You 4. Whiskey in a Bottle 5. Ball and Chain (Interlude) 6. Till It's Gone 7. Devil in my Veins 8. Best Friend (ft. Eminem) 9. Empty Bottles 10. Heartbreak 11. Tennessee Love 12. Box Chevy V 13. Love Story 14. Johnny Cash 15. Have a Great Flight 16. Sky's the Limit 17. Disappear 18. Fiddle Me This
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - Led Zeppelin Freestyle Yelawolf - American You (Extended Version) Yelawolf - Till It’s Gone (Acoustic) [ft. DJ Klever, Bones Owens & Travis Barker) Yelawolf - Till It's Gone (Campfire Remix) Yelawolf - Till It's Gone (Dan Heath Remix) Yelawolf - To Whom It May Concern
 
Features Rittz - L.A.F. Remix (ft. Yelawolf, Royce Da 5'9" & KXNG Crooked) WLPWR - Thank You (ft. Yelawolf) [Free Game] DJ Paul - F U 2 (ft. Violent J & Yelawolf) [Master Of Evil] Alexander King - Country Side (ft. Yelawolf & Jelly Roll)
 
Music Videos Whiskey In A Bottle Whiskey In A Bottle (Lyric Video) Johnny Cash Best Friend ft. Eminem Till Is's Gone Let's Roll ft. Kid Rock American You Devil In My Veins Box Chevy V Outer Space (Wall of Death)
 

2014

----------------------------------------------------- Shady Records - Shady XV Yelawolf - Down Skylar Grey, Eminem & Yelawolf - Twisted Slaughterhouse - Psychopath Killer (ft. Eminem & Yelawolf)
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - Primus Freestyle Yelawolf - Money Freestyle Yelawolf - Alabama Song Freestyle Yelawolf - Voodoo Child Freestyle Yelawolf - Louder (ft. Ink Monstarr) Yelawolf - Have A Great Flight (Demo Version) Yelawolf - Honey Brown Yelawolf - Box Chevy V (Single Version) Yelawolf, Slaughterhouse & Eminem - Shady CXVPHER
 
Features Gucci Ghost - Slumerican (ft. Yelawolf) [Rad Tape] Hillbilly Casino - The Hole (ft. Yelawolf) [Live In The USA] Jelly Roll - So Long (ft. Yelawolf) [The Biggest Loser] Kaleb D - Reload (ft. Yelawolf) Rittz - Profit (ft. Yelawolf & Shawty Fatt) [Next to Nothing]
 
Music Videos Down Shady CXVPHER
 

2013

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Trunk Muzik Returns 1. Firestarter 2. Way Out 3. F.A.S.T. Ride 4. Box Chevy (Part 4) 5. Hustle (ft. Paul Wall) 6. Catfish Billy 7. Gangster (ft. A$AP Rocky & Big Henry) 8. Rhyme Room (ft. Raekwon & Killer Mike) 9. Fame 10. Tennessee Love
 
Yelawolf & DJ Paul - Black Fall 1. Get Straight 2. Mastermind 3. Bowties (ft. Rittz) 4. Party Prophet (ft. DJ Paul) 5. Light Switch
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf & Big Henry - The Dark Knights Freestyle Yelawolf & Rittz - Hammertime
 
Features Big Henry - Troubled Times (ft. Yelawolf) Brotha Lynch Hung - Tha Package (ft. Yelawolf) [Mannibalector] Da Mafia 6ix - Go Hard (ft. Yelawolf) [6ix Commandments] Fefe Dobson - Legacy (Remix) (ft. Yelawolf) Jackie Chain - Yeah Dats Me (Remix) (ft. Big K.R.I.T & Yelawolf) [Bruce Lean Chronicles Vol. 2] Juicy J - Gun Plus A Mask (ft. Yelawolf) [Stay Trippy] Mickey Factz - Zen (ft. Yelawolf) Pill - I'm Hard (ft. Yelawolf) Rittz - Heaven (ft. Yelawolf) [The Life and Times of Jonny Valiant] Travis Barker - Cuz I'm Famous (ft. Yelawolf, Paul Wall & Hopsin)
 
Music Videos F.A.S.T. RIDE Way Out Hustle (ft. Paul Wall) Da Mafia 6ix - Go Hard (ft. Yelawolf)
 

2012

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf & Ed Sheeran - The Slumdon Bridge 1. London Bridge 2. You Don't Know (For Fuck's Sakes) 3. Faces 4. Tone
 
Yelawolf - Heart of Dixie 1. Howdy 2. Let Me Out 3. Be The One 4. Big Nutz 5. White Boy Shit 6. Fuck Me 7. Sobriety Sucks 8. Out My Face (ft. Shawty Fatt & Rittz) 9. Father's Day 10. Wrap Song
 
Yelawolf & Travis Barker - Psycho White 1. Push 'Em (ft. Skinhead Rob & Tim Armstrong) 2. 6 Feet Underground (ft. Tim Armstrong) 3. Funky Shit 4. Whistle Dixie 5. Director's Cut (Micheal Myers & Superman)
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - Rack City Freestyle Yelawolf - Thank You Freestyle Yelawolf - I Do Freestyle Yelawolf - Best of Freestyles Freestyle Yelawolf - Can it Be Yelawolf - Squidbillies Theme Song
 
Features ¡MAYDAY! – Dollar General (¡MAYDAY! Rmx) (ft. Stevie Stone & Yelawolf) [Smash & Grab] 8Ball - Immaculate Perception (ft. Waka Flocka & Yelawolf) [Premro] A$AP Rocky - 1 Train (ft. Kendrick Lamar, Joey Bada$$, Yelawolf, Danny Brown, Action Bronson & Big K.R.I.T.) [Long. Live. ASAP] Blink-182 - Pretty Little Girl (ft. Yelawolf) [Dogs Eating Dogs] Cisco Adler - Lemonade (ft. Yelawolf, Dirt Nasty, Johnny Polygon) CyHi Da Prynce - Drank & Smoke (ft. Big K.R.I.T & Yelawolf) [Ivy League Club] Jasmine Solano - One On One (ft. Yelawolf) Prof - New Kid (ft. Yelawolf) [Kaiser Von Powderhorn 3] Struggle - Satellites (ft. Yelawolf & Zilla) Trouble Andrew - Cheated (ft. Yelawolf) Big HUD - Far From A Bitch (ft. Yelawolf, Rittz & Young Struggle) [The Long Way Home]
 
Music Videos Push' Em Whistle Dixie Out of Control 6 Feet Underground Funky Shit Stevie Stone - Dollar General (ft. Yelawolf) Trouble Andrew - CHEATED (ft. Yelawolf)
 

2011

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Radioactive 1. Radioactive Introduction 2. Get Away (ft. Shawty Fatt & Mystikal) 3. Let's Roll (ft. Kid Rock) 4. Hard White (Up In The Club) (ft. Lil Jon) 5. Growin' Up In The Gutter (ft. Rittz) 6. Throw It Up (ft. Gangsta Boo & Eminem) 7. Good Girl (ft. Poo Bear) 8. Made In The U.S.A (ft. Priscilla Renea) 9. Animal (ft. Fefe Dobson) 10. The Hardest Love Song In The World 11. Write Your Name (ft. Mona Moua) 12. Everything I Love The Most 13. Radio 14. Slumerican Shitizen (ft. Killer Mike) 15. The Last Song Best Buy Deluxe Edition: 16. Whip It 17. I See You 18. In This World
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - Yonkers Freestyle Yelawolf - Toca Tuesdays Freestyle Yelawolf - Hard White (Remix) (ft. Slaughterhouse & T.I.) Yelawolf - Gangsta Of Love (Feat CyHi Da Prince) Yelawolf - Kill My Nightmare Yelawolf - Pop The Trunk (Bones & Vocal Version) Yelawolf - No Hands Yelawolf - Alabama Gotdamn Yelawolf - Shit I've Seen (ft. Trae Tha Truth) Yelawolf - Just Right (Demo Version of Animal) Yelawolf - 2011 XXL Freshmen Freestyle Yelawolf, Eminem & Slaughterhouse - 2.0 Boys Yelawolf, Kendrick Lamar, LIl B & CyHi Da Prince - 2011 XXL Freshmen Class Cypher Yelawolf, Slaughterhouse & Eminem - Shady 2.0 Cypher
 
Features Ace Hood - Shit Done Got Real (ft. Busta Rhymes & Yelawolf) [The Statement 2] Big HUD - Smell My Cologne (ft. Yelawolf) [Smell My Cologne EP] Big K.R.I.T - Happy Birthday Hip Hop (Remix) (ft. Yelawolf) Bizarre - Down This Road (ft. Yelawolf) [Friday Night At St. Andrews] CyHi Da Prince - Bulletproof (ft. Yelawolf) [Royal Flush 2] Game - Rough (ft. Yelawolf) [Hood Morning] GLC - Empty Town (ft. Cold Hard, Yelawolf & The Carps) [Eternal Sunshine Of The Pimpin Mind] Gucci Mane - Too Turnt Up (ft. Yelawolf) [Writings on the Wall 2] Hollyweerd - Buss It (ft. Yelawolf) Jessie and The Toy Boys - Push It (ft. Yelawolf) [Show Me Your Tan Lines] Kydd - Hall Pass (ft. Yelawolf) [The Sounds in My Head Part 2] Mr. Finley - Oh Yeah (ft. Yelawolf) [Bacc On My Wease Mac Shit] P.Watts - Lites On (ft. Yelawolf) [Element of Surprise] Rittz - Fulla Shit (ft. Yelawolf) [White Jesus] Rittz - Sleep At Night (ft. Yelawolf) [White Jesus] SMKA - Deer Mama (ft. Yelawolf) [The 808 Experiment Vol 2] Struggle - Outlaw Shit (ft. Yelawolf & Waylon Jennings) [I Am Struggle] STS - Hello Sunshine (ft. Yelawolf) [The Illustrious] Tech N9ne - Worldwide Choppers (ft. Ceza, JL of B. Hood, U$O, Yelawolf, Twista, Busta Rhymes, D-Loc & Twisted Insane) [All 6's and 7's] The Crystal Method - Make Some Noise (Put 'Em Up) (ft. Yelawolf) [Real Steel - Music From the Motion Picture] Travis Barker - Let's Go (ft. Busta Rhymes, Twista & Yelawolf) [Give the Drummer Some] Article - Electric Kingdom (ft. Yelawolf)
 
Music Videos Hard White (Up In The Club) ft. Lil Jon No Hands GUTTER ft. Rittz - A Short Film Bizarre - Down This Road (ft. Yelawolf) Travis Barker - Let's Go ft. Yelawolf, Twista, Busta Rhymes & Lil Jon Rittz - Sleep At Night ft. Yelawolf Rittz - White Jesus Struggle Jennings - Outlaw Shit ft. Yelawolf & Waylon Jennings 2.0 Boys Shady 2.0 Cypher 2011 XXL Freshman Cypher Jessie and The Toy Boys - Push It (ft. Yelawolf)
 

2010

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Trunk Muzik 1. Trunk Muzik 2. Stage Lights (Remix) 3. Good To Go 4. Pop the Trunk 5. Box Chevy 3 6. FU 7. Lick The Cat 8. Speak Her Sex 9. I wish (ft. Raekwon) 10. In This Club 11. Love is Not Enough 12. Mixin Up the Medicine (Remix) (ft. Juelz)
 
Yelawolf - Trunk Muzik 0-60 1. Get The Fuck Up! 2. Daddy's Lambo 3. That's What We On Now 4. I Just Wanna Party (ft. Gucci Mane) 5. Billy Crystal (ft. Rock City) 6. Pop The Trunk 7. Box Chevy 3 (ft. Rittz) 8. Good To Go (ft. Bun B) 9. Marijuana 10. Love Is Not Enough 11. I Wish (ft. Raekwon) 12. Trunk Muzik
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - I Need A Dollar Freestyle Yelawolf - Lemonade (Trunk Muzik 0-60 Freestyle) Yelawolf - FMS Freestyle Yelawolf - B.M.F Freestyle (Trunk Muzik 0-60 Freestyle) Yelawolf - Fly Boy Radio Freestyle Yelawolf - Dirt Road Freestyle Yelawolf - I Wanna Rock Freestyle Yelawolf - Beamer, Benz, Bentley Freestyle Yelawolf - Rhyme Room (Episode 1) Yelawolf - Rhyme Room (Episode 2) Yelawolf - Swagger Killer (ft. Mz Shanti) Yelawolf - Looking For Alien Love Yelawolf - Ain’t Goin Out Like That [Peter Rosenberg x Cypress Hill The Uprising] Yelawolf - I Wish (Remix) (ft. CyHi Da Prynce & Pill) Yelawolf, Wiz Khalifa, Bones Brigante & Raekwon - 2010 BET Cypher
 
Features Big Boi - You Ain’t No DJ (ft. Yelawolf) [Sir Lucious Left Foot] Big K.R.I.T - Hometown Hero (Remix) (ft. Yelawolf) [K.R.I.T Wuz Here] Donnis - Country Cool (Remix) (ft. Pill & Yelawolf) [Fashionably Late] Dreamer - Crazy Girlz (ft. Yelawolf) [Live in Stereo 2.0] Emilio Rojas - Turn It Up (ft. Yelawolf) [Life Without Shame] Feroz - Bring The Money Home (ft. Yelawolf) [Invisible Man] Glamourlyke - Cutlass (ft. Yelawolf) [Highway Love] Ludacris - How Low (Remix) (ft. Yelawolf & Rock City) Neako - Suicide (ft. Shawn Chrystopher, Phil Ade, Yelawolf, Smoke Dza & Stalley) Paul Wall - Live It (ft. Jay Electronica, Raekwon & Yelawolf) [Heart of a Champion] Rich Boy – Go Crazy (ft. Yelawolf) [Featuring] Shawty Fatt - Yeah (ft. Yelawolf) Digit - You Win Some You Lose Some (ft. Yelawolf) [The Alter Ego & Summer Of SUM] SkapeZilla - Look The Other Way (ft. Yelawolf, Note & Young Trimm) Scragg Lee - I'm A Freak (ft. Yelawolf, Pill & Henny) [Gold Chains] Thee Tom Hardy - Take 'Em To... (ft. Yelawolf) [The Hardy Boy Mystery Mixtape: Secret Of Thee Green Magic]
 
Music Videos Daddy's Lambo Pop The Trunk Good To Go ft. Bun B Marijuana I Just Wanna Party ft. Gucci Mane Big Boi - You Ain't No DJ ft. Yelawolf 2010 BET Cypher Rhyme Room 2 Yelawolf - I Wish (Remix) (ft. CyHi Da Prynce & Pill)
 

2009

----------------------------------------------------- Features Alex King - Like A Sewing Machine (ft. Yelawolf & Struggle) [Reincarnated] Alex King - Looking For A Change (ft. Sonny Bama & Yelawolf) [Reincarnated] G-Side - Whos Hood (ft. Yelawolf) [Huntsville International] Juelz Santana - Mixin' Up The Medicine (ft. Yelawolf) [Born to Lose, Built to Win] Slim Thug - I Run (ft. Yelawolf) [Boss of all Bosses] Slim Thug - I Run (Remix) (ft. Chamillionaire, Yelawolf & Z-Ro) Stophouse - Rocketman (ft. Yelawolf) [Recession Music] Priceless the Kid - Witness (ft. Yelawolf) [No Barcode] ??? - How We Do (ft. Yelawolf)
 
Music Videos Juelz Santana - Mixin' Up The Medicine (ft. Yelawolf)
 

2008

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Arena Rap EP 1. Back To Bama 2. Candy & Dreams 3. Enjoy The View 4. All Aboard 5. Come On Over 6. Stage Lights 7. Gone
 
Yelawolf - Stereo 1. Stereo Intro 2. Brick In The Wall 3. Stereo 4. Rich Like Me 5. Box Chevy Part 2 6. Break The Chain 7. Phone Skit 8. Gone 9. Magic Man 10. Burn Out 11. Brown Sugar 12. Run Johnny 13. In The Cradle 14. Heroine 15. TNT 16. Stereo Outro 17. Take It Easy
 
Features Jonny Euphonic - Off (ft. Yelawolf & TayFlow) Jonny Euphonic - Sippin Nis' Sauce (ft. Yelawolf)
 
Music Videos Box Chevy: Part 2
 

2007

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Ball of Flames: The Ballad of Slick Rick E. Bobby 1. Talladega Dreamin' 2. Doughnuts 3. Shake N Bake 4. I'm The Shit 5. Boyz In The Woodz 6. Kickin' 7. Run (ft. Shawty Fatt & B.o.B) 8. Hey Rick E. Bobby 9. My Box Chevy 10. New Shoes (ft. Sweet Waste) 11. Beer Buzz 12. Victory Circle
 
Miscellaneous Songs Yelawolf - Before You Leave Yelawolf - Big Trucks Yelawolf - Chainsaw Yelawolf - Double Barrel (ft. Rittz) Yelawolf - Drama Yelawolf - Get Er Done Yelawolf - It's A Party (ft. B.o.B) Yelawolf - Land of Oz Yelawolf - Radio Smash Yelawolf - Superman (2007 Version) Yelawolf - Whyte Trash Yelawolf - 1979
 
Features Vendetta - Hip Rock (ft. Yelawolf)
 
Music Videos Kickin'
 

2005

----------------------------------------------------- Yelawolf - Creekwater 1. Intro (ft. Lil Jamie & Omar Cunningham) 2. Creekwater 3. G.A.D (ft. Big Henry & Shawty Fatt) 4. FITZ Spoken Word 5. Won't Stop 6. Dare He Go 7. Makeup 8. Pickin' Shrooms 9. Breathe (ft. Ban Hameen, Fly Friday & Grip Plyaz) 10. Ride Down The Highway (ft. Ben Hameen) 11. Bible Belt 12. SALIK'S Spoken Word 13. Sleeping Beauty 14. Fifty (ft. Grip Plyaz) 15. Soul Everyday (ft. Ben Hameen) 16. It Aint Over
 
Yelawolf - Piss'n In a Barrel of Bee'z 1. Intro 2. Piss'n In A Barrel Of Bee'z 3. Diamonds 4. Send Em Over 5. 2 Hot 4 TV 6. Hard Work 7. My Time 8. Need 2 Hear 9. Go To Jail 10. Drop It 11. Pissed On (ft. jhi-ali & Shawty Fatt) 12. Pistol N The Air 13. Super Man 14. Fist Up 15. White Boys (ft. ???)
 
Shoutout to the slumfam, especially Rafael and Josh27
 

You! yes you with the internal organs! It's me, the one you were having nightmares about. I have some shower thoughts and you are going to read them while I plot to conquer the world, now let's get to it!!

• Nature vs Nurture has an implication in Remnant, If Nurture shapes personality, in theory you could make a desired strong semblance by raising a child in a specific way. This means that mad scientists could in fact create the strongest semblances by raising subjects under specific conditions.
• Either Oscar's aunt is the most understanding RPG parent in Remnant or she is still waiting for Oscar to come back home without having a clue where he went...kind of a dick move, Oscar, unless it was Ozpin's idea, then it's an usual dick move, Ozpin.
• Grimm have done a better job at uniting humanity than humanity itself. Thus the God of Darkness is actually helping Ozma while the God of Lights sits around watching The Goop Lab on netflix.
• Weiss is techinally the poorest member of RWBY. She got cut off, she is no longer a heiress and her dad is in prison. Meanwhile Blake is the daughter of a head of state and Yang and Ruby are the daughters of a home owner with a stable job.
• Ironwood did end up using Watts' Palandins, so why so jealous, Watts? plus the Atlas military techinally owes him royalties.
• Penny mentions that she had a team, the implication being that she was put on a team with Ciel...that means that Ciel's team is a 3 student team like JNR, but this also means that some sucker lost their spot in Atlas Academy because Penny's two daddies used their influences to get her in the prestigious school.
• If Ironwood had given a damn about the election, he could have supported wholesome grandpa and overall Santa Claus, Pietro Polendina as a candidate. The guy is respected in both Atlas and Mantle and provides health care to Mantle citizens. He could trust Pietro and noone had to know he was a candidate working for Ironwood. He would have lost but at least he could have tried to get 3 seats at the council.
• Clover must be banned in all Atlas Casinos, but considering his boyscout nature he probably doesnt gamble or partaken in the drinks and drugs and violent videogames! Not today, Satan! He shall not be tempted!
• If weapons had human form, Crocea Mors would be a milf...just saying.

Edit: Got a shower and another thought: A baboon faunus would just be a human with a big butt and I cannot lie.

List acquired here.
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Disclaimer: This is likely going to be the most boring section but year 3 is where it starts to get good (which I can make it more humorous) and I will type it up while I play tomorrow. But as long as interest in these threads is here I will invest the time in making them. A couple comments in the first one said it was nostalgic, which I agree, its kind of why I am even writing these. These were the actual good days of poker before government decided to fuck it up for everyone, poker is a shell of what it used to be and it will never return to its glory days without government fucking off. There is no entry point for new players these days, there are no advertisements on ESPN, no play money hustles or low stakes games online full of fish (now full of bots or bot like regs) or mega field mtts for people to get excited about. Also processing power has grown so much that problem solvers are becoming prevalent in decent stakes games. Jump online and play some NLH, it is insanely unfriendly to anyone playing less than perfect (plo is the only way to play online now, lets make it bigger than NLH!). Your every leak will be exploited. Its just not going to come back. (No one tell me bovada is soft either, fuck the anonymous stuff, 4$ rake no rewards system, they deserve no business, globalpoker is the only one worse) Also worth noting every single event I cover is real. The only thing that can be false is dialogue (for humor usually) and potentially altered hand histories due to lapsed memory.
Oh and since I bashed two online sites I will plug one. Coinpoker.com - learn how to use crypto and join up. The software is solid, traffic a bit slow for USA time zones but its growing a bit. I have no affiliation aside from playing there and would enjoy more traffic in USA peak hours.
Year 2
I am now a 20 year old gun slinger in the wild West of online poker. I am grinding sit n gos and mtts and cash games. I am a jack of all trades, and a master of all games. I am playing plo stud8 nlh it didnt matter, I just wanted to learn every game. I was a genuine student of poker, it consumed my brain at all times. I wake up at noon to slide into my chair and start grinding, still living at home with my dad in my ear telling me to get a job because “there is no future to gambling” to which I retort “you got it wrong pops, its actually no gamble no future, and I am gonna gamble for mine”.
I am in the backwoods of Oklahoma. I have no clue when high speed internet was invented but I sure as hell didnt have it in 2006. I was still using dialup as it was the only option available. I grind a lot of mtts and sitngos, and when Poker Stars releases a small patch or update I always paid the piper. I would leave the website open 24/7 so disconnects often would leave me screaming at my computer banging my head as updates downloaded for 5-20 minutes usually. Often I would be ITM in an mtt or holding AA/KK somewhere praying to the poker gods that everyone else disconnected and was feeling my struggles as well.
Nevertheless I am becoming a winning player. I have erratic account balances ranging from 300-1000$ while I play $1-10$ mtts (and occasionally jumping into a 20$+) and cash games at 10nl/plo mostly. I dont exactly recall the tourney that allowed me to cash out $3,000 off of Poker Stars, but it happened at some point that year. I remember the day it came in the mail pretty well. I got in my piece of shit 1998 Ford F150 (that I drove from age 17 to 23ish until I gave it to a friend who had his car stolen, it finally collapsed at 310k miles, I abused that truck, it literally had so many original parts on it, including the spark plugs amazingly) and drove into town head held high with my prize sitting on my lap. I couldnt wait to get to the bank so they could ask me where I got all this money from (which is ironic because a year later you had to lie if you wanted to retain your bank account). In my mind, as a 20 year old who has never even held 1000$ of my own money before it felt like I was going to be cashing the biggest check they would see all week.
I arrive at a Bank of Oklahoma, walk in and head to an open teller. She was an elderly lady probably in her 60s. I hand her the check and give her my account info and she starts punching away on her computer. She asks me how I want it, and with a smug grin on my face I say “in cash”. She gives me a blank stare then reaches into her drawer and pulls out a stack of $100 bills. This was the moment I had lived for, this was the moment my year plus of sitting in a basement ostracized from society grinding it out on my leather ass was for. She leans in to start counting out $3,000 and time is moving so slow for me. My bottom lip is literally shaking watching her count this massive sum of fiat, it was at the time the greatest moment of my life (over losing virginity, over the first time feeling the euphoria of MDMA, over anything). It felt so fulfilling. Pixelated cash turned to physical cash and I was on my way. Making the hour drive to the city to buy some cocaine and hang out with friends.
Short version of the weeks that followed that event, cocaine and home games for pennies. The money ran dry and my nose wore raw. The cocaine was rarely good obviously but thats to be expected in 2006 and in the Midwest.
Towards the end of the year I am going to a friends house to play after a weekend of partying and poker. We played at the casino the night before and have had little to no sleep in two days. Hes not a well seasoned super pro who has cashed a $3,000 check like me but he dabbles a bit. Its Sunday and were gonna grind a few tourneys, one in particular was a freeroll for anyone who earned X amount of FPPs over a set period of time. Everyone who makes final table gets a $12,000 package to main event. So we saddle up and jump into this (if my memory serves me correctly) 26,000~ player field. Luckily it had a good structure with plenty of play, 5 minute levels was going to allow my sharpened skills to shine. Laptops out, chargers plugged into a power supply we were underway. We felt like Louis and Clark setting out to traverse the western USA. We were gonna chart our maps on our way through this large field and claim our prize. We rarely say a word to each other through the first hour, were dog ass tired from the partying and high stakes 1-2nl at the casino the night before.
I bust my entry in the second hour, humiliated by the poker gods I look over at my friend in disgrace to let him know he is on his own, only to see him fast asleep sitting out at his table. I grab his laptop and feel my heart thud and my jugular swell as I have been revitalized having a second chance at this tourney, so long as he doesnt wake up.
I quietly accrue chips, soul reading my digital opponents and swiping their blinds. An hour passes I am still alive. Another hour and I am full thrive. Another hour and it seems I wont be deprived. We get down to 1000 then 500 then 100 people left standing. I awake my friend to show him what I have done, much to his surprise. He was excited but knew that I was the captain of his ship now. He fell asleep at the helm, so his ship now belonged to me.
Now to the hands I remember pretty well.
Two tables left. Not a ton of play but I am one of the bigger stacks. 15ish left and I am in the blinds with 66 when some asshat rips from the cutoff. It will cost me 3/4 of my stack (tbh I cant remember how many bb, it had to be 6-10 I would think, a 5 minute level turbo with 26k people back in 06? Had to be shallow) but I nut up and call.
My 66 is ahead of his QT but he finds a way to win. Now I am on deaths throes seeing this 12k package slip out of my grasp.
Aside from a pivotal pot that I won with K9o (ripping shallow) I remember no other hands but I assure you no one was all in or had someone all in more than I did at those final two tables. It tailed off with me comfortably sliding in from 11~ left to 9. I remember agonizing so many all ins, laughing when I won and yelling FUCK!! when I lost. More highs and lows over that 20-30 minutes than I had ever thought possible, and wouldnt feel again for a year or two. This 12k score was by far my biggest to date. We fist bumped and despite having no sleep we went out drinking and playing 1-2 like a couple of punk 21 year olds that we were. Kind of a side note but I have had many threats to me at a poker table, I am a bit mouthy (in the name of humor, but the humorless get angry).
Since it was my friends account we chopped the 12k. He proceeded to become a 200nl pro for the next few weeks. Sitting with the likes of Sam Simon (of The Simpsons, he was a frequent Poker Stars player) and melting off a good portion before tapping out.
I proceeded to continue to chip up from there. Then I had some issues on Poker Stars. While playing some 180 man sitgos I was talking to someone in chat. Who then found me on my cash tables to ask me what I had in a hand. Needless to say I broke collusion rules (worse than that, he lingered and was telling me his hands and I would tell him mine like a nimrod). Wasnt exactly intentional but I received a life time ban on Poker Stars and they sent me a check for my account balance. Not my proudest moment, it was dumb but honestly resulted in a net positive.
The end of the year I turn 21 and am grinding FTP and I am thinking about moving out of my folks house. I never get a fat roll together but I am winning here and there and blowing money like an idiot kid who has no concept of tomorrow. I was downloading new poker sites (the resulting net positive from losing stars)
One last story from this year. This is genuinely my favorite one I ever tell (and I tell it occasionally to this day in certain situations with people I dont think will get offended and they set themselves up for it)
I walk into a card room and get a 1-2 seat. I grab chips and head that way, and I end up drawing a seat directly to this old mans left. The old man was my grandfather. I had spent minimal time with this man in my life. Less than most people do with grandparents who live fairly close. He was a gambler though, stocks or cards. Rumor has it (never heard this from him only my mom and other family) in the late 70s or early 80s he sells a plot of land with a few oil drills on it and heads to Vegas where he spends 6-9 months playing poker and comes back busto. I never asked him about this story, if true I am sure he was felting himself to Brunson or Slim or some of the other old timers. The land yielded him a few hundred thousand dollars. The funny part is that piece of land is still pumping oil in 2019 (he fucked up). He recovered in life though, he never lived poorly. Owned a house on a lake in Oklahoma and dated meth addicted women 30 years younger than him my whole life. Just a standard version of a sugar daddy I suppose.
Anyhow, we greet each other and exchange a few words before just getting immersed in the game. Hes not exactly an old man coffee player, I do know his favorite hand is 910 though from poker discussions we had previously. About an hour into the session I have barely played a hand. I look over at him and say “man I just keep getting 92o 83o 72o over and over”. He then turns his head towards me and looks me in the eyes and says words I never will forget. He says (using fake name here) “Johnny, there aint one guy at this table that gives a fuck what youre folding” and looks away. I wasnt shocked at the cold response. He was a brash and dry person. Never told a joke that I remember. I never forgot it though and when people try to complain about their cards I tell them “I will tell you what my grandpappy told me, aint nobody at this table gives a fuck what youre folding”. Even though it was kind of cold, truer words rarely are uttered at a poker table. The last thing I care about is someones bad beats or card dead hour or wtf ever else. We are all so self involved that we think people care to hear a bad beat story or whatever, but they dont.
Part 3 in the next day or two.